Animals in a Cage
by Annaleise Marie
Summary: Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett have been friends their whole lives. They've walked their own twisted path, making them the fucked-up people they are today. When Bella Swan moves to Forks, her dad and friends are concerned that the group will ruin her, but no one could imagine the horror of the reality that lay on the horizon. [lemons/violence/language/substance use]
1. Prologue

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Summary**: Edward, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett have been friends their whole lives. Each has walked their own twisted path, making them the messed-up individuals they are today. When Bella Swan moves to Forks, her dad and friends are concerned that the group will ruin her, but no one could imagine the horror of the reality that lay on the horizon.

Rated for lemons, language, violence, and drug/alcohol use by minors. Canon pairings.

**Prologue**

**AN**: Welcome to my new story! It's something I've been toying with for awhile, but kept dismissing for one reason or another. But now I really feel like I can get it out there, so I hope you'll give it a chance!

This first chapter is just a prologue, so it's very short and a bit confusing. That's intentional. Please continue to the next chapter (the first real chapter) before deciding if you'll continue it or not! :D

By way of disclaimers, of course I don't own Twilight and I wish I were making money off of this but I'm not. It seems only Stephenie Meyers or EL James can manage that.

X

The room where I sleep is... sterile. That's the best way I can describe it. The walls are white, spotless and bright. The twin-sized bed and simple dresser are cold, dull metal, bolted to the floor. The sheets are white and stiff, and the blanket is a gray scratchy wool. The floors are shiny-waxed linoleum, and the whole place smells like bleach. Clean. Empty. Cold.

There's a camera in the corner that watches me and a double-plated glass window in the door over a slot where they slide in food when I'm not allowed out. That's also where the multi-colored pills come from. The ones that I cheek unless they check. The pills make me sleepy. I don't want to be sleepy.

I'm an animal. I'm crawling in my own skin. I want to scream with rage and despair and horror. I want to peel my skin off, molt, become something new. I want to run, to push my muscles until I can't breathe, can't feel, can't think, can't, can't, can't...

But then _they'll_ come. And they'll push the meds that I cheek into my veins by force.

I am caged.

X

"Are you ready to talk?" the doctor asks. I look at him dully. He isn't surprised. In fact, he looks meds I'm supposed to be taking dull cognitive processing. He expects it to take a minute to click. I give him what he wants.

We do this every day. Every day since I've come here. How long has it been? I can't remember. I didn't think about it in the beginning, and then I lost track. Plus, I think they kept me unconscious for a few days. I have fuzzy memories of coming in and out, different staff, blood red rage pounding in my ears, screaming, straining, tearing. Then the fuzziness comes back.

They'd probably tell me how long I've been here if I asked. I don't ask. But we've done this many times before. Today I'll surprise him, though.

"Yes," I say, and my voice doesn't sound like my own. I realize that it's been a long time since I've heard it. I look down at my lap, knit my fingers and cross my ankles. The scrub-style clothing they've given me is too big. The hem of the shirt pools in my lap. I don't fidget with it. My meds shouldn't allow me to fidget.

I want to run the cotton between my fingers, pick at the thread, unravel it. I want to unravel the seam. I am unraveling.

"Tell me about that night," he prompts. I stare at him. He has rimless glasses balanced mid-way down his nose. Bifocals. I wonder if I'm medicated because of his poor eyesight. I wonder if he's watching my pupils dilate through one lense setting and my hands twist through another. I still.

"That night..." I start, knitting my brow. That's not a good way to start. He waits patiently. There's a spot of ink on the pocket of his white coat. I'm shocked but I don't know why. I want to reach out and touch it. Of course I don't.

"My story doesn't start on that night," I say finally. He waits, and I think.

How does this story start?

X

**AN**: Again, I know this chapter is short, but it's just the prologue. Please stick around for the first "real" chapter!

I'd of course love to know what you think so far. It's not a lot to go on, but still.

I purposefully didn't mention whose POV this was. There will be hints as the story goes on, but at this point it could really be any of the characters. A bit of mystery is always good, yeah?


	2. Fair Warning

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter One**: Fair Warning

**AN**: This chapter is mostly an introduction to the characters and their present state. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for continuing to read! Love to you all!

X

**APOV**

"It is a privilege to meet him. And that member of Parliament, Mr. Kettle-" Rosalie said in a ridiculous British accent, rolling her eyes.

"Kelvil, my love, Kelvil," Emmett interrupted with a smirk.

"He must be quite respectable," Rosalie continued. "One has never heard his name before in the whole course of one's life, which speaks volumes for a man nowadays. But Mrs. Allonby is hardly a suitable person."

"I dislike Mrs. Allonby," I said, trying not to laugh. "I dislike her more than I can say."

"I am not sure, Miss Worsely, that _foreigners_ like yourself should cultivate likes or dislikes about the people they are invited to meet," Rosalie admonished, shaking her finger at me comically. "Mrs. Allonby is very well born. She is a niece of Lord Brancaster's. It is said, of course, that she ran away twice before she was married. But you know how unfair people often are. I myself don't believe she ran away more than once."

The three of us couldn't contain it anymore and burst out laughing, Emmett guffawing so hard that he was hunched over in his desk, pounding the surface with a huge fist.

"Would you three please control yourselves?" Ms. Floyd broke through our laughter. I rolled my eyes. I really don't understand why this woman became an English teacher. She really has no appreciation. Maybe years of hearing students butcher Wilde has jaded her beyond repair.

"It's a comedy, Ms. Floyd," Rosalie drawled.

"Do you even understand why it's funny?" Ms. Floyd asked. Rosalie's eyes narrowed, all trace of humor gone from her perfect features. I held my breath. Rosalie has what most teachers generously refer to as an "attitude problem" and the rest of us call, "uncontrollable nuclear fucking rage issues".

"I don't think it's very funny," Mike Newton piped up helpfully. Emmett laughed harder. I wondered if he would fall out of his chair.

"Mr. Arbuthnot is very charming," I said pointedly. Rosalie scoffed, turning away from Ms. Floyd and looking back at her book. Jasper wiggled his eyes at me from across the room and I twisted my lips to keep from laughing again.

"Ah, yes! The young man who has a post in a bank," Rosalie sneered. Jasper flipped her off and Rosalie rushed on before Ms. Floyd could lose her mind. "Lady Hunstanton is most kind in asking him here, and Lord Illingworth seems to have taken quite a fancy to him. I'm not sure, however, that Jane is right in taking him out of his position. In my young days, Miss Worsely, one never met any one in society who worked for their living. It was not considered the thing."

"In America those are the people we respect most," I said, waving my hand dismissively. Ms. Floyd rolled her eyes. I'm sure that an English woman at the time would have been more quietly sarcastic, but fuck that I was reading an American's part.

"I have no doubt of it," Rosalie muttered contemptibly.

"Mr. Arbuthnot has a beautiful nature! He is so simple, so sincere!" I started and Emmett laughed.

"So, so stupid!" he added.

"Stick to the play, Mr. McCarty," Ms. Floyd snapped.

"He has one of the most beautiful natures I have come across. It is a privilege to meet him," I said pointedly. Rosalie snorted.

"It is not customary in England, Miss Worsley, for a young lady to speak with such enthusiasm of any person of the opposite sex," Rosalie said. "English women conceal their feelings until they are married. They show them then."

"In America we show our _feelings_ to the opposite sex first chance we get," I said. Jasper and Emmett both started laughing again. Jessica Stanley shot me an appalled look. "Please, Jessica, like you're not constantly shoving your _feelings_ at Edward."

Jessica threw her pen at me and I caught it, eying the metallic purple gel in the casing.

"The play, Miss Brandon," Ms. Floyd snapped again.

"Fine, fine, let's see..." I said, scanning the page for my line. "Do you, in England, allow no friendship to exist between a young man and a young girl? Jeez, what a sausage fest."

"That's it, all of you to the principal," Ms. Floyd said, slamming her copy of the play down onto her desk and motioning towards the door. "Now!"

As we filed out of the room I slid the purple gel pen into my pocket.

X

**EPOV**

"How are you guys not suspended yet?" I asked. The guys had just turned up at lunch after their third consecutive day of being kicked out of English.

"You know, I don't think it's really our fault, man," Jasper said with a slow grin. "I think Oscar himself would have appreciated our commentary."

"Oscar," I said dully.

"Wilde," Alice supplied. "We're reading _A Woman of No Importance_ this week."

"Are you gonna eat that?" Emmett asked, grabbing my bowl of mashed potatoes from my plate.

"Man, fuck you, Emmett," I said. My throat felt tight as he shoveled the potatoes into his mouth. I imagined them sticking like glue in my throat, suffocating me.

We're a messed-up group I guess. The administration gently labels us as "troubled", but it's their politically correct way of saying "will probably be dead before their class reunion". I don't know, we work together.

Emmett and Rosalie are a fucking match made in hell, I'm telling you. They're fucking insane. Emmett developed this weird adrenaline addiction sometime around middle school, after he went cliff-diving in La Push and nearly died. Rosalie, though, she's something else. She's a fucking rage junkie from hell, and always has been, as far as I can remember. She broke a kid's nose in elementary school because he took her red crayon. Now she fights anyone. She can kick your ass easily, but she seems to take personal delight in reducing people to tears with a few choice words.

They feed off of each other, Rosalie's anger fueling Emmett's antics, and vice versa. Last year Emmett joined some local Fight Club ripoff and it's just been non-stop shit since then. They'll kick the shit out of each other if they get bored enough. Weird thing is, even though she's half his size, Rosalie usually wins.

"I'm full of hate and I fucking love it," she told me once.

"Anyway, you'll never guess what we found out," Alice went on, picking up my iPod and scrolling through the menu. I held my hand out and she put it back, smiling sheepishly. Alice is a fucking klepto. I say that in the clinical sense, not to insult her. She's known pretty well as a thief but I don't think that's necessarily fair. "Thief" seems to imply malice, and that's not Alice. She just kind of fucking squirrels shit away that interests her. She doesn't even realize she's doing it half of the time. But I've lost two iPods to her already and I'm keeping close watch on this one.

"What's that?" I asked, only half-interested. Alice knew everything about everyone, and I wasn't even half-interested in most of it.

"There's a new girl," she said. "Just transferred here from Arizona. She was registering while we were waiting to see Mr. Greene."

"So?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Don't you find it a _little_ interesting? We almost never get new students because no one in their right fucking mind wants to live here," Alice pointed out. "Plus, she's really pretty."

"Ah," I said. It made sense now. Alice had declared at the beginning of the year that she intended to help me finally fall in love. Like it was already a fucking goal of mine or something. All it had led to so far was an increase in Jessica Stanley's determination to hop on my dick.

"Don't worry, I'm sure she's already been warned to stay away from the bad kids," Rosalie said sourly. I rolled my eyes. It was a constant cause of ire for Rosalie to be labeled that way. She maintained that she was only seen as a problem rage case because everyone around her was causing problems.

"We'll just have to fix that," Alice said cheerfully.

"All you know about this girl is that she's pretty," I pointed out. "Why are you so determined to befriend her?"

"Because she's new and shiny," Jasper said with a chuckle. Alice glared at him.

"Anyway, of course that's not all I know about her," Alice said, reaching into her purse and pulling out a manilla folder. "I borrowed this from the secretary," she said.

"_Borrowed_," Emmett snorted.

"Her name's Isabella Marie Swan," Alice started reading from the file. "She was last enrolled in Desert Vista High School in Phoenix. 4.0 GPA, school newspaper, transferred for 'personal reasons', and had a standing weekly appointment with the guidance counselor that she plans to continue with a counselor here."

"Sounds like she may fit right in," Jasper conceded.

"It's not a fucking club," Rosalie said. She had a point.

"I wonder what she was seeing the counselor about?" Alice said, shifting through the file. "There aren't any details."

"They wouldn't be kept with her main file, they'd be sent directly to the counselor," I said.

"It's probably some pussy thing like anorexia," Emmett said. I threw my water bottle at him. It bounced off of his shoulder and hit the ground with a thud. "Maybe if you ate a fucking cheeseburger once in a while I would've felt that."

"Fuck you, man," I said again. Emmett didn't actually bother me. He was pretty much the only person who would even talk about my "issues". It made most people uncomfortable, a guy with an eating disorder.

"One way to find out," Alice said, ignoring us. "Isabella!"

A girl who had just exited the lunch line whipped her head up, looking around in surprise. Alice waved her over to sit with us and she hesitated, looking confused, before slowly making her way over to our table.

"You're not seriously going to just ask her," Jasper muttered. Alice shot him a look that clearly said, _bitch, please_.

I glanced down at the table and saw that Alice had whisked the file out of sight.

"Welcome to Forks," she chirped as Isabella sat down between me and Emmett.

"Yeah," Isabella said, looking grim.

"It's pretty much crap," Rosalie added, making a toasting motion with her milk carton.

"Yeah, but my dad lives here, and I decided to move in with him, so..." Bella trailed off, shrugging. "It's pretty different from Phoenix."

"Who's your dad?" Alice asked. We all had a pretty good idea, but then, we weren't supposed to have seen her file.

"Charlie Swan?" she answered hesitantly. Emmett laughed. "You know him?"

"Yeah, we know the chief," Jasper said. "He and I had our differences a couple years back."

"I don't really know anything about it..." she said, looking questioningly at him.

"Jasper Whitlock," he supplied. "And to get all of the introductions out of the way, this is Alice Brandon, Edward Masen, Emmett McCarty, and Rosalie Hale." He pointed to each of us in turn.

"Bella Swan," she replied. "Just Bella."

"Sorry about that," Alice said, wincing.

"It's been happening all day," Bella said dismissively, twisting the stem on her apple absently. I saw Emmett eyeing her tray, which held just the apple and a bottle of lemonade from the vending machines. He looked pointedly at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Not hungry?" he asked and Bella looked at him, startled. I wasn't surprised, people tended to get nervous when Emmett addressed them until they got to know him.

"Emmett, if I have to tell you one more time to shut the fuck up," I warned. Bella shook her head.

"No, um, it's just that I'm a vegetarian," she explained. "Your cafeteria isn't really veggie-friendly."

Nothing too weird about being a vegetarian. Emmett grinned at me.

"Yeah, Edward's one of those, too," he said. Bella turned to me, her eyes lighting up, and I suddenly saw what Alice had meant. She really _was_ pretty. Her hair was shiny and rich, falling down around her shoulders in a full cloud. She had full, rosy lips and pale even skin, huge dark eyes setting a sharp contrast. And she was thin. _Healthy_ thin.

"Really?" she asked. I couldn't take that fucking look she was giving me. I stood up, pushing my tray towards the center of the table and grabbing my bag.

"I've got Chem," I muttered before stalking away from the table.

"Hey, Newton's tonight!" Emmett shouted and I threw up a hand to show that I had heard him but didn't stop to respond.

X

**BPOV**

That was odd and abrupt. I eyed Edward's tray, wondering what had ticked him off about our discussion of eating habits. His tray was empty, but I noticed that Emmett seemed to have two of everything. Maybe he was a vegetarian and the lack of lunch made him irritable? But then why wouldn't he pack a lunch? That was what I was planning on doing after today.

"Is he really a vegetarian or where you just fucking with him?" I asked. Emmett looked thoughtful.

"Edward hasn't eaten meat in nearly a year, to the best of my knowledge," he said, nodding.

"Don't mind him, it's a touchy subject for Edward," Alice said kindly. I was still confused, but decided to let it go.

"Were you talking about Mike Newton?" I asked. "Is there something going on tonight?"

"Yeah," Rosalie said. "I doubt it's your thing, though."

"What is it?" I asked. She grinned, the friendly expression not quite reaching her eyes.

"You'll just have to see it, won't you?" she asked as the bell rang. "We'll pick you up tonight."

"Don't you need my address?" I asked as everyone started gathering their stuff and heading for the door.

"Don't worry, darlin', we know where the good chief lives," Jasper said, shooting me a wry smile. Alice gave me a small wave and then linked her arm with his, following Emmett and Rosalie out of the cafeteria. I pulled out my schedule as the crowd thinned, finding my third block class.

Chemistry. Well, this should be interesting.

X

Of course the only fucking open seat was next to Edward fucking Masen. I was still confused by his sudden departure from lunch, and now, a half hour into our lab, I was almost positive that it was because of me. He hadn't looked at me once, and hadn't spoken unless it was completely necessary. Anything I asked him was met with a grunt that had either a positive or negative tone that I guess I was supposed to interpret as yes or no.

"So you're going to Mike's tonight?" I finally said in a last-ditch effort to make conversation. "Rosalie invited me, so I thought-"

"You shouldn't go," he said shortly, not looking at me. I gaped at him.

"What?" I asked.

"Rosalie and Emmett get off on fucking with people," he said. "If you know what's good for you, you'll stay home. Besides, it's not the type of situation the Chief of Police's daughter should be caught in."

The longest sentence he'd said to me, and it was basically to tell me to stay the fuck away from him. Fantastic. The only people who had been nice to me so far in this god-forsaken place, and he was basically telling me they were just messing with me.

"I don't think it's really your business where I go," I said stiffly. He made that grunting sound again and I let out an irritated sigh. "I'm going," I told him.

"Fine," he said. Don't say I didn't warn you."

I decided then and there that I would not be talking to Edward Masen again. Likely forever.

X

**JPOV**

After school found me curled up on the couch, my head on Alice's lap, my eyes screwed shut. She was making these little shushing sounds and running her fingers through my hair, her nails running lightly across the scalp.

"Don't you have anything for this?" she asked.

"What they prescribe," I said. "It doesn't work. And I can't get hold of James."

Washington doesn't have dispensaries. Washington wants me to suffer.

I lurched up suddenly, barely finding my footing and skidding all the way to the bathroom, making it just in time as the contents of my stomach evacuated. I groaned, bracing my forearms on the toilet seat. The only good thing about this was that the nausea usually went away quicker when I vomited.

"At least you didn't lose your hair," Alice said when I came back into the living room. I sat down, groaning again.

"That's a pretty fucking bleak silver lining you've got there, darlin'," I said. She shrugged, looking apologetic.

"Are you sure we should go tonight?" she asked. I nodded.

"Not going to feel any better just sitting around," I said. "Besides, don't you want to see how Bella handles it?"

"I think she'll do fine," Alice said, grinning. I couldn't help but smile back at her. Alice was fucking ridiculous about this shit, and the second she saw Bella she decided they were going to be friends. I hoped she was right. It was hard making friends when we were this fucked up.

I hadn't told many people about me. I don't want them to know. They don't need to know. But that means that the general opinion of me is that I'm a pot addict and a truant.

Alice stood up and made her way to her parent's liquor cabinet. She pulled out a bottle of Jack and sat back down, taking a swig and then holding it out to me. I shook my head. I couldn't drink when I was like this. I had read that it could actually help with the side-effects of chemo, but I just couldn't stomach it. But Alice never went to the gatherings sober.

X

**BPOV**

"How was your day, Bells?" Charlie asked when I arrived home. I shrugged. "Meet any good people?"

"A few," I said, shrugging. I was thinking about Edward, and how he probably didn't fit into the category or 'good people'. "I got invited to hang out with some people tonight," I said. I practically saw the wheels turn in Charlie's head as he tried to decide what the parental thing to do would be.

"Who?" he finally asked.

"Rosalie Hale and Emmett McCarty," I said.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Bells," he said slowly. "Those kids... they're bad news, you know?"

"Could you like, turn the cop mode off?" I asked with a groan. Charlie shook his head.

"At least once a month those kids are into something, those two and their friends," he said. "Damned lucky they're too young to be treated as adults, and no one's decided to press charges on them yet."

"Dad," I said, rolling my eyes. He was prone to exaggeration.

"What are you guys going to be doing?" he asked.

"We're hanging out with Mike Newton," I said. "You like Mike," I reminded him quickly. He was quiet for a second as he seemed to consider it.

"Mike's a solid kid," he finally said. "But I don't want you running around with that group alone."

"Right," I said. "I need to go change."

"Be careful, Bells," he called after me as I headed up the stairs.

"Right," I called back, trying not to think about Edward's warning about tonight. Maybe it was a sure sign I shouldn't go.

In the end, I decided to ignore it, though, and I was ready and waiting when a large white Jeep pulled into the driveway and honked the horn.

X

**AN**: A few things: The first part of this chapter, the characters were reading from a play called "A Woman of No Importance" by Oscar Wilde, which I highly recommend. Also, the line, "I'm full of hate and I love it," is attributed to Eric Harris, one of the Columbine shooters. I'm not hyping up the Columbine Massacre or glorifying the killers in using the line, but it just fit so well with my idea of a rage addict that I had to use it for Rosalie.

So, largely an introductory chapter, but what do you think? I'd love some feedback! Thanks to everyone who chose to read, and I hope you'll continue! :D


	3. The Rage Machine

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Two**: The Rage Machine

**AN**: Now might be a good time to mention that this story is going to be a lot darker than my others, so it will be cross-posted on other sites (The Writer's Coffee Shop Library and possibly Twilighted) and I may stop updating on this site due to content. I don't want to get my work pulled, which has happened to other stories with darker content. In the event that that happens, I will put up a notice here and the links will be available on my profile.

Moving steadily along, thanks to everyone who read the last chapter, and added it to their alert lists. I'd really love to hear from you, though, so don't be shy! Reviews fuel the writing machine, after all!

Now, let's light this candle, shall we?

X

**APOV**

"You'll tap out if it gets too rough?" I asked. Jasper nodded absently as he wound athletic tape around his knuckles. I asked him each time, but I couldn't help it. His clotting factor wasn't good. Right before he had been diagnosed he had gotten a nosebleed in class and it just wouldn't stop. It was actually what made him go to the doctor in the first place.

"You worry too much," he said, placing his hands on either side of my face and pulling me to him for a quick kiss.

"Hmm," I hummed dismissively. He could say that, but acute myelogenous leukemia only had a forty-percent survival rate for five years, and he had been battling it for a little over a year now. He was currently awaiting a bone marrow transplant. It's not like it wasn't something to legitimately worry about.

"I kind of wish you wouldn't even fight," I said quietly. He sighed, sitting down to lace up his shoes.

"I know," he muttered. "But you've gotta understand, I like fighting something I have a chance of beating once in awhile."

"Jas," I said, my chest tightening. He shook his head. "You know what the doctors said."

"I know, I know," he said, exhaling hard. "People who are determined to beat it are more likely to, so on, so forth."

"It's true though," I said. "Studies have shown it."

"You know what though? There's only so much force of will can do when your own body has decided to kill itself. It's like non-consensual suicide, you know? And it sucks," he said, slouching back on the couch. I sat down beside him, curling into his side as he wrapped his arm around me.

"You're going to beat it, though," I said. "I'm sure of it."

"How?" he asked, grinning. "You can see the future?"

"Only when you're in it," I said seriously. It was something I didn't think about often, a future without Jasper. I couldn't remember a point in my life when he wasn't there. In fact, my earliest memory involves Jasper.

Our parents used to take us camping, huge get-togethers over the weekends, back before we became such "problems". Before I was arrested and Jasper was brought in with me, before he got sick, before Emmett nearly died, before Edward was hospitalized, before Rosalie crashed her car...

When we were happy, when we were normal... there was this huge meadow of tall grass and wildflowers. I was small even then, and the grass grew taller than me. Jasper and I would run around for hours and he couldn't catch me under the cover of that grass.

"You can't catch me!" I'd squeal, the grass whipping at my arms and legs, the jagged leaves of the wildflowers catching at my sundress.

When he did catch me it was in a full-out tackle that sent us both tumbling through the meadow, and I would cry because it made my dress dirty. And then he would take this fucking handkerchief out of his pocket and clean me up as well as he could, and tell me jokes until I stopped crying.

And that was Jasper. He was always there, in my most prevalent memories, picking me up, dusting me off, and making me smile. What would I do without him?

"Let's go," he said, squeezing me gently and standing up.

X

**JPOV**

We drove right past Newton's house and parked a few blocks down. It wasn't a good idea for too many of us to park at the actual location during the gatherings - it attracted too much attention. The fights themselves aren't actually illegal, but some of the other activities that go on during them are.

"The gatherings" made everything sound so much more serious and cloak-and-daggers than it really was. It was basically a bunch of angst-ridden teenagers getting together to drink, smoke, and beat the shit out of each other. The idea had originally come from Fight Club, but since we had no greater goals or shit like that we didn't want to be thought of a Project Mayhem cult type of deal. We didn't even really want a name. And then Newton started referring to them as our "weekly gatherings" and it just sort of stuck.

It had started with Emmett, Newton, Tyler, and James. Sometimes James's girlfriend, Victoria would turn out. From there it just sort of grew. It was still a relatively small group, but we had enough people now for a good night, and enough girls even for Alice and Victoria to get a little variety in their matches.

Newton's place was the usual venue because he pretty much had run of the basement, which his parents had sound-proofed years earlier before his brother went off to college and he was using the basement for band practice. Who knew if his parents didn't care or were really just that trusting, but they never bothered us.

I grimaced as another strong wave of nausea hit me, hoping that Alice wouldn't notice. The side-effects were completely typical, and I didn't want to worry her. She fussed over me a lot, and yeah, I kind of liked it, but she didn't need to go into a gathering worrying about me any more than normal. Besides, if James turned out, I'd be able to take care of it pretty quickly.

Alice and I let ourselves into the backyard through the fence, nodding at Mr. and Mrs. Newton on the back deck and made our way through the door to the smoke-filled basement. I caught the strong scent of pot and forced my eyes to focus on the dim light, searching for James. I found him lounging in a recliner in the corner, Victoria sprawled across his lap.

Here's the thing: Before the diagnosis, it's not like I was clean or straight-edge or anything. I've never pretended anything like that. But since they started the fucking chemo and I started feeling sick around the clock for weeks and months at a time, my use has definitely skyrocketed. I hadn't even met James before that, and now it seemed like I talked to him more than anyone, except maybe Alice. But the shit they prescribe for nausea does _not_ work. I didn't condone _or_ condemn recreational marijuana use before, but since it became medical for me I've become a pretty huge supporter of legalization. Which is what led to the trouble with Chief Swan, before it became decriminalized.

Now that you're all caught up on my drug philosophy and all that shit, back to the situation at hand.

I walked over and nudged the recliner with my foot, making it rock. James pulled away from Victoria, looking confused and a bit pissed off. He had a pretty short fuse.

"Oh, hey man," he said when he saw me, moving Victoria off of his lap and standing up. "What's up?"

"Sick as hell," I said quietly so that Alice wouldn't hear.

"Only got about a dime on me," he said. "These fuckers have about cleaned me out already."

I nodded, reaching into my pocket for my wallet. I found a ten and handed it to him and he pressed the baggie into my palm. It wasn't the most covert of operations, but it's not like we were out on a street corner somewhere. Just about everyone here was on something.

I nodded at James and Alice waved to Victoria and we went to find an open seat. Before the fights started people tended to just chill out, smoking or drinking, and not enough people had shown up yet to get started.

We settled on a couch and I pulled my rolling papers out of my pocket, but another wave of nausea hit me and my vision swam. I handed the baggie and papers to Alice, shaking my head. She took them and quickly set to work, her small fingers breaking up the pot and rolling the joint perfectly on the first try. I'd never understand how she did that.

She took a lighter out of her pocket and sealed the paper before handing everything back to me. I nodded and lit the joint, taking a grateful drag before passing it to her. We sat like that for awhile while I waited for it to take effect.

X

**BPOV**

Rosalie and Emmett let themselves into Mike's house without knocking and I followed timidly, the manners that had been drilled into me over the years rebelling against the act. They headed towards a door off of the kitchen and Emmett opened it, waving us down first. Loud music sounded as soon as the door opened, and I figured the room must be sound-proofed.

We headed down a flight of stairs into a large open room. There were only about twenty people there, but there was a sort of energy and movement that made the crowd seem larger.

"This is what we reluctantly call a gathering," Emmett said, grinning. "The scum of Forks. You drink, you smoke, you fuck, you fight, we don't give a fuck."

"I don't think even Charlie imagined this," I said.

"What?" Emmett asked, his voice booming over the noise of the music and the crowd.

"My dad thinks you guys are bad influences," I said sheepishly. Emmett and Rosalie exchanged a look.

"You're about to see why, honey," Rosalie said before turning and pushing her way through the growing group.

X

**EPOV**

I let myself into the house through the basement door and pushed through the crowd, thankful for once that people tended to give me a wide berth. I shook my head as Mike Newton tried to wave me over, holding up a Solo cup. Don't they know what's in that shit?

My stomach felt like a rock and I bit back a wave of nausea. I always ate before gatherings, since the time I had passed out and Eric Yorkie told everyone he knocked me out. I don't usually give a fuck what people think when shit like that happens, but I will not have people thinking that pussy beat me.

"Edward!" Alice's voice called out as soon as I got through the worst of the crowd. I found her at the edge of the group, a Solo cup in one hand and a joint in the other. Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett were missing, as was Bella. I breathed a sigh of relief. A girl who couldn't even stand to eat meat didn't need to be mixed up in this shit.

"You up tonight?" I asked, nodding towards the center of the crowd, where Tyler was laying down black electrical tape, making a square about three yards by three yards. Alice nodded.

"Yeah, later. Rosalie and Emmett are up first," she said.

"Together?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Alice nodded.

"How's Jasper?" I asked. She held up the joint, quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Better," she said.

"In general?"

She paused, pursing her lips. I nodded. Jasper may not like to admit it, but after a year of chemo and radiation, they still weren't really making any progress. He wasn't getting worse, save the side-effects, but he really needed that transplant, and there hadn't been any luck in finding a close enough match yet. We had all been tested, but no luck. His mom wasn't a match, who knew where his dad was, and he had no siblings.

"He'll be okay," I said. She nodded. We both knew it was an empty promise, but it was comforting anyway. Only liars survive our world.

A round of cheers went up and Alice stood on tiptoe to look over the heads of the crowd. Rosalie and Emmett stepped forward, facing each other, separated by less than a yard.

"The rules are simple," Tyler's voice announced. "Both people must consent to fight. The fight goes on until someone quits or is no longer able to respond. At that point, the fight is over. What starts here, ends here; you don't take it out of the gathering. No weapons."

"Bella didn't come?" I finally asked as Rosalie and Emmett nodded to Tyler and then to each other. Emmett grinned, Rosalie snarled. Somehow they both just exuded power and sex. This situation was Emmett and Rosalie's relationship in a snapshot.

"No, she's here," Alice said. "She followed Rosalie up, so she's probably front row."

"She doesn't belong here," I said. Alice didn't answer me. The fight had started.

Rosalie didn't hesitate, but immediately delivered a crushing right hook to Emmett's face. He stepped back to regain his balance, his head snapping to the side. Her left hand came up but he blocked it and landed a quick blow to her chest. She let out a gasp, followed by a loud roar of anger, and then kicked out hard, buckling his knees.

She was on him in an instant, knocking him on his back and straddling his chest, beating the shit out of him, for lack of a better description. He rolled, knocking her off balance, and grabbed her around the middle, hauling her up in the air and then tossing her.

"Fucking shit!" Alice gasped, her eyes following Rosalie's descent. She landed in a heap at the edge of the taped-off area and groaned, her hands moving to brace on the ground and push herself up.

"C'mon, baby, I know that's not all you've got," Emmett taunted. Rosalie spit and hopped to her feet, rushing him in the space of a second. He dodged her and she whirled around, her foot coming up and landing squarely in the small of his back. He cursed and fell to his knees and Rosalie brought her knee up, catching him in the neck. He went down, groaning.

"C'mon, baby," Rosalie taunted him as he rolled over, rubbing his neck. "I know that's not all you've got." She punctuated her sentence with one last blow to his stomach and he finally tapped out. Rosalie reached out and grabbed his arm, helping him to his feet.

"Damn," I said. Alice let out a low whistle. The crowd parted in front of us and Bella pushed her way through the crowd towards us.

"Oh my god," she said, her cheeks flushed and her eyes wide. "This is what you guys do? You just beat the shit out of each other?"

"Nah, Emmett and Rose are the only ones of us who fight each other," Alice clarified. "It's uh... it's erotic for them, you know. Like foreplay."

Bella's cheeks flamed and she whipped around, looking back to the square. Emmett and Rosalie were already gone. I was absolutely sure they were fucking in the Jeep. She turned back around and her eyes settled on me.

"Edward," she said. There was some sort of challenge in it.

"Bella," I replied. "I'm surprised you came."

"I told you I was," she said.

"And I told you it wasn't good for you," I said. This girl just didn't get it. The rest of the guys and I ran together because we were already fucked up. But this whole mess was just proof that we poisoned anything we touched. This whole fucking thing had gotten started by some guys deciding Emmett was to be idolized with this aggression and adrenaline bullshit.

Alice nudged me but I didn't break eye contact with Bella.

"Really? Because I was just thinking the exact opposite," she said defiantly. "I'm going to fight."

"You really think that's a good idea?" Alice asked carefully. I said a silent prayer that she seemed to be on my side with that, at least.

"I'm stuck in fucking Forks, and I have this asshole treating me like not only does he know me, but also what's best for me. Yeah, I think I have some aggression to let out," she said. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Fight Edward," Alice said, grinning.

"Alice," I said warningly.

"No," Bella said. "She's right. You're the one I'm pissed at. Let's go."

"I'm not fighting you," I said. She was maybe half my size, but she was no Rosalie. Of course, I was no Emmett. But still.

"Tell you what, if you win, I'll go home and never come back," she said. "But if I win, you lay the fuck off of me about what's good for me or where I fucking belong."

Alice's head was whipping back and forth between the two of us so quickly that I was surprised she wasn't getting whiplash.

"Fine," I said finally.

"Don't hold back," she said.

"Well, hell then, let's do this thing!" Alice shouted, grabbing Bella by the hand and leading her through the crowd.

It took awhile to set up our fight, because Jasper was up right after Emmett and Rosalie and Alice couldn't focus on anything else. She flitted around the edge of the square, shouting encouragement at Jasper and thoroughly abusing Laurent, every other word designed to make anyone proper's hair curl.

"Come on, Jas, kick that mother fucking son-of-a-bitch's ass! You don't got shit, you cunt!"

"Quite a mouth for such a little thing," Bella observed.

"She can back it up," I said, shrugging.

"And I can't?" she asked, bristling. I rolled my eyes but was saved from answering as a sharp jab from Laurent sent blood trickling from Jasper's mouth. Alice let out an angry shriek and Jasper's hand came up, signaling his forfeit. There was a collective groan and a round of verbal abuse from the crowd as Jasper left the square.

"I don't get it, why'd he quit?" Bella asked, watching as Alice reached up, steadying Jasper's head as he opened his mouth.

"He has his reasons," I said. "They're his business, though. You'd have to ask him."

"Blood-transmitted disease?" she guessed. I shook my head. She wasn't the first to suggest that Jasper had HIV, and she was at least more polite about it than most.

"I'm not going to tell you," I said. "But he's not infectious, for the record."

Alice finally seemed satisfied that Jasper was okay and came skipping back to us. I would never understand how she managed any sort of coordination at these things - she was almost always four sheets to the wind.

"Okay, you guys ready?" she asked. Bella nodded and I shrugged. Alice motioned to Newton and he nodded, motioning for Bella and I to step into the square.

The music changed and a cheer went up. The group especially seemed to like opposite-sex fights, I guess because there was something taboo about it.

"You sure about this?" I asked.

"Don't wimp out on me, Masen," Bella growled. I shrugged, loosening my shoulders. Fine, then. She knew what she was getting into. She had seen two fights already. She whipped off her hoodie, tossing it to Alice, and I tried not to focus on how ridiculously thin the tank top she was wearing underneath was. I kicked off my shoes and she raised an eyebrow at me. Whatever, I had better balance that way.

Newton called out the set, repeated the rules for Bella's benefit, I guess, and started the count. Bella shifted her stance and I realized my error in thinking immediately. This girl could fight.

Newton hit zero and she moved immediately, stepping forward and grabbing my shoulder before swinging her back leg around and kicking my feet out from under me. I rolled quickly, hopping back to my feet and spinning around to face her. She rushed me again, swinging, and caught me once in the shoulder. I blocked the next hit and sunk my fist into her stomach, winding her. She coughed and retreated, taking a second to gather herself. I let her have the second. That was my mistake.

She twisted, bringing her foot up, and kicked me hard in the stomach, throwing me back a few feet. I managed to keep my footing, but in the second I took to orient myself she was on me again with quick blows to the stomach, chest, and then finally my jaw. It sent up stars behind my eyes and I groaned, throwing my hand out and catching her in the shoulder, making her take a step back.

I crouched down and kicked out, sweeping her feet out from under her, and she crashed to the ground. I was on her in a fraction of a second, my knee pressed into her chest. I drew back to deliver a hard punch but she shifted as she planted her feet on the floor and arched, twisting violently and managing to free herself just before my fist reached her. I barely caught the edge of her cheek, leaving a small scratch from my ring. I cursed and pulled it off, tossing it to Alice. I had forgotten about it.

In the time it took me to do that, Bella landed a solid kick to my gut, doubling me over, and then used her foot to push me onto my back before straddling my chest and grabbing the collar of my shirt, pulling me up as she raised her fist. Our eyes locked.

Bella's chest was heaving, her breasts clearly outlined in her sweat-soaked tank top, her breath coming in shallow bursts. Her thighs tightened slightly on my ribs.

"Foreplay, huh?" she asked. It took a second for me to remember what Alice had said about Emmett and Rosalie. My hand came down hard on the floor as I tapped out.

X

**BPOV**

I couldn't believe I just said that. My face flamed as I climbed off of Edward, the crowd cheering. I had gotten caught up in the moment, and truthfully, I was shocked at how I responded. I had always been able to take care of myself - living in Phoenix since I was little left me unafraid of any part of the city, and my mom had insisted I take self-defense classes if I was going to "wander around like I was invincible". I never bothered to point out that my lack of coordination was a greater danger to me than wandering around in public minding my own business. Anyway, the classes seemed to help my coordination, so it was a win-win.

But I had never, ever, thought I could be turned on by a fight.

Edward stood up, his breathing heavy and his eyes dark. We just stared at each other for a minute as I waited for him to say something, anything, about the incredibly humiliating sentence that had just come out of my mouth.

But he didn't say anything, and after a minute he turned around and picked up his shoes before walking up to Alice and taking something from her. It was only then that I remembered. I reached up and touched my cheek, wincing at the wet feeling of the torn skin there. It was only a scratch, really, but Charlie was almost definitely going to lose his shit.

X

**APOV**

Edward took his ring from me, which I handed over quickly - it carried his family crest, and as much as I liked it, I knew how important it was to him - and disappeared through the crowd. I raised an eyebrow at his retreating back and then shrugged, turning back to Bella. She seemed to finally be aware of the cut on her face, and was in some sort of daze by the look of it. I rolled my eyes and stepped forward to pull her out of the square.

"Pretty impressive," I said, handing her her jacket and searching in my purse for peroxide wipes and a bandage. My purse had started to double as a first aid kit when Jasper got sick. I tore open the wipe packet and dabbed at her cheek. As the peroxide bubbled she seemed to snap out of whatever trance she had been in and focused on me. "Sorry," I said. "Habit. You can put the band-aid on yourself if you want."

I handed her the bandage and crumpled up the wipe and wrapper and threw them into my purse.

"But seriously," I continued as she peeled open the wrapper. "Fucking _awesome_ first fight. I never would have guessed. No offense, but you just don't look like you'd have it in you. So I guess Edward's gonna have to lay off and just accept that you're part of the group now."

"What?" she asked, still looking distracted.

"Well, you know, we've got this reputation as 'problem kids'," I said, shrugging. "I prefer to think we're simply misunderstood, but Edward's pretty determined that we're bad for anyone we come in contact with."

"Wait, he was seriously trying to protect me?" she asked.

"Well, yeah," I said slowly, working through her question in my mind. She didn't think Edward just hated her or something, did she? He didn't even know her.

"Anyway, why'd Jasper tap out earlier?" she asked after a second, seeming to decide to let the Edward issue go.

"Oh," I said, waving my hand dismissively. "He's a heavy bleeder. Nothing to worry about, but it's a giant mess."

People usually bought that without question - that, or thought that Jasper had HIV or hepatitis or something - but Bella was looking at me in a way that made me think she wasn't completely sold.

"He'll be fine, seriously, don't worry," I said, letting a bit of an edge into my tone. I wasn't trying to be hostile, but Jasper was the only one who had the right to tell anyone, and he had made it clear he didn't want just anyone knowing. I had to let her know that the subject was closed.

Newton sidled up beside me and motioned to the square. It was my turn. I handed Bella my purse and jacket and strode to the center, seeing Victoria emerge from the other side. I grinned. Victoria had been my first fight, and we still tried to set something up pretty regularly.

I could get what Jasper meant, about fighting an opponent you might beat being a relief. Since Jasper's diagnosis, I felt like I had been fighting it with him every step of the way, trying to keep him positive, keep him fighting.

Newton counted down and I lost myself in the pure adrenaline and rage. I felt lighter, even as my muscles tensed. At that moment there was no other opponent in the world but Victoria, and I was sure I could win.

X

"It's been a good night for the girls," Rosalie said as we all walked the couple of blocks towards our cars. "And Bella's a beast, who knew?"

"You didn't even see it," Jasper pointed out, grinning. It didn't matter to him much whether he won or not, he just liked the feeling of a fair fight.

"Yeah, but it's not often a newbie takes down one of the guys," Rosalie said. "Everyone was talking about it."

Jasper wrapped his arm around my waist so that we were walking hip-to-hip.

"Anyway, I'm fucking starving," he announced loudly and Emmett let out a bark of a laugh.

"I bet!" he called back. "Diner?"

"You up for it?" Jasper asked. I nodded.

"Think you can stay out a little later, Bella?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah, I'm not looking forward to getting home and letting Charlie see this," she said, motioning vaguely to her face.

"Yes, the good Chief's daughter gets mauled by a bunch of no-good fuck-ups," Jasper mused. "It'll probably be front page news."

"Jasper," I said quietly. I knew he was joking, but sometimes it took people awhile to get used to his sense of humor and I didn't want him to upset Bella.

"The good Chief's daughter _is_ a no-good fuck-up," Bella said with a laugh.

"That why you moved?" Emmett asked. Bella's steps faltered slightly, but I think I was the only one who noticed.

"Something like that," she said, laughing again.

"Bella Swan, the great brawler, too fucking much for fucking Phoenix, come to terrorize Forks," Emmett said in a booming announcer's voice. Bella raised her arms in a triumphant pose.

It was one of those moments where, when someone says, "everything will be fine," you kind of believe them.

X

**AN**: I do apologize for the lack of lemony goodness this chapter, especially given the multitude of chances for it. But well, it just didn't play out. We'll get there, I promise.

Anyway, what's on your guys' minds? What do you think of the chapter/story? Questions? Suggestions? Comments? I'd love to hear from all of you!

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: **Sarah**, **Angelik Angel**, and **Rainbow Skies**! You guys brightened my day so much, you have no idea! I hope you'll stick with me! :D


	4. Prayer and Miracles

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Three**: Prayer and Miracles

**AN**: Thanks so much for all of the interest in this story so far! I was really surprised by the reactions to the fights last chapter - I was expecting more people to be against the opposite sex matches. It was nice to see such support for the equality of the sets.

On with the story, yes?

X

**APOV**

I woke up early on Saturday and groaned, burrowing deeper into Jasper's chest. It took me a second to realize that it had been my phone beeping that woke me up. I rolled over and checked it, finding a message from Rosalie.

_Your mom called. Told her you were sleeping. Wants you to call her when you wake up._

I sighed and sat up, scrolling through my contacts to find my mom's contact entry. She thought I was sleeping at Rosalie's place.

"Alice?" she answered on the second ring. I sighed.

"Yeah, mom," I said.

"When are you coming home?" she asked, her voice tense. Jasper stirred beside me and I looked at him, holding my finger to my lips.

"I don't know, probably in the afternoon. Why?"

"Do you have my necklace?" she asked.

"I don't think so?" I answered, wracking my brain. Kleptomania was a difficult disorder to deal with, because it was largely impulsive. I didn't even notice it when I took half of the crap I did, so could be hard to track down when people noticed it missing.

"I can't find it," she insisted. Bless my mom, really, for being relatively understanding, but seriously, she pointed at me every time she misplaced anything for even a second.

"Have you checked your bathroom?" I asked. I heard her open the door over the phone and rummage around on her vanity.

"Oh, here it is," she said. "I'm sorry, honey, but you know."

"Yeah. I'll see you later," I said, hanging up.

I laid back down, huffing loudly. Jasper raised an eyebrow at me, grinning sleepily.

"What'd you take this time?" he asked.

"Fuck you, I didn't take anything," I grumbled. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Don't get all testy, I've been putting up with your pilfering since we were kids," he teased.

"Please, what have I ever stolen from you?" I asked. He stared at me in disbelief. "That you didn't get back?" I amended and he grinned.

"My heart," he said.

"You're such a goofball," I laughed. He propped himself up on his forearm and smoothed my hair away from my face.

"I mean it," he said quietly before leaning down to kiss me softly. "You've had my heart all of your life. I love you so much," he whispered.

"I love you too," I said, willing my eyes to stay dry. It was difficult. I always wondered if it would be the last time I'd get to say it.

I sat up, pulling the blankets off of my legs and headed for his bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I stripped down and opened the glass shower door to start the water, taking in my shampoo and body wash in the shower rack, my CD in the waterproof player on the far wall. I had a sudden stab of worry about what would happen to this stuff if the worst happened. It was irrational, ridiculous, but it was like... my stuff belonged here. Just like his razor and toothbrush were in my bathroom. It was _us_.

I stepped in and shut the door, turning on the player and leaning back under the stream of hot water to soak my hair.

_This is as good a place to fall as any  
We'll build our altar here  
Make me your Maria  
I'm already on my knees  
You had Jesus on your breath  
And I caught him in mine  
Sweating our confessions  
The undone and the divine  
This is his body  
This is his blood_

I heard the bathroom door open over the sound of the music and saw Jasper's skewed profile through the frosted glass.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.

"No," I said honestly. It seemed like such a self-pitying thing to say, but this was Jasper, so it was alright. He would know anyway. I blinked back tears as he undressed and opened the shower door, stepping in and pulling me to him, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"It's going to be okay," he muttered, kissing the top of my head. I blinked back tears, pressing my face into his chest.

_Such selfish prayers  
And I can't get enough  
Oh, whoa, whoa, yeah_

He placed his hands on either side of my face and guided me to look up at him. His eyes were full of concern and pain, and I was instantly shamed, because with what he's going through, who was I to need comforting?

"It's going to be okay," he said again, kissing my forehead, then the tip of my nose, and then my lips. I kissed him back, trying to communicate without words how much I loved him, how much I _needed_ him, always.

The kiss grew in intensity and Jasper took a step forward, causing my back to hit the tile wall, pressing his body into mine as his tongue gently explored my mouth. I brought my hands up to tangle in his hair, the curls thick and silky in my fingers. I moaned, arching my back, rubbing against his hardening cock. I needed to be with him. I needed to feel connected with him more than anything.

_Spilled milk and tears,  
I did this for you  
Spilling over the idol  
The black and the blue_

His hands drifted down and with one he hitched my leg up to wrap around his hip, letting him grind against me, while the other cupped my breast, massaging lightly. I gasped at the contact, throwing my head back, and he took the opportunity to kiss my neck, nipping lightly. He pinched my nipple, sending a shock of pleasure coursing though me and straight to my core. I wrapped my arms around his neck and with a small hop wrapped my other leg around his hips. His hand left my breast to support my weight.

"I don't want to lose you," I whispered. He didn't answer me. I didn't expect him to. Jasper wouldn't lie to me.

"I love you," he whispered again instead, reaching to turn off the water and carrying me to the bed, laying me down gently.

_The sweetest submission  
Drinking it in  
The wine, the women, the bedroom hymns  
'Cause this is his body  
This is his love  
Such selfish prayers and I can't get enough  
Whoa, whoa, yeah  
I can't get enough_

"Alice," he started and I shook my head. I couldn't hear it. I guided him by his shoulders to lie down and straddled his hips, leaning down to kiss him deeply.

"I need you," I muttered, reaching down to steady his cock and sinking down onto it without further preamble. He hissed through his teeth and I gasped as I was filled completely, my back arching as I squirmed slightly. He grasped my hips as I raised myself up and slid back down, slowly, savoring the feeling of him inside me.

"Fuck, Alice," he groaned, his hips thrusting up, urging me to go faster. I braced my hands on his chest, using the leverage to ride him faster, harder. I cried out as he hit a spot deep inside me that fanned the flames building in my core, the muscles in my thighs tightening.

_I'm not here looking for absolution  
Because I found myself an old solution  
I'm not here looking for absolution  
Because I found myself an old solution_

Jasper sat up, wrapping his arm around my waist and flipping us, linking his arm under one of my knees, hitching my leg up to allow him to thrust deeper. I groaned, arching my back and pushing against him.

"You feel so fucking good," he groaned, his thrusts slow and deep.

"Jas," I whimpered, bucking against him, trying to get more. "Please."

"You want more, darlin'?" he asked, a slow grin spreading over his face. I gritted my teeth. He was going to drive me crazy with this shit. "Tell me," he insisted, his voice husky.

"Jas, please, harder!" I cried, my nails digging into his forearms. He complied, slamming into me, hitting that spot, pushing me closer and closer to the edge.

_This is his body  
This is his love  
Such selfish prayers, I can't get enough_

"Come for me, darlin'," he rasped, his words sending a surge of need through me. My need was coiling tightly inside of me, tighter, tighter, ready to snap. He reached down and rubbed my clit, never pausing in his thrusting, sending up stars behind my eyelids. "Come for me," he repeated.

The coil snapped and pure pleasure coursed through me, pulsing from my core all the way to the tips of my fingers and toes. I cried out his name loudly and he cursed as I tightened around him, giving a few last erratic thrusts before he followed me over the edge, pushing impossibly deeper as he came.

_This is his body  
This is his love  
Such selfish prayers, I can't get enough_

I don't know how long we stayed there after. I was afraid to break the spell of the moment. When we moved again, Jasper would still be sick. I would still be scared. There still wouldn't be any sure answers or assurances.

"Monday," he finally said, hugging me.

"Monday," I repeated tiredly. "Maybe this will be _the_ Monday."

I tried not to think about it too much. We had been through a lot of Mondays.

X

**BPOV**

I got ready for school Monday with a heavy sense of dread. I had managed to get past Charlie Friday night without him seeing my face, and he had spent most of the weekend in La Push, fishing with Billy, but I doubted I'd have such luck this morning. I dabbed a little extra concealer over the scratch, which was already healing, and groaned. It was still pretty obvious, just not as dark.

I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs, listening to the sounds of Charlie clanking around in the kitchen. I paused at the doorway and took a deep breath before stepping in.

"Morning, Bells," he said casually over the crackle and pop of frying bacon. I tried not to let it bother me when he ate meat. I didn't expect everyone to follow in my moral decisions. But jeez, did he have to fill up the whole house with the smell?

"Morning," I returned, letting my hair fall over my face as I walked past him to grab a box of cereal.

"How'd it go Friday night?" he asked.

"Great," I said honestly. "I think I fit in pretty well with those guys."

"Doubtful," Charlie said with a scoff. "I still don't know, Bells, those kids are... scary."

"Dad," I said, rolling my eyes as I poured milk over my cereal. "They're not scary, I promise. They're just... a little different."

"_Different_ is a way to put it, I guess," he grumbled. I sat down with my bowl and started eating as he piled his plate high with bacon.

"When did you learn to cook?" I asked.

"You live alone long enough, you learn to cook," he said. I was tempted to point out that last summer had been sixteen years and _that_ hadn't been long enough, but I decided against it.

"You know who you should look up instead of running around with that bunch?" Charlie started again and I sighed. "Jacob Black. You guys used to get along so well."

"Dad, we were like ten," I pointed out.

"He's grown into a fine young man."

"_A fine young man_," I repeated with a grin. "There's nothing wrong with my friends."

Well, that wasn't true. There was probably plenty wrong with them. But there was something wrong with every living thing, and I definitely couldn't pass judgement, given my past.

I finished my cereal and took the bowl to the sink before turning to grab my bag and give Charlie a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Wait," Charlie said as I turned to head out the door. "What's on your face?"

I turned, tensing.

"It's nothing," I said, shrugging. "You know how clumsy I am."

"Bells," he said in that tone parents get that warns you to tell the truth.

"Seriously, Dad, it's just a scratch," I said. "It's already healing. No big."

"Did one of them hurt you?" he asked, standing up.

"Jeez, no," I groaned as he grabbed my face and tilted it to see the cut better. "It's fine, I swear."

"You go out with them once and look what happened," he argued.

"It wasn't their fault!" I said. That much was true. I had insisted on fighting, after all. And I didn't regret it. It had been exhilarating, exciting... too exciting maybe.

"Bells, I really don't like this-"

"Dad, I need to get to school, okay?" I cut him off, turning and leaving the kitchen before he could answer. I stepped out onto the porch, shutting the door behind me with a final snap, and froze at what I saw.

Edward was on my porch, his Volvo parked in front of the house.

"Oh my god," I gasped, surprised. I looked over my shoulder and paused for a second, listening to see if Charlie was following me out. "What are you doing here?" I finally asked.

"Alice asked me to come pick you up," he said.

"I was just going to catch the bus," I said, starting to walk past him. He sighed loudly.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have been rude to you, but I thought it would work best, okay?" he asked.

"Work best for _what_?" I spat. "For making me feel completely out of place and unwelcome? You were right."

"No," Edward said quickly. "Well, yeah. But look, our deal was that I wouldn't do that anymore, right? Anyway, for the record, I still don't think we're good for you. But Alice insisted." I stared at him incredulously.

"_That's_ the best you can do?" I asked. He shrugged.

"I can give you a better explanation, but first you need to get in the car," he said, motioning towards the Volvo.

"We can talk in school," I said. I had no desire to be in a small enclosed space with him. Or, too much desire. Either way, I wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea.

"We're not going to school," he said, stopping me in my tracks as I started to head for the bus stop.

"What?"

"Look, once a week Jasper has to miss school, and it's a really long story that I can't tell you, but he doesn't want people to know why. So we all skip so that it looks like he's just playing hooky," he said. I gaped at him.

"Seriously, what is going on with Jasper?" I asked. He grimaced.

"I really can't tell you," he said. "_Can't_. I would if I could."

Maybe Charlie was right. Maybe this group _was_ crazy.

"Come on, Alice is going to have my balls if I don't bring you," he said. I sighed, staring from his car to the bus stop and back to my house. Charlie wouldn't be happy if he found out. Injury and then truancy?

"Fine," I said finally. "But for Alice, not for you," I clarified.

"Good. She might be the best of us for you to get attached to," he said, opening the passenger door of the Volvo and motioning for me to get in.

X

**EPOV**

Alice had woken me up an hour early to tell me to go pick up Bella. I hadn't been happy about it.

"No," I said shortly. She made an irritated sound.

"Look, Edward, you said you were going to be nice to her and let her hang out with us," she said. I rolled my eyes.

"No, I didn't," I argued, sitting up in my bed and pulling the covers off, already resigned that she was going to win this argument. "I said that I would stop telling her what to do."

"Same thing," she scoffed. I thought about pointing out that it wasn't but decided that it would be useless and hung up the phone.

Now, I had finally convinced Bella to come with me, and she was acting like I hadn't woken up fucking early as hell and missed my morning miles on the treadmill just to include her. Of course, I guess she didn't know that.

I always resented having my routine fucked with. Or, as the doctors called them, my rituals. They say that in my case, my disorder is more about control than anything. The fact that I was a pudgy little kid and got made fun of it every day for years supposedly has little to do with it.

They came to this conclusion based on the rigid routines I had set up for myself.

I get up at six every morning and run for an hour on the treadmill, usually around five miles, at least five hundred calories. I shower. I eat breakfast - strictly less than two hundred calories - because I have to drive, and driving isn't the time to pass out. I go to school. I drink water and let Emmett pilfer most of my food at lunch. Before I go home I have a snack - one hundred and fifty calories or less - because again, I have to drive. I have dinner with my parents - small portions, under three hundred calories total - because they'll ask questions if I don't. I run for an hour or two on the treadmill, and then I go to bed.

Except for gathering nights, when I carb load, that's it.

The doctors said that it's about control, because I didn't display symptoms of body dysmorphia, like it's some sort of food-related OCD. They said it's more about the numbers than the end product. Maybe they were right. It didn't matter, really. It still ruled my life.

And now Bella had interrupted it and was sitting there acting like I somehow owed her.

"Look," I said, trying to quell my irritation as I turned down a street towards Alice's house. "Emmett and Rose and I are pretty much complete fuck ups. Alice and Jasper too, but in different ways. People who get involved with us tend to regret it. I just didn't want you to get hurt."

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking surprised. I guess people didn't usually own their own flaws in quite the way we did.

"Well, Emmett... He used to be pretty normal, you know? Kind of fit the dumb jock stereotype but generally a pretty good guy. Anyway, he started running with some of the guys from the reservation back when we were in middle school and he nearly died and it's like... it kind of broke something in him, I guess. He gets bored if he's not constantly in some sort of danger or up to something just completely stupid."

"It doesn't sound that bad," she said. "Irresponsible, but so what?"

"The problem with him, and with all of us, is that we tend to take people down with us," I explained. "Anyway, Rose, I don't think anything necessarily _happened_ to make her the way she is. She's just always been this fucking ridiculous ball of rage. The earliest memory I have of her is the time she held Tyler Crowley down at the playground and made him eat about a pound of sand before his mother saw what was going on. He had borrowed her shovel without asking. We hadn't even started kindergarten yet."

"Wow," Bella said, her eyes wide.

"Yeah," I said. "And being her friend doesn't make you exempt from the rage. She broke my arm last year because I made a crude joke about her and her ex-boyfriend, Royce, in front of Emmett."

"You may have deserved that," Bella pointed out and I shrugged.

"We've all known each other forever. It's not like Emmett wasn't around when she was actually fucking the guy," I said. Bella rolled her eyes.

"So what about you?" she asked.

"It's widely believed that I may have some control issues," I said, opting for the doctor's explanation. I wasn't wild about explaining about the eating disorder thing.

"No shit," Bella scoffed and I raised an eyebrow at her as I pulled up to the curb in front of Alice's house. "I mean, I had been in Forks all of a day before you started trying to control me."

"I wasn't trying to control you, I was trying to protect you," I said warily. Bella scoffed.

"I don't know what I ever did to make you think I needed protecting," she said. I shrugged.

"Fair enough. Lucky for you, I'm not allowed to do it anymore, as per our agreement," I said.

"What about Alice and Jasper?" she asked. I paused. I didn't want to tell her about Alice, because people tended to treat her badly when they found out, and it was a little unfair. It was an impulse she couldn't control, and she would return anything she had taken if asked. And I couldn't tell her about Jasper.

"Like I said, they're fucked up in their own way. Alice drinks, Jasper smokes," I said, shrugging.

"That's not _that_ bad. Actually, _nothing_ you've told me is that bad," she said. "There are people in the world more fucked up than you guys."

"True, but you probably wouldn't just hang out with them casually, either," I pointed out. She glowered. "Anyway, let's go. We've gotta get Alice and head to meet Emmett and Rose."

"Doesn't she usually ride with Jasper?" Bella asked as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"Yeah, but Jasper's not going to be with us today," I said.

"Why not? Where is he?" she asked. I rolled my eyes.

"That would be a question to ask him when he gets back," I said simply. She glowered at me and got out of the car, slamming the door. I smirked. I got the feeling that at the very least it would be entertaining to see her try to figure all of this out.

X

**EmPOV**

"Babe, everyone's going to be there in a minute," I called up the stairs. Rosalie threw something down hard by the sound of the thump that came through the floor.

"Thank you, Emmett, I can tell time!" she shouted back. I ignored the sarcasm. It's all good. I like her feisty.

"I could come up there and help you," I called.

"Yeah, because you being in my room regularly involves me getting dressed," she shouted.

"Sure, after a brief but vigorous and fulfilling workout!"

"Are you sure you can tell time?" she asked, coming out of her room as she zipped up her jacket. I checked my watch.

"Five minutes is more than enough time," I said.

"Don't sell it too hard, big boy," she purred. I grinned, leaning in to kiss her, but she turned her head at the last second, giving me the cheek.

"I know you didn't just snub me," I said, pouting.

"We don't have time, Emmett," she repeated, grabbing her keys off of the table as the bell rang. She pointed to the door as if it proved her point and went to answer it. I settled for sulking as I followed after her.

This was our Monday routine while Jasper was in Seattle. Edward, who lived furthest away and whose parents worked from home, drove to Alice's and picked her up. I, of course, would have snuck into Rosalie's room during the wee hours of the night, thanks to the tree outside of her window. Edward and Alice would meet us at Newton's. He had given us permission to camp out in the basement during the day as long as we were extra-careful not to run into his parents on the way in. I guess beating the shit out of each other on the regular instills a feeling of comradery. We had all had our "approved contact numbers" at the school changed to our cells two years earlier, so when the school called to report us absent, we would be each other's parents. Easy.

The routine was slightly different this morning, as I realized when we got to Newton's and Rosalie opened the door, revealing none other than Bella Swan sitting with Edward and Alice.

"Bella," I said in greeting. "What's up?" I held my fist out for her to bump. She just looked at it. Well, okay then. Guess they don't fist-bump in Phoenix. "And Edward," I went on. "You _are_ alive after all!"

"What are you talking about?" he asked, looking confused.

"Well, when you disappeared Friday night, I figured this one had actually killed you and no one was willing to admit it," I said, nodding to Bella, who blushed.

"Nah," Edward said, shrugging. "It just got a little too hot in here for me."

What followed seemed to be Bella choking on air as she sputtered, her face turning bright red.

"Subtle," Rosalie said, smirking as she flopped down in an armchair. "So Edward wants to fuck Bella. Now that we've established that, can we move on?"

Bella gaped at her and then turned and slapped Edward on the arm, who was laughing softly.

"So," I continued, addressing Edward. "I don't get it, if you want to fuck her, why didn't you?"

"Because she's a human and maybe _she_ didn't want to?" Rosalie offered, kicking me sharply in my calf. I stumbled before catching myself and flipped her off over my shoulder. Edward didn't answer me.

"Is that it? She kicked your ass and turned you down, all in one night?" I asked, laughing. "Is that it, Bella? You are one cold bitch. The least you could do is lick his... _wounds_ for him."

"That's not what happened," she said, blushing. I shrugged. At least she wasn't one of those girls who took my questions too seriously.

"Leave her alone, Emmett," Alice said, laughing. "She's new."

"It would worry me if you guys weren't all such dicks to each other," Bella said.

"Fair point," I said, nodding and sitting down myself. "So what are we doing today?"

"I'm going to raid Mike's room," Alice announced, standing up and heading towards the small hall off of the main room.

"What for?" Bella asked.

"Leftover party favors," Rosalie explained, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "People leave all sorts of crap here after gatherings."

"Jackpot!" Alice called out after a second.

"She's like a fucking niffler!" I laughed.

"The fuck is a niffler?" Edward asked as Alice reemerged from Newton's room with a silver pipe and a lighter.

"Fucking malnourished illiterate scumbag." I belted out my tried-and-true response for whenever Edward questioned anything related to Harry Potter.

"Just because you're read one book in your whole damned life," Edward started.

"Mother fucker, I've read SEVEN!"

"They're these things that can like, sniff out treasure," Rosalie said. "Kind of like a platypus with spades for feet."

"They are _not_ like a platypus," I said, offended.

"Like the poor platypus wasn't an awkward enough animal," Bella said in a mock-mournful tone.

"They're not like platypus...es!" I shouted.

"Platapussies?" Edward suggested, raising an eyebrow.

"Platypi," Bella said, shrugging. "Like octopi."

"Platter of pussies," I said with a wide grin. Rosalie smacked me in the arm.

"Are you sure you guys aren't already stoned?" Alice asked, quirking an eyebrow at us.

If we weren't then, we were two hours and three of Alice's trips to Mike's room later. Bella didn't smoke, but that was pretty much a technicality because the whole basement was filled with a smoky haze. I don't know if I buy that contact high shit, but it was either that or Bella was just kind of fucking ridiculous already, in a good way.

She was lounging across the couch, her feet up on the arm and her head on the middle cushion beside Edward, her hair cascading across the cushion and over the edge. I smirked at Edward. He had this thing for long hair. He was determinedly not looking at her, his jaw tight.

Rosalie had moved to my chair, sprawling across my lap with her arm linked around my neck loosely. Alice was draped over another chair, upside down, her legs and feet braced against the back and her head hanging off of the seat, her face slightly flushed.

For the record, she wasn't sitting like that because she was stoned, Alice just sits in fucking weird ways. It's like sitting in a chair like a normal person is some sort of sacrilege for her.

"So this is what you guys do every Monday? Just sit around and smoke until school's over?" Bella asked, curling her arm over her head. I saw Edward tense as her arm brushed his leg.

"Well, it really depends on what gets left here from the gathering the week before, but yeah," Alice said.

"Why though? What's Jasper up to that's so secret that you all have to skip school?" Bella asked.

"You mean you don't know?" I asked incredulously. Rosalie elbowed me hard and Alice glared at me. It had the strange effect of looking more intimidating upside down.

"No! No one will tell me," Bella said, sitting up. Edward visibly relaxed. "Jesus Christ, will you stop acting like I have cooties or something?"

"I don't think you have cooties," Edward laughed. He got giggly when he smoked. I was actually surprised he had, since it made him hungry. "Anyway, you have now officially asked everyone except Jasper what he's up to. I keep telling you to just ask him."

"If it were that simple, you guys could tell me," Bella argued. "He's not going to tell me."

"It's not that it's this big huge dark secret," Rosalie said. "It's that it's _his_ business, and _his_ decision if he wants someone to know. It would be really fucking disrespectful if we walked around talking about it to everyone. And honestly, it's kind of fucking rude of you to try to worm it out of everyone but him. It's like you're _trying_ to gossip about him."

"Rose, you know that's not what she meant," I said, running my hand up and down her arm, trying to get her to relax. I hadn't meant to get her started. I was just really surprised, with Alice being the one who was all about her hanging out with us, that Bella didn't know about Jasper.

"The fuck ever," Rosalie muttered, leaning back into me.

"I'm sorry," Bella said, biting her lip. "I really didn't mean any offense."

"Yeah, well, think before you fucking speak," Rosalie snapped.

"Lay off of her, Rose," Edward finally said. Rosalie turned her sharp gaze on him, her eyes narrowing.

"The fuck are you coming to her rescue for? Weren't you the one who was all about her not belonging with us?" she spat. I groaned. "Maybe you were right."

"Babe," I said quietly. Here's the thing about Rosalie: once her rage is engaged, everything is fair game. She can get pretty brutal, and it doesn't matter one little bit what she thought ten minutes earlier, or what she'll think ten minutes later. Prior to this, she actually really liked Bella, and she probably would after this. But she will use everything at her disposal until it's over _according to her_.

"You know how I feel about that," Edward said calmly.

"What even makes you think you belong here?" Rosalie demanded. Bella's eyes widened.

"I'm like you," she said quietly. My ears perked up and Alice sat up straight.

"The fuck does that mean?" Rosalie asked. "You don't know the first thing about us!"

"I know you're a rage case who probably needs medicated," Bella finally snapped. In a second Edward and I were on our feet, both of us sensing the explosion before it happened. Rosalie flew at Bella, who, to her credit, stood up, bracing herself, her hands balled into fists. I caught Rosalie around the waist, holding her to me with one arm as Edward stepped in front of Bella.

"Enough!" Alice shouted. "Rosalie, you need to calm the fuck down, because you've gone about six steps too far. Bella, I really like you, but we just don't say things like that to each other. Now you both need to stop it!"

Her phone rang and she looked down at the display before shooting Edward and me an unsure look.

"We got it," I said, sitting down and pulling Rosalie with me. She had stopped struggling, but I knew from experience that it still wasn't safe yet to let her go. Alice headed for the hall, answering the phone on the way.

X

**BPOV**

"I'm sorry that I called you a rage case," I said after a minute. Edward and I had sat back down when Emmett and Rosalie did, but I got the distinct feeling that the danger hadn't passed since Edward was sitting on the very edge of the cushion, his muscles tensed.

"Whatever," Rosalie said, rolling her eyes. "Like I don't know I have rage issues. That's not the problem."

"What-"

"You just moved here and all of a sudden you think you know me, or any of us for that matter, and what we need?" she spat, standing up again. I stood up on reflex and Emmett and Edward followed suit, staying close to us.

"I'm sorry, okay?" I said. I was actually really sorry that I had made her mad. Not because I was afraid of her, but because I legitimately hated upsetting people. "I just, I mean, I understand that you were mad but-"

"Guys!" Alice shouted.

"You don't understand a single thing about any of us!" Rosalie snapped.

"Why do you all keep assuming that I'm this naive little girl? You don't even know a single thing about me!" I shouted back.

"Guys!" Alice shouted again.

"You're the outsider here!"

"Guys!" Alice shouted one last time and then I felt a sharp tug on my ear and _goddamn_, it was painful. Rosalie was suddenly bent over, leaning to one side as Alice tugged on her ear. I had to assume she was doing the same to me. "Finally. Now that you're done fighting like children..." A grin spread across Alice's face and she let go of our ears. My hand flew up to rub at the sore flesh and Rosalie shot Alice a look that could probably whither any house plant.

"They found a match," she finished, her eyes welling up even though the biggest smile I had ever seen was still firmly planted on her face. She was hugging her cell to her chest and nearly shaking with energy.

Everyone was quiet for a minute, and then the room erupted around me. Rosalie rushed forward and hugged Alice, who was now crying in earnest, and Emmett and Edward let out triumphant-sounding roars, high fiving and punching each other in the arm.

"Let me talk to him!" Emmett boomed and Alice held out the phone. "You son-of-a-bitch, guess we're not rid of you yet!" he shouted into it. Alice and Rosalie were now practically jumping up and down.

"Could someone _please_ tell me what's going on?" I finally asked. Rosalie and Alice froze and Alice turned to me, tears streaming down her face.

"You've just witnessed a goddamned miracle," Rosalie said when Alice failed to speak.

X

**AN**: I was actually hoping to go more into Bella's past this chapter, but whoa, a lot happened without it. It'll have to wait.

Credits: The song used in the beginning of this chapter is "Bedroom Hymns" by Florence + the Machine, which is an awesome song and you should definitely check it out. Also for this story, check out "God and Satan" by Biffy Clyro (Jasper/Alice), "Demons" by Imagine Dragons (Edward/Bella), and weirdly enough, "Bring the Pain" by Mindless Self Indulgence (Emmett/Rosalie). Nifflers are from Harry Potter, which is the property of JK Rowling, although I'm pretty sure Nifflers were the property of Hagrid.

Soooooo... thoughts? Comments? Questions? Suggestions? Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter: **Sarah v**, **Nellychick**, **Hans153**, and **RainbowSkies**. You guys made my day!


	5. Tit for Tat

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Four**: Tit for Tat

**AN**: Oh wow, I was kind of blown away by the response to the last chapter! So much amazing feedback, and so varied! I even got my first critical review over at The Writer's Coffee Shop, which was really helpful and amazing! (On that note, Edward's caloric intake has been increased from when the last chapter was first posted.) I especially enjoyed the different thoughts regarding Rosalie, which went from "Rosalie is insufferable" to "I'm glad Rosalie stood up for Jasper and everyone". It was so interesting to see different opinions on it!

Okay, I could keep gushing about you guys for hours, but we should probably get on with the story, yes? Yes.

X

**JPOV**

I headed straight of Alice's after my doctor's appointment since school was already over and the odds were that the group had already vacated Mike's basement. I saw Edward's car parked outside and figured they were all hanging out. That was good. It had been a long time since we had all been together without this looming over us like an executioner's axe.

I barely got the door open when I heard the sound of running footsteps and Alice launched herself at me, wrapping her arms and legs around me and nearly throwing me back off of the porch.

"Miss me?" I laughed, pausing for a second to kiss her softly before putting her down again.

"I'm just really, really excited," she said, laughing. She turned and glanced back in the house.

"Oh, um... Bella's here. She and Rose got into it earlier because she had been trying to figure out where you were," she said quietly. "They're fine now, but I don't think Bella's going to let it go. Just as a head's up."

"Yeah," I said, nodding. "I figure we can't keep it from her too long if she's going to be around much. Besides, we have good news to go with it now, right?"

"Right."

"Have you figured out her story yet?" I asked. She shook her head, furrowing her brow in thought.

"She almost said something about it earlier, but it was during the fight with Rose, so she got interrupted," she said, shrugging.

"Then I know how we're going to do this," I said, motioning for her to go into the house ahead of me.

To be clear, I don't really care who in particular knows that I'm sick; not really. I just don't want _everyone_ to know. I don't want to be "that poor boy with cancer". I don't want people to pity me or treat me like I'm defective - not for a _real_ reason. It doesn't bother me too much when people think of me like a problem kid because I know it's not true. For me, the truth is an absolute mental defense against their assumptions. But if they knew the truth, and they started treating me like I was sick or broken, or something to be pitied, I think it would become too much.

So my concern for who knows only goes as far as whether I think they'll spread the information. I don't worry about the group, because they all have things they don't want known. For Bella to know about me, I needed to know about her.

"Alright, Bella," I said as I walked into the living room. She looked up, seeming startled to be addressed by me directly. "I hear you have some questions."

"Um... yeah," she said, biting her lip.

"Don't go all shy now!" Rosalie said from her spot on the floor, her back against Emmett's legs. "You've worked too hard for that shit."

I waited patiently as she seemed to search for how to phrase the question.

"Where were you today?" she finally asked. "Where do you go every Monday, for that matter? And why? And why don't you want people to know about it?"

I nodded, considering her questions.

"Here's what we're going to do," I finally said, sitting down and opening the drawer of Alice's coffee table, pulling out a pad of paper and tearing off a sheet before passing it to Bella. "We're each going to write down ten points about our secret - because I know you have one too, something that brought you here. You'll read one, and then I'll read one. We can ask for clarification on any point, provided it doesn't run into another point. You can quit at any time, but if you do, so will I. You will only know as much about me as I know about you."

Bella stared at the notepad, chewing her lip absently. Her eyes flickered around the room, stopping on each of us in turn.

"All of us will be here. We'll all know everything, or nothing," I clarified.

She didn't answer me, still staring at the paper, seeming to weigh her options.

"You in or out?" Rosalie asked.

X

**BPOV**

Was I in or out? I hadn't even talked to Charlie about what happened. And it was hard to explain... that feeling of complete and total desperation and hopelessness... It didn't come across well with my explanation. It was something that even I was bitterly ashamed of, and more confused about myself each day. How could these people understand it?

And they would _all_ know. That was one of Jasper's contingencies. I glanced at Edward. I especially didn't want him to know.

But I really wanted to know what was going on with Jasper. I felt like I was missing some integral part of this group by not knowing. It seemed like it was probably something major that bound them all together like this. Actually, it seemed like all of these things they knew about each other were what bound them together.

I was the newcomer. Rosalie had called me the outsider. She had told me I knew nothing. I wasn't part of them. I didn't belong. Edward had said pretty much the same thing. This was no place for me. But for whatever reason, I wanted this to be my place. I wanted to fit. I desperately wanted to belong.

"Does anyone have a pen?" I asked, looking back at the notepad. Alice picked up her purse and started rummaging around in it, finally pulling out a purple gel pen and handing it to me. For some reason she looked sheepish.

I started my list, and Jasper started his. When he was done, he handed his to Alice, who read it over quickly and handed it back to him, nodding.

"Am I supposed to show you mine, too?" I asked. Alice shook her head.

"I'm just making sure he didn't miss anything," she said. I felt a pang in my stomach, and it took me a second to identify it. _Envy_. I envied them for knowing so much about each other, for being so integrally entwined in each other's lives that they could fact check each other's secret sheets. I didn't have that. I wanted that so much.

"Okay," I said when I was done. "I go first?" Jasper nodded and I took a deep breath. I had written my ten points in the order of which they happened. "I didn't have many friends growing up, because I'm pretty shy, but I had a couple really good ones in middle school."

It seemed lame as a first point, but it was where it began, and the story wouldn't be complete without it. Jasper surveyed me for a minute as though waiting for more, then shrugged and cleared his throat.

"I am an only child, and short of my mom, these guys are my only family," he read.

"Your dad?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Never met him," he said.

"I'm sorry," I said. My issues seemed even dumber now. At least I had both parents, and they both cared about me.

"Don't know the guy to miss him," Jasper said, shrugging again. "Your turn."

"When we reached high school, all of my friends lived on the opposite side of this district line from me, so they went to a different school," I said. "At that age... if you don't see each other often, you don't really keep in touch, and I didn't have any luck in making friends at my school."

"They didn't have anyone quite like Alice, huh?" Emmett asked. "No one ready to hoist unsolicited friendship on you your first day?"

"I wasn't expecting anyone to just, automatically want to be my friend. I'm just not good at approaching people or interacting with them," I said, blushing.

"He doesn't mean anything by it," Rosalie said. I didn't know what to say about that. Since the fight, Rosalie had been talking to me normally, as if it had never happened. Now she was making sure my feelings weren't hurt?

"Okay," Jasper said, clearing his throat. "In junior year my nose started bleeding in Algebra class. Like, a ridiculous nosebleed, blood just pouring out, you know? Two hours later, it was still going. They sent me to the hospital."

"My mom was more like a friend than a mom, so dealing with the lack of friends at school was pretty bearable for the most part," I read my next one.

"I really hope this is going somewhere," Rosalie grumbled.

"Shut up, Rose," Edward snapped. I was surprised. He had stood up for me when Rosalie was yelling at me, sure, but to jump in on a single comment?

"It is," I said. "But the background is important to explaining how I got there."

"Fair enough," Jasper said. "So, when I went to the hospital they ran all sorts of tests on me, and everything came back clean. They released me after a night of observation."

"My sophomore year, my mom met my now-stepdad, Phil, and started trailing him around the country with his minor league baseball team, and I was pretty much left completely alone. I was isolated at home _and_ school. I had literally nobody," I said.

"That had to be hard," Edward said quietly. I looked up in surprise. He was literally the first person ever to acknowledge that. Everyone else said I was whining, or just seeking attention.

"It was," I said. "I've never experienced anything worse than loneliness. It didn't matter what was going on. I had no one to share with, good things or bad. No one to care... I mean, I'm sure there are worse things. I just haven't had to go through them."

No one said anything, but I got the feeling that they weren't ignoring me or writing me off - they just really didn't know what to say.

"Your turn," I finally said to Jasper. He looked down at his list.

"Over the next two weeks, I had six more severe nosebleeds, as well as minor cut on my hand that soaked the bandage and didn't start to heal for days," he said. "I went back to the doctor, and this time they focused on my blood in particular."

"What did they find?" I asked. He looked at me for a second and then shrugged.

"You're running into the next point," he said. I looked down at my list.

"My grades started to slip. I was sleeping all of the time. If I was asleep, it's like I didn't realize how alone I was. My teachers and mom became worried and took me to a shrink, who diagnosed me with depression. Incorrectly, I might add," I said.

"That seems like it _would_ be enough to depress a person," Emmett said.

"I wasn't depressed, though. I was sad, and lonely, but depression is an entirely different beast," I said.

"Aren't anti-depressants really dangerous if you're not depressed?" Alice asked.

"And now _you're_ running into the next point," I said. "So, Jasper, what did they find in your blood?"

"Ridiculously high levels of white blood cells and almost non-existent numbers of platelets. The white blood cells were crowding out the other cells, making it impossible for them to develop correctly," he said. "So they ordered a bone marrow biopsy."

"I've never heard of that," I said.

"It's the most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life," he said. "Now, on to your next point."

"I was prescribed Zoloft, and like you said, if you're not depressed, antidepressants are incredibly dangerous, because they mess with your brain chemistry. I became paranoid, restless, aggressive one minute and just a completely distressed mess the next. For the first time I actually felt crazy," I said, swallowing hard. It was hard to talk about. Every time I did, I could feel the shadow of those feelings creeping up on me again. I motioned for Jasper to continue.

"I was diagnosed with leukemia a little over a year ago," he said. "So far, I haven't been getting worse, but I haven't been getting better, and the weekly treatments are hard."

"That's where you were today?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "And every Monday since it began. Although they've changed my treatments a few times."

"What happened next?" Alice asked me, her eyes wide. I got the feeling she had already guessed, but it still took effort to confirm it.

"I tried to kill myself," I said. "I just, I didn't want to live like that. Alone, in a constant state of anger or anguish, feeling just completely insane every minute of every day. Hopeless, because the medications that were supposed to make it easier were making it worse..."

Jasper was staring down at his paper, his hand shaking. Alice's eyes were downcast as well. She looked extremely uncomfortable and she kept patting Jasper's hand in a nervous sort of way. Emmett was gaping at me, and Rosalie's expression looked carefully blank, like she was trying hard not to react. I looked at Edward last, afraid of what I would see there. His jaw was set, a muscle twitching slightly in his cheek, and he was looking determinedly ahead, his eyes narrowed.

Jasper suddenly stood up, folding his list in half.

"Jas," Alice said quietly. He shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, his voice carefully measured. He didn't look at me. "It's nothing against you, and please don't think I'm trying to be mean, but I can't talk to you about this anymore."

He stepped around the coffee table and headed for the kitchen door, opening it and stepping out onto the back porch before sliding it shut again.

"What did I say?" I asked. I was used to people not understanding, but to actually become upset? That was something new.

"Don't feel bad, Bella, you couldn't have known," Alice said.

"I _still_ don't know," I said. "I mean, I know Jasper has leukemia now, but I still don't really understand why he reacted like that."

"I think you should go talk to him," Rosalie said.

"He doesn't want to talk to me anymore," I said, my chest tightening. These guys had a history with Jasper. If he didn't want to be around me, how long would they stick around?

"It's not that," Emmett said. "He just can't do _this_ anymore. He'll talk to you, but he can't do this trade of information thing."

I was getting really tired of everyone talking in fucking riddles all of the time but refusing to tell me anything.

"Seriously, Bella, you can go talk to him, it'll be fine," Alice said, giving me a small smile.

I stood up, setting my list down on the love seat and heading for the door. I hesitated before opening it. I could see Jasper through the glass, sitting on the steps of the porch, his head in his hands. Was he crying? Was he angry?

"Go on, already," Rosalie said. I nodded and opened the door, stepping out. Jasper looked up. He wasn't crying, and he didn't look angry. He looked... upset. Just completely and totally _bothered_.

"Hey," I said quietly. "I'm sorry I upset you."

"Do you know _why_ I'm upset?" he asked.

"I somehow doubt that it's because you think I'm so awesome you're rocked to the core that I almost died," I said. He let out a sharp sort of laugh, shaking his head.

"Sit down," he said, patting the spot on the stairs beside him once. I obeyed, pulling my legs up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. He was quiet for a moment, and then he took in a deep breath.

"You know, when Alice spends the night at my place, and she thinks I'm asleep, she cries," he said. I whipped my head around to look at him, surprised. That wasn't where I thought he would start. "She'll cry for hours, really quietly so that I don't wake up. And if she thinks I'm waking up, if I move or make a sound, she makes herself stop so she doesn't worry me."

"She cares about you a lot," I said quietly. He nodded, looking at the ground.

"We've been fighting for a year," he said. "A whole year of her life has been dedicated to keeping me alive, and worrying that I won't be here tomorrow. She's spent a year of her life crying herself to sleep. I don't know, if it was just me, maybe it would be different, but it's not, so I just keep fighting, just keep trying to stay alive. I'm sick all the time, I'm constantly in pain, and I never seem to be getting any better. But I've been fighting _so hard_ to stay alive."

He paused, staring out over the yard.

"It's nothing against you, Bella," he finally said. "I like you, personally. And Alice likes you. But hearing you say that you willingly tried to give up your life, when I've been fighting so hard... When Alice has suffered so much..."

"It's like a kick to the teeth, isn't it?" I asked, finally understanding. His lips twitched into a small smile and he nodded. "I'm really sorry."

"It's alright," he said. "Just, like I said, it's not you personally, but I'm not good with hearing about that sort of thing."

"It's not a thing anymore," I said. "I mean, I've developed this like, fear of being alone. But I don't want to hurt myself anymore. That's why I moved here. I was tired of being known as _that girl_."

"That's why people don't know about me. I don't want to be _that guy_," he said, nodding.

The sliding door opened and we looked around to see Alice stepping out onto the porch.

"Everything alright?" she asked brightly. I tried to imagine Alice crying from sorrow, not like earlier, when she had been so happy.

"Oh yeah," I said as I remembered. "What happened earlier? What's a match?" I asked. All they had told me earlier was that it was relating to Jasper and, like everything else, I would have to ask him about it.

"They finally found a match for me for a bone marrow transplant," he said, grinning. "I've been on the waiting list for about ten months, since my initial chemotherapy failed."

"Really?" I asked. He nodded, grinning. "That's awesome."

"It is in fact a day for celebration. Jasper's getting new bone marrow, Bella's confirmed she's as fucked up as any of us," Alice said, laughing. "I say we go bowling."

"Bowling?" I asked, taken aback.

"I do like bowling," Jasper mused.

"I can't imagine you guys doing anything as normal as bowling," I said with a laugh. "I figured your ideas of fun always involved beating the crap out of each other and revelling in your own twisted attitudes."

"Don't worry, we take bowling very seriously," Alice said, opening the door again as Jasper and I stood up.

X

**EPOV**

"I don't want to use a fucking bumper," Emmett grumbled petulantly. Alice stuck her tongue out at him.

"You just don't want anyone but you and Edward to have a chance," Rosalie said, swatting him on the arm.

"It's not our fault you can't throw a ball straight," I pointed out. She shrugged. She had been fairly calm since her fight with Bella, and it unnerved me a little bit. I mean, she was always calmer after she had unleashed the rage, but it was always really weird. It was like it was a quantifiable thing that she had to build up again.

"Okay, so, names," Alice said, sitting down at the console. "We've got Chemo Boy, the Death Wish Kid, Giant Fucking Ball of Rage, Control Freak, Emo Girl, and... Niffler."

"Don't do that, Alice," I groaned.

"Fine, fine," Alice said, waving me off and typing in our real names.

I sat down beside Bella to change my shoes, wrinkling my nose at the strong antiseptic smell radiating off of the rented ones.

"So are you any good at bowling?" I asked her. I didn't know what to make of her earlier confession, so I was latching onto any other subject.

"Not as good as I am at fighting," she said with a grin.

"Then I might have a chance to even the score," I said. She laughed.

"Yeah. But you know you didn't actually lose that fight," she said in an undertone. I tensed. I had walked right into another conversation I didn't want to have trying to avoid another. "I'm really sorry about that. It was pretty awkward and embarrassing."

"You apologize a lot," I found myself saying. I said it as soon as I realized it, so my words surprised even me.

"What?" she asked.

"I just mean, you kind of act like you've always done something wrong, and you haven't," I said, thinking back. "You're apologizing for being turned on by the fight, and that's not wrong. There's all sorts of adrenaline and shit going on then, and it's not actually that weird of a reaction in the absence of malice, and that's not what those fights are about. Then, you apologized to Rose, even though frankly she was just losing her shit because that's what she does. And I'll bet you apologized to Jasper, too, even though his reaction was his issue and you couldn't have known."

She was quiet for a moment a she seemed to mull this over.

"I just don't like upsetting people," she said finally. "You guys all have this long history, and I'm afraid I'm going to make you hate me."

"Why do you care? We're not exactly the most desirable people in Forks," I said.

"I don't like being lonely," she said, shrugging. "Besides, I like you guys."

"Look, we're a pretty unapologetic group. We get it, you know?" I said. "I'm not trying to make us sound all deep and profound or whatever, but we've all got our issues, and I figure deep down everyone does, and I don't know about you but I got sick a really long time ago of apologizing for them. So if you want to hang out, hang out, and if you want to fight, fight. Hell, if you want to fuck, go for it. It's all human nature. But stop fucking apologizing for being human."

"Sorry," she said automatically and then winced. "I guess it's going to take some practice."

"Yeah," I said, leaning back in my chair. "I probably should apologize to you though."

"For what?" she asked.

"For making you feel unwelcome. I didn't want you to be lonely. I don't have that malice in me. But I did want you to be safe," I said. "Seems like you're your own worst enemy though, huh?"

"You could say that," she said, laughing. "So am I fucked up enough for this group?"

"You might be the most fucked up of all," I said with a grin. "None of us have given up yet, anyway."

"Neither have I," she said quietly.

X

**BPOV**

Edward and Emmett kicked our asses, bumpers or not, and by the time we left the bowling alley Alice was attracting a lot of looks for the profanity flying from her mouth. It was pretty shocking, actually. Even though I had seen it before, there was just something about a girl her size, looking for the life of her like she's twelve, hurling out words that would make a drill sergeant blush, that made you stop and gawk.

"Excitable, isn't she?" I asked as she continued to thoroughly abuse Edward and Emmett all the way to the cars. Jasper just grinned before ushering Alice into his car.

Edward dropped us off in order of proximity to the bowling alley, which I guess made sense, but it meant that after Emmett and Rosalie had been dropped off, we were alone. I was pretty nervous about that after our earlier conversation. I still couldn't get a solid read on him, whether he liked me or not, by any definition of the word.

Edward interested me, for some reason. My mom always said I wanted exactly what was worse for me, from the ballet lessons that had broken my ankle as a child to my ill-fated and short-lived relationship with Desert Vista's resident badboy, Alex. He had cheated on me and for some reason that made his sister, Jane, punch _me_ in the face. So maybe that was it.

Or, you know, it could be the dark, brooding good looks. But I liked to think I wasn't that shallow.

I was pretty sure it had a lot to do with the electrical chemistry that had passed between us during the fight. Or, had passed through me. Edward hadn't actually acknowledged feeling any such thing.

Most likely it was some twisted combination of all three.

"You haven't said whether you forgive me or not," he said after a moment. I had been so deep in thought that I almost missed it. My brain skipped, skidded around, trying to find traction for a second. I finally managed to produce a very intelligent-sounding, "Huh?" and blushed violently, glad that it was dark in the car. Edward chuckled.

"You haven't accepted my apology," he clarified. "For making you feel unwelcome."

"I don't see how it matters now," I said honestly, shrugging.

"I don't want to be the one who makes you feel like that," he said quietly. "Knowing what it does to you."

My stomach sank. So that was is.

"Well, don't worry, I forgive you. Your conscience is absolved," I said dryly.

"Christ, Bella," he swore, his voice exasperated.

"I'm not going to go home and slit my wrists or something because the great Edward Masen doesn't like me," I snapped. He looked for all the world like he wanted to bang his head against the steering wheel.

"I do like you, okay?" he snapped back. I was shocked into silence. "And yeah, I'd like to not be the reason you do something fucking stupid, but more than that I don't want to be the reason you're fucking hurting, alright?"

"You like me?" I asked, confused. He sighed.

"Yes," he said shortly.

"Then why are you so... why do you want to keep me at a distance all the time?" I asked, remembering the way he pulled away when my arm brushed against him, the way he wouldn't look directly at me most of the time.

"Because it's not a good idea for people like me to like someone," he said. I exhaled hard. This second-guessing business was so at odds with the philosophy he had explained earlier that I was having trouble reconciling it in my mind. He stopped the car and I looked out the window, surprised to see that we were already at my house.

_"If you want to hang out, hang out, and if you want to fight, fight. Hell, if you want to fuck, go for it. It's all human nature."_

I took a deep breath. It wasn't my sort of thing, but he had a point.

He looked at me expectantly and I unbuckled my seatbelt, but instead of popping the door open I leaned towards him, brushing my lips against his before I could decide against it.

Then I was getting out of the car before I could apologize.

_"Stop fucking apologizing for being human."_

I was halfway to the door when I heard his door open.

"Bella!" he shouted. I stopped, turning around to see him quickly crossing the grass towards me.

"I'm so-" I started to say as he reached me, but he shook his head.

"Don't. I told you not to fucking do that," he said before placing his hands on either side of my face, guiding me to look up at him and then pressing his lips to mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I automatically wound my arms around his neck, my body gravitating towards his.

Too soon, he pulled back, his eyes searching mine.

"This is probably a bad idea," he said.

"We're human," I said quietly. "We have those. Be okay with that."

X

**APOV**

I fell asleep that night with dry eyes for the first time in a long time.

Jasper had to complete this round of chemo, since he couldn't take it right before the transplant and while he was recovering for fear that it would kill the healthy marrow. This round would also be heavier in dosage, to kill as much of the unhealthy marrow as possible. Then, he would have to stay in the hospital for a month, and pretty much relocate to Seattle for the summer to be close to the hospital. But after all of that, if it took, he would officially be in remission.

There was no _cure_. He would be in _remission_ for the rest of his life, and he may never be sick again, but that worry would always be there. But this was enough. After everything we had been through, this was more than enough.

X

**AN**: Well. Progress on the Bella/Edward front. Wooo. On that subject, a reader asked if this story was going to focus on Alice and Jasper, or if it would revolve around all couples. The short answer is that this IS primarily and Alice/Jasper story, and they have the main storyline, but the other character's stories will be told as well, since they're all important to the ending.

Something that occurred to me last chapter but I forgot to work in in-text (but I doubt I'll really get the chance again): Alice and Jasper did not use birth control. I know, I know, bad author. No, no, we're not playing the pregnancy game in this story. But there IS an explanation. Cytarabine (the main drug used in chemotherapy for Jasper's type of leukemia) has a widespread side effect of sterility. I'm going to try to work it in at some point, but yes, Jasper has been confirmed sterile. So there's that. Having said that, do as I say, not as my characters do, and always practice safe sex. Unless of course, you are trying to get pregnant in which case birth control is probably not an effective means to your ends. This has been your public service announcement for the day.

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed last chapter: **SexyCullenLove**, **Hans153**, **RainbowSkies**, **Sarah v**, **DeltaGirl**, **Yellow**, **Angelik Angel**, and **Nellychick**. You guys seriously have no idea how much it means to me to hear from you. And those of you who are reviewing without an account - if you have one, please log in! I reply to all reviews, and I'd love to be able to talk to you guys, too!

Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Questions? I look forward to hearing from you! Thanks so much for reading!


	6. Fighting a Bear

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Five**: Fighting a Bear

**AN**: Hey guys, you miss me? The last week or so at work has been a nightmare, so I haven't felt the writing much. But it's all good now, with a whole three days off in a row, so let's get to it, shall we?

**RainbowSkies** mentioned in her review that she found it odd that Charlie didn't know what happened with Bella, because she couldn't imagine one parent not telling another about their child attempting suicide. _This is an excellent point_. That sentence was a mistake that I didn't catch in edit. It should have said that she hadn't even talked to Charlie about what happened - as in he knows, but she doesn't know how to discuss it with him. It has been edited now, but for those of you who already read it, please know that Charlie is aware. Thanks so much for bringing the mistake to my attention, dear! And for the rest of you, if you catch something like that, please don't hesitate to point it out.

Additionally, after a conversation with one of my regulars at work whose sons both had bone marrow transplants, Alice's POV at the very end has been edited heavily. It turns out a lot of the info I turned up on the transplants was incorrect or misrepresented. I suggest checking it out, just for clarification for future chapters.

Now, on with this chapter, yeah?

X

**BPOV**

Edward was on my porch when I stepped outside to head to school the next morning. I smiled shyly at him, unsure of what to say after the night before. I had kissed him. He had kissed me back. But I didn't know what that _meant_.

"Don't worry, we're actually going to school today," he said with a small grin. "I just thought you might want a ride rather than waiting for the bus in this." He gestured behind him to where rain was falling outside of the cover of the porch. I held up my umbrella, shrugging.

"Gotta get used to the rain here sometime, right?" I asked. His smile faded.

"Right. If you want to ride the bus, that's cool," he said, shrugging. "I just thought it was, you know, what I was supposed to do, given the circumstances."

"The circumstances?" I asked. _What? Just thank him and get in the car, you dumbass_, my brain screamed at me. But my conscious had stuck on the last part of his sentence, and I just stood there, staring at him stupidly.

"Well, yeah, you know, Jasper takes Alice to school and Emmett picks Rose up," he said, not meeting my eyes.

"Oh," I said slowly, blushing. "I didn't know." I was biting back the apology, but it was taking everything in me.

"I probably shouldn't have jumped to that conclusion," he mumbled.

"No," I said quickly. "No, I uh... I'm really... thanks."

God, I'm so awkward. Why can't I ever string together a coherent sentence when it counts? I wanted to kick myself.

Edward reached out, placing his hands on my shoulders and turned me around to face the front door of my house.

"Let's try this again, okay?" he said. "You go back in, and come out, and we'll just start over."

"I don't think it works that way," I mumbled.

"Sure it does," he said. I rolled my eyes and went back into the house. Charlie had been on his way up the stairs, and he stopped and turned to look at me.

"Forget something, Bells?" he asked. I shook my head.

"It's a really long story, Dad," I said. He seemed to think about it for a second before deciding he didn't want to know, and then continued up the stairs, telling me again to have a good day as he went. I turned and opened the door again, stepping out onto the porch.

"Good morning, Edward," I said brightly. He grinned.

"Good morning, Bella. I thought you might like a ride to school, given the weather," he said, gesturing behind him again. I tossed my umbrella onto the porch swing.

"That would be nice, thank you," I said.

"See, that was a much better start to the morning, wasn't it?" he asked as we started towards the car. I nodded, laughing, and slid into the car when he opened the door, grateful for the heater. It may be April, but the rain this time of year was still cold, and I chilled easily. It was one of the reasons I never liked it much here.

"I should probably warn you about Emmett," he said after we had gotten on our way towards the school.

"What about him?" I asked.

"Well, you know, he thinks he's pretty funny," he started. I laughed.

"Yeah, I might have noticed that a few times," I said.

"He's probably going to have a field day about this," he said. I nodded.

"As long as Rosalie doesn't decide to kick my ass up and down the football field I'm good," I assured him with a grin. "So do they already know?"

"Alice knows," he said. "Or, she will as soon as she sees us, anyway."

"How?" I asked. He shrugged.

"She just will," he said. "I have no idea how she does it."

Sure enough, as soon as we got to the school Alice came hurtling towards the car, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie following behind her at a slower pace.

"You two kissed," she said, sounding out of breath.

"Good morning to you, too, Alice," I said, biting back a chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah, come on, Bella, we need to talk," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the others. I shot an apologetic look at Edward, who looked like he was trying not to laugh. Emmett looked like he was about to burst, and I guessed he was holding in the multitude of jokes he was longing to throw at us. Jasper looked strained, his jaw rigid, and he just nodded as we passed.

"Is Jasper okay?" I asked Alice. She nodded.

"The chemo makes him really sick," she said in an undertone. Of course, I should have thought of that. Jasper had pretty much told me that himself, after all.

"Sorry, I know I shouldn't mention that here," I said, wincing. She gave me a forgiving smile but didn't say anything more about it.

"So, you and Edward, huh?" she asked. "I can see that, I guess. But it's kind of surprising."

"I guess," I muttered. She shot me a sympathetic look.

"Look, Bella, don't take this the wrong way, but you know that you're part of the group without him, right?" she asked. I just stared at her for a second. "I mean, we don't have like, a rule that we have to pair up, that's just kind of how it happened with the rest of us."

"You think I'm interested in Edward because I want to stay part of the group?" I asked. She bit her lip, looking thoughtful.

"Well, I don't know if I would phrase it that way..."

"You just did," I pointed out. She looked at me sheepishly.

"I'm just checking," she said softly. "I just didn't notice a lot of chemistry between you two. I mean, there was some heat at the fight, anyone with eyes could see that... But as far as you guys hanging out, you seem to be at odds with each other a lot."

"Emmett and Rosalie fight all the time," I pointed out.

"Yeah, but that's Emmett and Rose," she said. "Anyway, it's really your business, you know. You don't have to justify or explain it. Just promise me you're not just doing this because you think you're _supposed_ to."

"I'm actually pretty sure I'm not supposed to," I said. She grinned.

"Probably not. Isn't that Edward's whole song-and-dance?" she said with a laugh. "Anyway, if you're really interested in him, I mean, as much as you can be in a week, then this is great. I just had to know, you know? This may sound weird, but you wouldn't be the first girl to ever target Edward out of curiosity about the rest of us."

"Yeah," I said. "You guys really look out for each other, don't you?"

"If we don't give a shit about each other, who will?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at me. It struck me as a really sad question. No matter what their issues, I couldn't understand why people would just write these guys off like that without even getting to know them. The bell rang and she looked around, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably. "Well, on that depressing note, I guess we should get going. See you at lunch?" she asked. I nodded and she skipped off to rejoin Jasper.

X

**APOV**

"Today we continue with_ A Woman of No Importance_," Ms. Floyd began from the front of the room. "Since most of the cast failed to show up yesterday, we'll continue with our new roles."

"I bet you're just heartbroken about that," Rosalie muttered.

"Isn't that a bit of an exaggeration, though? There are fourteen parts," Emmett said, scanning the cast list. Ms. Floyd shot him a withering stare.

"Jessica, if you'd like to pick up with Act Two, Mrs. Allonby," she said, choosing not to answer him.

"Of _course_ Jessica is Mrs. Allonby," Rose said. I swatted her arm warningly. We didn't need to go to the principal's again. She turned slightly to look at me, rolling her eyes as Jessica began reading in a loud, dramatic voice.

"So Bella and Edward," I said. Rosalie's eyes widened and she brought her hand to her chest in mock surprise.

"Alice Brandon, gossiping?" she gasped.

"I'm not gossiping," I defended.

"Yeah, you are," Jasper whispered. I looked at him in surprise, whipping my head around to see Mike sitting in his normal spot. I hadn't even noticed them trade.

"Okay, I'm gossiping," I admitted reluctantly.

"I just figured they were going to fuck and make shit all awkward, I didn't know they actually had feelings for each other," Emmett chimed in. I put my finger to my lips in warning as Ms. Floyd glared at us.

"I didn't really get the dating vibe off of them, either," Rosalie muttered.

"I don't know, I could see it," Jasper said.

"Really?" I asked, surprised. The idea of them getting together had occurred to me briefly on Bella's first day, and again at the fights, and it wasn't that they wouldn't be a good match, but they just didn't seem interested in each other.

"Sure," he said. "You know, she has this intensive need to be close to people or have people care about her, and Edward has that protective streak. I mean, he's been protective of her since she came here, even though it meant pushing her away. I think if he hadn't done that they would've gotten together at the gathering."

He had a good point.

"I still don't see it," Rosalie said, shrugging. "You don't think she just wants to be with him because she wants to be one of us for whatever reason?"

"I asked, she said that wasn't it," I said.

"You asked her that?" Jasper asked incredulously, gaping at me. "Darlin', you can't just-"

"Why not?" Rosalie asked. "It's a legitimate concern. Remember Tanya?"

"God, what a bitch," Emmett said. It was a bit of an understatement, but Emmett didn't usually talk about women like that in any serious sense, so it was actually a pretty intense insult.

"Yeah, but _Alice_ brought Bella in," Jasper pointed out.

"True," I said.

"Can't we just consider that they actually like each other?" Jasper asked. "I think that's the most likely case."

"They just don't seem that connected," Rosalie said.

"Yeah, well, not everyone's as physical in public as you two," Jasper pointed out. I laughed as Rosalie flipped him off. "And Alice and I have been together for years, so they wouldn't have all of the little familiar gestures going yet."

I looked down at where our hands were connected between the desks and blushed. It had been pointed out before that we were almost always touching, but I usually didn't notice until someone mentioned it.

"Jessica, pay attention," Ms. Floyd admonished and I looked up to see Jessica staring at us, her face twisted in what looked like jealousy and anger.

"Problem?" Rosalie snapped at her. She muttered something and turned back around, looking at her book. "I _will_ come over this desk at you, don't think I won't."

"What'd she say?" I asked.

"Nothing of importance," Emmett said, grinning widely.

"Witty," Jasper remarked.

"Quite, quite," Emmett answered. There was a loud slam as Ms. Floyd's teacher's edition came down on his desk and we all jumped.

"Would you four pay attention?" she asked.

"We're discussing the play," Rosalie said dryly. "And the sheer _genius_ of casting Jessica as Mrs. Allonby."

"The office," Ms. Floyd said with a sigh. "Just go."

"Yeah, yeah, we know the drill," Rosalie muttered as we gathered our things.

X

**BPOV**

I had missed my first two classes on Friday since I was registering, so when I walked into second period Art, I was a little nervous. First period History was one thing; the teacher had just pointed me to an open desk and continued with the lesson as normal. But just by looking around the room I could tell Art was going to be a lot different.

Students were scattered around in various areas, I guess depending on the mediums they worked in. One group was painting, another was sculpting, a few students sitting by the window had large sketchbooks and a row of charcoals in front of them, and one kid that I vaguely recognized from Chemistry was in a corner, wrapping a girl in duct tape.

I headed over to the group with sketchbooks, figuring they were the closest fit even though I worked mostly with oil pastel, and stopped by the table, hesitating. A girl with black hair pulled back in a ponytail and wire-rimmed glasses looked up after a minute, smiling softly when she saw me. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. At least she looked friendly.

"Hey," she said. "You're Isabella, right?"

"Bella," I said automatically. "Is it okay if I sit with you guys?"

"Sure," she said, motioning to an open chair. "I'm Angela, by the way," she continued as I took my seat and pulled out my own sketchbook and pastels. She motioned to a girl with wavy brown hair and a heart-shaped face, "This is Jessica," and then a girl with platinum blonde hair and dark blue eyes, "and Lauren."

"Nice to meet you," I said.

"Yeah, we all thought you'd be here yesterday," Jessica said. Something in her tone made me pause. "I mean, Mrs. Spencer told us you would be in this class. You know, everyone knows about the new girl, that whole thing."

"Right," I said. "I was sick yesterday."

"We thought you might be hanging out with Edward and his friends," Jessica said. Again, there was that edge to her tone that made me pause.

"It's good to hear you haven't fallen into that trap, though," Lauren said.

"Guys, I don't really think it's our business," Angela said quietly, looking uncomfortable. I was pretty sure she was the only one at this table that I was going to like.

"What's going on over there?" I asked, nodding to the couple in the corner with the duct tape.

"Oh, that's Patrick and Laura," Angela said. "They're pretty nice. Patrick can make anything out of duct tape. And I mean anything. He's making something that he calls a 'commentary on suburban life'. Mrs. Spencer calls it 'sheer brilliance'."

"Sounds interesting, at least," I said, satisfied that the subject had been steered away from me. Jessica and Lauren launched into a commentary on everyone else in the room, but I was only half listening as I flipped to a fresh page in my book.

I never really thought about what I was going to draw. Any time I did, the images came out stiff, forced, emotionless and unnatural. I just drew, and whatever the picture became, well, that was just how it was. My work was pretty hit-and-miss as a result, but I wasn't out to impress anyone.

I picked up a pastel and went to work, hearing only snatches of Jessica and Lauren's conversation.

"I'm pretty sure they're drug dealers," Jessica said after about a half hour.

"What does that have to do with them missing school?" Lauren asked with a scoff. My ears perked up and I sat the pastel down and started using my finger to smudge and blend the lines.

"I bet that's when a shipment comes in or something," Jessica answered seriously.

"That's ridiculous, Jessica," Angela chimed in. I wanted to high five her.

"Yeah, it seems a little far-fetched," Lauren agreed. "But then what _are_ they doing?"

"It's none of your business, is it?" I snapped. They stared at me, their mouths open in surprise. I guess it was a sort of rude thing to say, considering it was pretty much the first thing I had contributed to the conversation.

"Were you with them yesterday?" Jessica asked, leaning forward. "That's so _weird_. They usually don't talk to anyone except each other. It's so weird, like, they're such basket cases but they act like they're so much better than everyone else."

"That's not really fair, Jessica," Angela said. "You don't know anything about them."

"That's the point. We've been going to school with them since we were what, five? And they've _always_ been whacked out. Especially Rose. But they act like no one else is worth their time."

"You're not," I said, standing up as the bell rang. Jessica gaped at me. "You're not worth a single one of them, and it's no wonder they want nothing to do with you."

I stalked out of the room, nodding to Mrs. Spencer on the way out. It was kind of a shame, really. It was such a laid back class that if it hadn't been for that incident it might have made for a really good morning.

X

**EPOV**

"I would _totally_ fight a bear," Emmett was saying at lunch. I wasn't so sure how we got on the subject, but Alice had been hurling questions at Emmett about what he would or wouldn't do for the last five minutes.

"Of course you would," I said.

"I could just see it," Jasper said, his voice muffled from his head resting on his arms. "Rosalie traipsing back into town with Emmett a completely torn up bloody mess slung over her shoulder."

"I'm not carrying his ass back," Rosalie scoffed. "If he wants to do some stupid shit..."

"He's _always_ doing stupid shit," I pointed out.

"You would _not_ leave him to die," Alice said confidently. "Even if it meant you had to somehow carry him back to town."

The conversation was interrupted as Bella appeared, slamming her bag down on the table.

"I hate everything about this school," she grumbled as she sat down.

"I think that's my line," Rosalie pointed out.

"Bad day?" I asked. She shook her head, pulling a Tupperware container out of her backpack. "What's that?"

"Eggplant with mushroom stuffing," she said, popping the lid off.

"Can I try that?" Emmett asked, leaning over to peer into the container.

"Uh... I didn't pack very much," Bella said, scooting it away from him.

"You can have my sandwich," I said, pushing my tray towards him. He grinned and then looked pointedly away.

"Jasper, are you going to eat your pizza?" he asked. I scowled as Jasper groaned and pushed his tray towards him.

"Don't look at me like that, Edward," Emmett said, grinning widely. "You need plenty of nutrients now that you have a woman to keep satisfied. You should eat up."

I stared down at my tray as Bella turned bright red, adding up the contents in my head. The bread on the sandwich alone is one hundred and forty calories. The sandwich as a whole was probably close to three hundred and fifty. The fries were one hundred and fifty.

Emmett was trying to kill me.

"Here," Bella said, sliding her eggplant towards me. She glared at Emmett pointedly, who shrugged and dug into Jasper's pizza.

"I don't want to eat your lunch," I said, shaking my head. She shrugged.

"It's no big deal. I probably won't eat all of it," she said. I was only half-listening, my mind spinning as I added. Stuffing generally had around two hundred calories per serving, but mushroom stuffing may be lower because of the lack of animal stock. Eggplant only had about thirty calories. And it wasn't like I was going to eat all of it - it was Bella's lunch, after all. I figured a few bites would only be about fifty calories. I could handle that.

I picked up my fork and speared a piece of the eggplant, hesitating for a second before putting it in my mouth and chewing slowly.

My mouth flooded with saliva at the flavor and my stomach cramped in protest. It wasn't time to eat.

I forced myself to swallow, my jaw tight, and put my fork back down. Alice was looking uneasy and even Jasper had lifted his head slightly to look at me. Emmett was frozen mid-bite, staring at me over his pizza. Bella's brow furrowed, her lips pulling down slightly.

"Is it not good?" she asked as I put my fork down, spearing a piece herself and studying it carefully before taking a bite and chewing thoughtfully. "I think it tastes okay."

I shook my head, ashamed of myself. I hadn't meant to upset her. More than that, I wanted to kick the shit out of Emmett, who was clearly trying hard not to laugh at my dilemma. I pushed my chair back and stood up, trying to think of something to say.

"I'll see you in Chem," was all that came out, and I quickly exited the cafeteria, careful not to look at Bella. I didn't want to see whatever I had just done to her.

X

**APOV**

"What was that about?" Bella asked.

"Do you really not know?" Emmett asked, looking positively gleeful. I wanted to smack him in that moment.

"No, in this whole cloak-and-daggers operation, I'm pretty much the odd man out," Bella said. "Would you quit asking me that?"

"You haven't seen him naked?" Emmett continued, not listening. Bella turned a deeper shade of red than I had previously thought possible and looked down at the table. I sighed. "What, I thought they hooked up!" Emmett defended.

"We kissed," Bella clarified. Emmett sat back, looking thoughtful, his food for once forgotten on his tray.

"Interesting," he finally said, looking puzzled.

"First kisses don't always lead to sex," I pointed out, agitated.

"Not when your first kiss is at age eleven," Emmett shot back, nodding at Jasper.

"Would you all just shut up?" Rosalie said. "No one is ever going to figure out what the hell is going on this way. Bella, what do you know about Edward's... issues?"

"He said he has control issues," Bella answered slowly. "And Alice called him a control freak last night. I just kind of figured that was it."

"You've found the problem, but not the symptom," Jasper said calmly.

"Rocky Horror?" Emmett asked.

"_I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom_," Rosalie supplied. Bella raised her eyebrows. "Emmett makes an excellent Rocky," Rosalie added in explanation.

"Think about it," Emmett said, leaning forward. "Have you ever seen Edward eat anything?"

"Emmett," I said warningly. We didn't as a general practice expose each other's issues.

"Man, I'm fucking sick of this shit," Emmett said. "Every goddamned time I turn around there's something she doesn't know or needs to know and no one will tell her. She's one of our friends, I say she knows."

"It's not your place to say, though," Rosalie said.

"He's anorexic," Bella said slowly.

"Damage done," Emmett said, shrugging and leaning back again. "Yeah, Edward's anorexic. But not in the '_oh, how I'd love to fit into my prom dress_' type of way. He just sort of started counting one day and it kept getting worse. At first I thought he was just OCD or something."

"How bad is it?" Bella asked softly. I sighed.

"That bite he just took is the most I've seen him eat at lunch since freshman year," I said. "Really, it sort of speaks volumes."

Bella was quiet for a second, biting her lip and staring at the table.

"Don't get all freaked out," Emmett said.

"He's anorexic," Bella repeated slowly, her eyes narrowing as she looked up at him. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "God, Emmett, I should deck you right here," she snapped, standing up and slamming the lid on her lunch before grabbing her bag and stalking off.

"Ah," Jasper drawled understandingly. "And here I thought she was upset about the anorexia."

"What?" I asked. He shrugged.

"She's gone all mother bear. She's pissed about how Emmett probably made Edward feel," he said with a laugh. "Hey, Emmett, you said you wanted to fight a bear, right? Looks like you might get your chance."

X

**AN**: This chapter fought me so hard you guys, I can't even. And it ended up mainly filler. Although we did introduce one pretty important person in here, and set up the next scenario. So we'll get to the flesh of that next chapter. Basically, it was getting too long and I had to break it into two parts. Le sigh.

So, thoughts? Questions? Comments? I love hearing from you guys! And thanks to my reviewers from the last chapter: **RainbowSkies**, **Hans153**, **deltagirl74**, and **Angelik** **Angel**! You guys brighten my life!


	7. The Plunge

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Six**: The Plunge

**AN**: I swear I don't know why these updates are taking so long. Sorry you guys. Anyway, since the last update this story has seen a rash of adds to favorites and alerts and that makes me really happy. Thanks to all of you for taking the time to read my story and for showing your interest!

I've decided to look for a beta for this story. If you're interested in that, details are at the bottom of this chapter.

Now, on with things, yes?

X

**EPOV**

I skipped the second half of school, not feeling up to seeing Bella in Chemistry. It was a pretty risky decision, since I had just skipped the day before and I had no one to answer my phone if the school called, so I was pretty much guaranteed to get caught.

It wasn't like my parents would pay attention for more than half a minute anyway, though.

I went to the meadow. Since the camping trips when we were younger, that spot has always had a strange draw to all of us. I'm pretty sure that's where Alice and Jasper actually fell in love. It was the place where Rosalie first won a fight against Emmett. She got grounded and we all had to go home early because she broke his nose.

For me... this is a place where I can eat. This place existed before the counting, and the hospital, and the therapists. When I'm there, I can go back and let it go. That's made it tainted, in a weird way. It used to be a happy place. Now it's like my binging corner.

Usually Emmett's comments don't get to me in the least. And I knew that Bella would have to figure out what was going on eventually - both for the general good of the group and for a better understanding our... relationship - however you would classify it. But I don't know, I guess I just wasn't ready for her to know _yet_.

I set down my bag from the convenience store I had stopped at on the way here and sat down beside it, laying back and staring up at the sky. I needed to think. I needed to come up with some idea of how I was going to approach this. By the time I went back, I needed to know how to regain control of the situation.

I heard the faint sound of an engine in the distance and sat back up, my eyes scanning the tree line. Of course I wouldn't be able to see the road from here, and it would take a few minutes for whoever it was to make their way through the woods, even if they _were_ headed this way.

I took out a bag of chips and opened them while I waited, eating absently as I kept an eye on the trees. Finally, someone stepped out. I relaxed.

"Hey," Angela said, smiling as she approached. "I thought I'd find you here."

"Why aren't you in school?" I asked, holding out the chips to her as she sat down. She shook her head at them and then shrugged.

"Why aren't you?" she returned.

"I'm sure you saw what happened at lunch," I said. Angela was odd like that. She was the type of girl people tended to overlook, which was a shame really because she was so nice that it bordered on ridiculous, but she noticed _everything_ about everyone around her.

"Bella's really turned the place upside down, hasn't she?" she asked, laughing. I grimaced. "Why didn't you tell her sooner?"

"I didn't want to drag her into it," I said. "And it's embarrassing, you know?"

"I hate to tell you, but I think she's already pretty much in it," she said, adjusting her glasses before leaning back on her hands, tilting her face towards the sun. "You know she told Jessica and Lauren off today?"

"They probably deserved it," I said, shrugging.

"She's awfully sure of her place in your group," Angela continued slowly.

"What's your point?" I asked. She shrugged.

"I'm not trying to start trouble. You know me better than that," she said. That was true enough. I didn't think Angela had ever once in her life tried to start trouble. That's why, even as a sort of fringe friend, she was trusted so much. She was also pretty much the only person I'd bet my life on to keep a secret, and she knew a lot of them. Not one of them had gotten out yet.

"So what are you saying?" I prompted. She looked at me for a second, scrutinizing me carefully before answering.

"She just got here," she said. "I mean, she's _brand_ new. She doesn't remember when Rosalie wrecked her car, or why, or how scared everyone was. She never met Royce. She doesn't remember when Emmett almost died, or what the months of rehabilitation were like for everyone. She definitely doesn't remember before, when we were all kids... I know I don't really run with you guys, but she just seems a little... too comfortable too soon, you know? And I bet it's chafing a few of the others."

"Rosalie," I said, remembering what she had yelled at Bella the day before. I'm sure if Rosalie had better control over her rage, or even cared about it, she wouldn't say half of the stuff that she does. But regardless of that, what she says is usually how she actually feels.

"It's not that I don't like Bella," Angela said. "Some of the stuff she said to Jessica and Lauren was pretty spot-on, and it needed said. Since I don't share anything that I know, I can't say it. But you may want to kind of tell her to cool her jets a little, regardless."

I nodded. She had a point. But the fact that Bella became so comfortable with us so quickly is one of the things that I liked about her.

"That aside, what are you going to do about this?" she asked as I finished the chips, crumpling the bag up and putting it back in the convenience store bag.

"I think I'm going to have a Little Debbie cake," I said, knowing full well that wasn't what she meant.

X

**BPOV**

I didn't see Edward for the rest of the day, and by the time I got home I had gone past angry and straight to worried. His car was already gone when I got to the parking lot after my last class, which I found strange since he had made such a production out of taking me to school. I just kind of assumed he planned on taking me home, too. I almost missed my bus as a result.

The upside was that it had finally stopped raining, and the sun had come out full-force, making it finally feel like Spring. I would have to figure out something to do to take advantage of it before Forks became its usual dreary self again.

I went into the house and set my bag on the kitchen table, the dishes from breakfast catching my eye. I really didn't know how Charlie had managed to keep everything so together living alone, because it didn't bother him at all to just walk off and leave things like that.

I gathered them up and started running water, letting the sink fill up as I turned over the day in my head. Edward was clearly hiding things, which seemed sort of odd to me, since he had spoken pretty candidly about everything. Or maybe he just wanted to seem that way. I couldn't even tell about that.

How well did I even know him? Or any of them, for that matter? I had only known them for a little under a week. It made sense that they would still practically be strangers. And now here I was, in some sort of strange undefined relationship with one of them.

I had gotten carried away, accepted and welcome for the first time. It had seemed natural at the time, but thinking about it now, it just seemed odd.

Still, I felt an undeniable pull to them. I couldn't place why, or how, but I had quickly become entangled with them, and I liked that. I couldn't puzzle it out.

The front door opened and shut, and after a moment Charlie came into the kitchen.

"Hey Bells," he greeted me, pausing when he saw that I was doing the dishes. "Yeah, I was going to get to those this evening."

"It's no problem," I said, shrugging.

"So Billy and Jacob might stop by later, if you're good with that," Charlie said. "Jacob's looking forward to seeing you. I think you two would hit it off. You got along well enough when you were little."

"I don't even really know Jacob," I said, shrugging again. "I mean, I guess I saw him sometimes back then, but I saw Rachel and Rebecca more, and I wasn't even close with them."

"Well, no time like the present to make a new friend, right?" he said. I sighed. "Bella, you moved here for a new start, and I don't know, but you don't really seem to be trying."

"What?" I asked. "I've been making friends. This isn't like back then."

"You're not really making friends with the best people," Charlie said.

"Dad," I said shortly. I didn't want to have this conversation again. Of course, I guess I should just be happy that he didn't know anything about me and Edward. It could be worse. "Look, you need to trust my judgement a little, okay?"

"It's not _your_ judgement I don't trust," he said gruffly. "Those kids are trouble, Bells. I feel it in my gut, and I've seen enough of it over the years."

I didn't answer, figuring that the best way to avoid the conversation would be to not take part. It was hard to be too irritated, though. Charlie was just trying to be a parent, and it wasn't like I hadn't given him plenty of reason to worry about me over the last couple of years.

I finished the dishes and turned to him, leaning back against the sink. He raised an eyebrow at me questioningly.

"So?" he asked. I sighed. It wasn't like it was going to hurt anything, and the worst that would probably happen would be that it would be massively awkward. And I didn't really have much else to do. The only homework for the day had been to read a few chapters of a book that I had already been assigned in Phoenix last year.

"When are they going to be here?" I asked. Charlie smiled at me before checking the clock over the stove.

"About five minutes, give or take," he said. I sighed.

"So there was never really a choice, was there?" I asked.

"Nope," he said. "Don't worry, Bells, you and Jacob are going to get along great."

We moved to the living room, Charlie turning on the television to watch some game as I opened my book, planning to just skim over the chapters as a refresher while we waited. I had barely gotten through a couple of pages though, when there was a knock on the door.

"That'll be them," Charlie said, standing up and heading for the door. I set my book down and followed after him, staying a step or two back, suddenly weirdly self-conscious.

Charlie opened the door and stood back to let two people through. Billy I recognized vaguely, although I had never actually seen him in his wheelchair before, and though I had to assume that the teenager pushing him was Jacob, I couldn't reconcile him with the memory I had of the boy following his older sisters around when we were little.

He had gotten _tall_, and filled out with broad muscle, baby fat shed to outline sharp features. After a second he smiled nervously, and I quickly checked myself, embarrassed to realize that I had been staring.

"Hey," I said lamely. He nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but by then Charlie was ushering us out of the door.

"It's too nice today for you guys to be cooped up with us old men," he said gruffly. "Why don't you catch up outside."

I threw him a confused look, but the door was already shutting, leaving us alone on the porch.

"Well, that was weird," I said after a second of awkward silence. Jacob laughed.

"Yeah, I think they're playing some sort of matchmaking game," he said, rolling his eyes. "You could do worse, though. I'm kind of awesome."

"And _so_ modest," I said, grinning at him. "So what are we supposed to do?"

"There's a party at First Beach," he said, shrugging. "We could check it out."

"On a Tuesday?" I asked.

"Come on, it's not like it's a rager. Actually, calling it a _party_ might be a little generous. It's mainly just a bunch of the guys hanging out." He stood up, looking towards the driveway for a second before turning back to me, grinning. "Besides, don't you want to try out your new ride?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, looking past him to the driveway, wondering what I was supposed to be seeing.

"The truck. Charlie had me rebuild it for you," he said. My eyes fell on the rusty truck parked beside the cruiser, and my throat seemed to stick. I couldn't think of what to say to that. "It's not as bad as it looks," he added quickly.

"No, it's great," I said once I had finally found my voice again. Charlie had gotten me a truck? I felt a weird sense of guilt wash over me. I had basically done nothing but lie to him since I got here - skipping school, fighting, hanging out with people he didn't like - and he got me a truck?

"You don't look too happy," Jacob said, his eyes darting back to the truck in the driveway. "Seriously, it's not much to look at, but the engine's completely rebuilt. It's solid," he said, shifting uncomfortably.

"Seriously, Jacob, it's great," I said again. "I just can't believe he did that."

"You should probably go thank him, right?" he prompted and I nodded.

Thanking Charlie could prove harder than really necessary, mostly because he's not much on emotional moments. I went into the living room and just kind of stood there for a second before moving to hug him awkwardly. His hand came up and sort of patted me on the back before I drew away.

We're not great at affection.

"Thanks, Dad," I said, smiling. "Really, it's way too much."

"No problem," he said gruffly, settling further into his chair. "You need a way to get around. This isn't Phoenix."

And that was that.

X

**APOV**

"I hate her."

I opened my eyes and stretched, enjoying the rare sunny day as I lay stretched out on the clearing leading to a cliff at First Beach.

"She's just so..." Rosalie trailed off and I sat up, staring at her expectantly. "I don't know, she just bugs me."

"_Everything_ bugs you," I pointed out. She rolled her eyes. We were waiting at the clearing for Emmett to free-climb up the rock face. I guess it wasn't enough of a thrill for him if he couldn't potentially die before he even got to jump. Jasper, Rosalie, and I drove up along the winding road instead.

"I like her," I continued when she didn't answer. She shrugged. "Emmett likes her. And Edward."

"I get it, I'm outnumbered," Rosalie said shortly. "Doesn't make her any easier to stomach."

"Some people just don't get along," Jasper said lazily, not opening his eyes. "In a group this size, it's not surprising."

I knew he was telling me to let it go, but I couldn't.

"Why is it so hard for you to get along with anyone?" I asked. Rosalie glared at me.

At that moment Emmett clamored over the edge, abruptly tripping over the his own feet and sprawling on the grass in a heap. It was pretty much a mystery to all of us how he hadn't managed to die yet.

Of course, this had been where he almost died, and it didn't seem to phase him.

I had considered it once. It was the one secret I had from Jasper. I had thought about it. If he died, I had considered coming up here, and jumping.

It's a dangerous place to jump in the best circumstances, and I can't swim.

It was a thought that shamed me. Jasper was right. It was a terrible waste, when other people were struggling to keep their life, to throw one away.

"I don't know, she's always kind of acting like we owe her or something," Rosalie was saying when I came back into focus. "Like we should all just drop everything and orient her into the group, because it's somehow our fault that she wasn't here for all of it."

"It's not her fault either though, really," Emmett said as he dusted himself off. Rosalie shot him a withering look and he grinned at her, raising his hands up in surrender.

"Still, friendships don't just happen, they take time and effort getting to know each other. It doesn't count if you just spoon-feed each other your histories. Which is why that little trade of info move was a complete cop-out," Rosalie said. Jasper sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"So you're pissed that she's just getting told things instead of what, puzzling them out herself?" I asked, wrinkling my brow. It didn't make much sense to me. We were such a close-knit group that it was pretty unreasonable to expect Bella to just pick up on the stories elsewhere, especially if we wanted her to know the real stories and not the sensationalized bad kid bullshit floating around.

"No, I'm pissed because she's really fucking rude about it, and seems to just think it's her right to demand to know everything," Rosalie clarified. That made sense, I guess. I sighed, flopping back down on the grass. Maybe Jasper was right. Maybe it was just ridiculous to expect everyone in a group to get along. Or maybe it would just take Rosalie more time.

"Why do _you_ like her?" Rosalie asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked, cocking my head to look at her again without having to sit back up.

"I mean, I get why she interested you at first, but why do you like her now that you know her more?" she said. I shrugged. I didn't really think about things like that too much. I just went along with what felt right.

"I don't know," I said finally. "First, I guess I'm just not as offended as you are about her mannerisms. It makes sense to me that she would want - or need - to know the things she does. And I just sort of feel like she fits, you know."

"I don't actually know about Bella yet," Jasper said, sitting up. "But I'm getting pretty sick of hearing about her twenty-four-seven."

I bit my lip, looking down at my hands. Jasper's nerves could run a little short when he wasn't feeling well, and even though I was usually pretty sure it wasn't actually anything I had done, I didn't want to make anything harder for him.

He sighed after a second, running his hands through his hair again.

"Sorry," he said. "Look, she's new. Give it time. In the meantime, didn't we come all the way out here for a reason?"

"Let's do this!" Emmett shouted, grabbing Rosalie's hand and hoisting her to her feet.

"It's going to be fucking freezing," she grumbled, brushing off her wetsuit and following Emmett back to the treeline.

"Suck it up or stay behind," Emmett said, grinning. Rosalie rolled her eyes and planted her feet for a second before shooting forward at a sprint, Emmett right on her heels.

They disappeared over the edge, her shrill scream and his deep bellow floating up into the air behind them.

I always thought that if I went, I'd go quietly.

Jasper reached out and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears, his eyes concerned. I forced myself to smile as we stood up and walked carefully to the edge, peering down to watch Emmett and Rosalie reappear in the churning water below.

X

**BPOV**

"Right. Whereas _I_ would say you're broadening my horizons, my mother would say you're MURDERING MY SOUL!" Embry was shouting emphatically at Quil when a sharp scream pierced the air. I whipped my head around, startled, as two shaped hurtled through the air from a cliff at the end of the beach and down, down, down to the water below. Two more shapes were at the top of the cliff, still as they stared down.

"I thought you told him no one's allowed to dive from there anymore?" Quil asked, considerably more subdued than he had been only moments before. I looked back around at everyone, noting the grim expressions on their faces.

"I did. And anyway, he should know it better than anyone," Jacob said, standing up and scanning the water as he waited for the two to resurface.

"I'm not going in after him again," Sam said, his eyes narrowed. "Crazy bastard wants to get himself killed, let him."

"Who-" I started and then broke off as first one, then the other broke the surface, swimming towards shore. It took me a second, but I finally identified them as Emmett and Rosalie. And Jacob and his friends were clearly not happy to see them.

Jacob started off across the sand to meet them and I hurried after him. I wasn't really sure why, since I didn't even know what was going on, but I started on reflex and it would've looked stupid if I had just stopped and went back to the others. Besides, even if Rosalie and I didn't particularly get along, I was friends with Emmett, right? And it would be weird for me to just ignore the fact that they were here.

"Well, speak of the devil, right?" Rosalie said as we approached them, her legs working hard to power her through the surf. She brought her hands up and pulled her hair out of her face, twisting the blonde length to wring out the excess water. Her eyes fixed on Jacob sharply. Emmett was following close behind her, his face flushed and a wolfish grin on his face.

"I thought we were clear about this," Jacob said shortly.

"You were. And I consider it excellent due warning," Emmett said. "But see, I'm not a member of the tribe, and so I don't have to abide by the rules set in place for your people. All due respect," he added quickly as Jacob's eyes flashed.

"Bella," Emmett went on, turning his attention to me. "Imagine that. Edward know you're here?"

"Edward's not my keeper," I muttered. It bothered me, his implication that I should tell Edward anything, when he had clearly not wanted to even be around me after lunch.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Rosalie muttered, turning and stalking away. "I'm heading back up," she called back to Emmett. He was still looking at me, a strange smile on his face.

"I see," he said. He surveyed me for another second before turning his attention back to Jacob. "Anyway, Alice and Jasper will be heading down to pick us up in a second. No worries, man." He shot him a grin that didn't reach his eyes. It was a strange look for Emmett, whom I had sort of begun to see as the always-laughing goofball of the group.

He turned and followed after Rosalie, not saying another word to me.

"So you and Masen, huh?" Jacob asked after a second, looking uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said quietly. The whole situation had sort of unnerved me. Even though nothing awful was said or done, the air was charged with a strange aggression, and what had previously been a pleasant evening now seemed sour and somehow off-kilter.

"You don't seem too excited about it," he said, raising his eyebrows dubiously.

"Look," he started again after a second, "I know it's not really my place, but I'm telling you, if you're having any doubts about being associated with them at all, listen to them. Those guys aren't just crazy or... weird, or whatever most people think. They're actually dangerous."

"What do you mean, dangerous?" I asked, crossing my arms against a chill that had overtaken me. It had to be in my head. It was too nice out for this.

"Just trust me on this," was all he would say. He turned and headed back to the group and after a moment I followed after him. I turned around for a second about halfway back and Emmett and Rosalie were standing at the other end of the beach, staring after me.

I didn't know what to make of this whole thing.

X

**AN**: For anyone who is actually keeping track of the playlist for this story, add "Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men for Alice and Jasper.

Now, on to the beta issue: Ideally, I'd like two, because I feel like if one set of eyes could catch every mistake and plothole, well, I wouldn't need a beta. I'm looking for betas who will check not only spelling and mechanics, but who will also try to spot inconsistencies in the storyline/characterizations. Some fact checking would be appreciated, but not necessarily required. I don't expect anyone to spend their time researching every tiny little aspect of everything ever mentioned in this story.

I also try to work fast, although the last couple of chapters don't really show that, so I'd like betas who can - barring unusual circumstances - get a chapter back to me within forty-eight hours of receiving it.

If you're interested, please PM me, and we'll figure out how to get the next chapter to you as a sort of trial. :)

So, thoughts, comments, questions? I'd love to hear from all of you! And thanks so much to my reviewers from last chapter: **Nympha Fluminis**, **Angelik Angel**, **Nellychick**, **Hans153**, **Twilighted**, and **deltagirl74**. Have I told you guys you're awesome recently? Because you are. :D


	8. Freeze and Thaw

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Seven**: Freeze and Thaw

**AN**: This chapter is going to be sort of different from the others. It's where it begins to take that darker turn I talked about earlier. Nothing in this chapter is too awful and I don't believe there are any triggering things to warrant a warning, but know that this is pretty much the turning point.

This is also the first chapter to be beta'd by my fantastic and basically awesome betas, **Hans153** and **almondgirl3**. So there's that to be excited about since it's less likely you'll be treated to any more of my "careless mistakes" as my teachers were always fond of calling them. Or large bouts of stupidity, as may be more accurate.

Moving steadily along then, here we go!

X

**APOV**

I woke up Wednesday to the blare of Jasper's alarm clock and rolled over, slapping my hand around on the bedside table until I found the snooze button. I didn't even want to open my eyes. Today was going to be hell: the first day of the first rift in years between our group. We didn't usually fight amongst ourselves-not seriously, anyway, but when we did, it was pretty bad.

Our history with the members of the Quileute tribe was a long and tumultuous one, spawned by a series of petty disagreements when we were younger that no one can even really remember today, but that nevertheless set a bitter tone to every interaction we'd have later.

During the summer after our sophomore year, Emmett somehow managed to mend things with a few of the teenagers who lived in La Push, and for a while everyone got along pretty well. But after the cliff-diving incident, things became tense again. This was largely because Sam, the oldest of the guys Emmett was running with, had warned him not to jump from that particular cliff—there were too many rocks, the current was too strong, the surf too unpredictable. There were a million reasons not to do it.

But Emmett didn't listen. He jumped, then hit the water. The tide pulled him down. His body slammed against the rocks.

The damage: One leg, broken in three places, and extensive nerve damage to his back. Sam and a couple of others finally managed to get him out.

The months after that were filled with rehabilitation on Emmett's part and a lot of stress and worry for the rest of us. Everyone immediately severed all contact with each other.

It seems cold, but I think the guys from the reservation were afraid of being blamed for it if they seemed too much like our friends.

Then, in an excellent show of bad timing, Rosalie almost killed Leah.

Since then, there's been a pretty strict no-contact understanding between our group and the members of the tribe. We haven't actually been banned from the reservation, and generally, as long as we don't cause any problems, we don't have any trouble with them. But they make it no secret that we're not welcome.

So the run-in Emmett and Rosalie had with Bella and Jacob, and Bella's apparent assertion that she didn't need to tell any of us anything, when she had been, as Rosalie insisted, demanding we tell her everything about us, rubbed part of the group the wrong way.

It hadn't been especially pretty. Rosalie and I had gotten into a pretty heated argument. Emmett had stayed completely silent through it, which actually spoke more for what he thought than when he talked. Emmett generally didn't let anything bother him, but when it did, he went all quiet and sulky.

Finally Jasper had slammed on the brakes, sending us all lurching forward until our seatbelts caught us, and twisted in his seat, his eyes cold.

"All of you... just be _quiet_," he hissed. He hadn't said anything else on the subject.

I must've been really caught up in my thoughts, because when I rolled over, I found the other half of the bed empty and the sheets cold. Jasper must have been gone for a while. I was surprised I hadn't noticed it sooner.

I pulled back the sheets, swinging my legs out of the bed and gingerly letting my bare feet hit the cold ground, looking around blearily. The door to his bathroom was open and there was no sound coming from within. I wrinkled my brow and stood up, pausing to look out his window at the driveway below to make sure his mom had left for work before leaving the room to find him.

He was curled up on the couch, his knees pulled up against his stomach. He had one arm draped over the edge of the cushion, the other bent under him. I sat down on the arm of the couch and raked my hands through his hair. He stirred, eyes fluttering, before looking up at me.

"Hey," he said, rubbing his hands over his eyes.

"I wondered where you went," I said.

I hoped this wasn't the start of the rift. Usually the days following arguments of this caliber in the group were marked by something of an angry separation, but I hoped it wouldn't start with Jasper and me. We were stronger than that... but still, I couldn't help the doubt occurring.

"I was sick all night. I didn't want to keep you up," he said, clearing his throat and sitting up, his hand coming up to rest on my thigh reassuringly.

"Today's going to be bad," I said quietly. He raised his eyes to meet mine, a look of concentration on his face.

"Yeah," he said finally.

I almost laughed, because it was just so anticlimactic for such an intense look. "We're okay, though?" I asked after a second.

He nodded. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," he said quietly, sounding guilty. "This round is just hitting me harder than usual."

"At least it's almost over," I said, running my index finger lightly over his hands, tracing the tendons and knuckles absentmindedly.

"Alice," he said quietly. "I know we've been waiting on this for a long time, but try not to get your hopes up too high." I stilled, turning to look at him, my eyes wide in alarm.

He sighed, leaning forward and moving to lace his hands together, his elbows rested on his knees. "There's a lot that can go wrong with transplants. It's the best option we have, and it's great news that it's finally happening, but if anything goes wrong, I don't want you to be too hurt by it," he said. "I'm going to keep fighting it anyway I have to, so if this doesn't work, don't let it get to you, okay?"

The illusive match and the transplant. It had been so hyped up in my mind that I hadn't even really thought about the risk that it could fail.

"If it fails..." I started quietly, fiddling with my bracelet anxiously.

"If it fails," Jasper repeated firmly, reaching up and stilling my hands, "then we'll deal with it."

He reached up and pulled me down to him, his lips meeting mine in a deep kiss that left me breathless when he released me, his hand gripping my waist lightly.

"We should get ready to go," he said. "It's almost time for class."

"I don't want to go..." I groaned, flopping over and landing across his legs.

"You're an awful influence, you know that?" he laughed. "Come on, we can't be late."

X

**BPOV**

I waited for Edward so long Wednesday morning that by the time I finally gave up and clambered into my truck, first period had already started.

I tried not to think about what it meant. Things were pretty awkward when he picked me up the day before, and he probably just didn't want a repeat of that. It didn't necessarily mean he was that upset about the day before. It probably didn't mean anything at all. After all, we had _just_ kissed. It wasn't like we were engaged or anything. I barely knew the guy.

Right.

I was checking the clock so often during first period, anxious for lunch, when I could potentially sort all of this out with Edward, that time seemed to stop. When I got to Art, however, I was confronted with another situation to distract me.

Angela, Lauren, and Jessica were at the same table, sketchbooks already out in front of them, but the chair I'd sat at the day before was missing. Just completely gone. And the tabletop in front of where the seat should've been was occupied by Jessica and Lauren's purses.

My first instinct was to brush it off. I mean, it probably wasn't personal. They weren't even looking at me.

But then I caught Angela's gaze, and she made a sort of apologetic wince and rolled her eyes towards the other two girls. The message was pretty clear: It _had_ been intentional, and while Angela may not have been all for it, she wasn't going to say anything about it, either.

Determined not to let it bother me, I made my way to a table in the corner. I didn't even like Jessica and Lauren, anyway. And yeah, I hadn't been very nice to them, either. No big loss. So I would sit at another table. It was absolutely not a big deal.

I absorbed myself in my work, trying not to let my eyes drift to their table, to not react any time they laughed over-loudly, or to feel too self-conscious being the only person in the room sitting alone in the corner.

But it drove home the reality that I was, in fact, a loner, in the very worst sense. I wasn't happy being alone, but I still pushed people away. I did it to myself.

Had that always been the problem?

I couldn't even say for sure about Phoenix. Sure, I had never really reached out to anyone. But no one else had reached out to me, either. And here...Alice had actually reached out to me. I hadn't really had to put forth any effort at all.

And even then, I was somehow creating problems. I thought about Emmett and Rosalie's words on the beach, the weird way he'd looked at me. Edward's sudden and persistent distance.

My pastel skidded across the paper, marring my picture with an angry red line. Had I done this to myself?

Maybe I _had_ come on a little strong. Maybe I was trying too hard, wanting to be a part of their circle. I was so starved for friends, I had jumped at the first chance. I just wanted to be a part of things... Was I driving them away?

I jumped when the bell rang, my eyes going to the clock quickly, barely believing it. I hadn't realized so much time had passed while I was thinking. I stood up shoved my sketchbook and pastels into my bad before hurrying towards the door, only to be cut off by Angela.

"Bella, can I talk to you?" she asked, giving me a small, guilty-looking smile. I looked past her to the crowded hallway. Suddenly I wasn't looking forward to lunch...

"Sure," I said, grateful for the stall. I followed her back to her table, Jessica and Lauren now gone.

"I'm sorry about them, really," Angela said softly. "It's just... well, you came across as a bit mean," she said, grimacing.

"I just..." I started, frowning as I tried to find a way to explain it. "It got to me, you know. Edward and the rest aren't bad people, and the stuff they were saying—"

"Is trivial, sensationalized bullshit and everyone knows it," she said, cutting me off. "I mean, yeah, Edward and them really freak people out. Most of the kids here are warned to stay away from them, that they're bad news or bad influences or whatever—"

"It's not true, though," I said.

"Yeah, I know." She laughed.

"You do?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I do," she confirmed.

"So why didn't you stand up for them?" I asked, unable to understand.

"I did," Angela said, frowning slightly. "I always remind people that they don't really know anything about them, that they're not being fair. Maybe not in the combative way that you do, but..." she shrugged, biting her lip and looking thoughtful for a second. "Bella, I'm really only saying this to help you. They're very private people. They accept the things that people are going to say about them in order to keep their privacy. It takes awhile to build trust, and friendship. If you keep it up, you're going to push them away."

I just stared at her. Was she some kind of mind reader?

"They've been through a lot, as a group. It's going to take some time for you to meld into that," she continued. "Just... calm down a little. You don't have to know everything about them right away, and _honestly_? They don't work like anyway. I know you mean well, but... like I said, it just takes time."

"How do you know all of this?" I asked.

"Oh, they've always talked to me," she said. "I've never really understood why, because we're not close. But they trust me. I don't go off half-cocked at anyone who bad mouths them. I respect their privacy and their ideals. Trust me, if you do the same, they'll open up. But you have to really mean it. Rosalie can spot insincerity a mile away."

"She's pretty intimidating," I muttered.

"She means well," Angela said. "Just like you." She checked her watch and stood up, grabbing her bag. "I've gotta run. Student government is meeting in the library. I'll see you later though!"

"Yeah," I said, nodding and following her out of the room until we split in different directions in the hallway.

X

**EPOV**

Lunch was awkward, even if it didn't seem like it at first glance. Rosalie and Emmett were pointedly not talking to Alice or Bella. Jasper wasn't talking to anyone but Alice. And as far as I could tell, Bella wasn't talking to anyone at all; although with her I couldn't be sure if she was mad or not. But since all of them would still talk to me, and Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie would talk to each other, there was plenty of conversation to distract from that.

We didn't fight often as a group—not like this anyway, and I had no idea what had happened to cause it.

The bell rang and everyone scattered, leaving Bella and me alone at the table.

"What's going on?" I asked her.

"I don't know," she said, shrugging. "I mean, I'm used to the whole Rose thing, but I have no idea why Emmett's being weird, honestly. And I don't know what's going on between them and Alice and Jasper." She opened her bag and drew out an apple. She held it out to me, quirking an eyebrow at me. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Not yet. But if you want to, I'm here. And in the meantime, you should eat something during the day. Apples are negative calories, but they're better than nothing, I guess." I looked at her questioningly. "Emmett said you count," she explained. "I assumed that meant calories."

I stared at the apple for a second before reaching out and taking it. She gave me a small smile and then shouldered her bag, walking past me to the door.

"Wait," I said, standing up so fast that I nearly upset my chair. Now that I knew we weren't going to have the conversation I'd been dreading, I didn't want to avoid her anymore. She turned, her hand coming up to push her hair from her face.

"Yeah?" she said.

"Yeah, I mean, we're going to the same place," I said, shrugging. "I'll go with you."

She smiled and nodded, waiting for me to gather my books and follow her.

"So what happened while I was gone yesterday?" I asked. "I mean, with the rest of you. Something big had to have happened."

"I really don't know," Bella answered, shrugging. "After school, my dad wanted me to hang out with a family friend and while we were in La Push we ran into Emmett and Rosalie. There was some tension there, but I don't know if that's what's caused all of this. I didn't even see Alice and Jasper there."

"You were on the res?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. She nodded.

"Jacob Black's dad, Billy, is my dad's best friend," she explained. "We were hanging out with a bunch of his friends at First Beach."

Well, that made sense at least. There was pretty much only one reason Emmett and the others would be in La Push, and if they ran into Jacob Black, that could cause problems. But I didn't know how it had managed to create problems between _all_ of us. We stopped outside of the Chem lab door to finish the conversation before going in.

"Emmett was acting really weird," Bella continued, frowning a little. "Or, I _think_ he was. I've never seen him like that, anyway. But there wasn't a fight or anything, so I don't know... You really should eat."

That last part took me by surprise and for a second I couldn't figure out what she was talking about.

"I don't need you to regulate my food," I said, tossing the apple in the air and catching it. She shrugged.

"I'm not," she said, not breaking eye contact with me. "I've decided I'm not pushing any of you for anything anymore. I was just thinking out loud."

"What led to that?" I asked.

"Angela talked to me after Art," she said. "She basically told me to calm down a bit. It made sense."

"Angela's pretty smart," I said neutrally. Bella just kept staring at me. I sighed and took a bite of the apple, chewing hard. "Happy?" I asked after I swallowed.

"Yup," she said, grinning as we turned into the Chem lab. "So where'd you go yesterday?" she asked as we took our seats. I thought about it for a second. I didn't want her to know about the meadow yet. I couldn't explain that one, but it didn't quite feel right.

"I'll show you someday," I said instead. She looked like she was about to argue, but decided against it, nodding. I hadn't realized that I had tensed until my body relaxed. I guess she was serious about the not pushing thing. That was something.

X

**BPOV**

I made my way out to my truck after school, breathing a sigh of relief as I stepped out of the school.

That all could have gone worse, I guessed. Emmett and Rosalie were clearly not talking to me, but Edward and I were back on semi-good footing. Alice hadn't seemed mad at me. Jasper... Jasper was quiet as usual, so I didn't actually know where we stood. But still, it was much better than I had expected.

I unlocked the door, slinging my bag into the passenger's seat before grabbing the wheel to hoist myself in. Before I had even lifted my foot, though, someone called my name and I spun around, surprised.

Rosalie was standing next to Emmett by the Jeep about forty feet away. His arms were crossed and he was shaking his head warily. I almost looked around to see if someone else had called out, sure that it couldn't have actually been Rosalie, but she was looking dead at me. Emmett said something, his eyes narrowed at her, his usual booming voice completely inaudible, and after a second she raised a finger at me, motioning for me to wait a second before turning to answer him.

I waited anxiously for a moment before Emmett said something short and opened the Jeep door, climbing in and speeding off after a second, leaving Rosalie standing there alone. She turned and started heading towards me and I tensed instinctively. I couldn't imagine this being anything good.

"Hey, Rose..." I said nervously as she reached me.

She nodded tensely. "I need a favor," she said without preamble. "You don't have to do it, and I'd understand if you don't want to, but it's important." She sighed, sounding for all the world like it took literally everything in her to be nice. "And I think it'll help you and I understand each other a little better."

"Aren't you mad at me?" I asked hesitantly.

She nodded. "Yeah," she said. "But you don't know why, do you?" she asked.

I shook my head and apologized on cue. "Sorry," I said automatically.

"Well, if you do this favor, I think you'll understand it a little more," she said, shrugging me.

"What do you need?" I asked.

"A ride to Port Angeles," she said.

I thought about it. I hadn't told Charlie that I would be late coming home, and even with Jacob's assurance that the truck was solid, I had never taken it that far, and I was a little worried.

"I would, Rose, _honestly_. But I don't know if the truck can handle it," I said, trying for a second to look super-apologetic before I remembered what Angela said about Rosalie spotting insincerity and dialing it back quickly. She nodded and then deftly reached into the cab, popping the release on the hood and then walking to the front of the truck. "What are you doing?" I asked nervously.

"Checking out your engine," she said, shooting me a look that said it should have been obvious as she twisted her hair back into a ponytail.

"You know about cars?" I asked, unable to quell the curiosity bubbling up. She made an affirmative sound in the back of her throat as she lifted the hood. She froze, glancing between the engine and the body dubiously.

"These are new parts," she said finally. I nodded.

"Jacob Black rebuilt it?" I said, unsure of how she would react to me mentioning him after the incident at First Beach.

She nodded. "Then it's solid," she said simply, slamming the hood shut again. "It'll make it, if you want to go."

I bit my lip, still unsure. On the one hand, I wasn't sure if it was okay for me to just take off for Port Angeles, and I knew if I called Charlie and told him I wanted to go with Rosalie, he'd say no. But Rosalie seemed to be offering a sort of olive branch, and I got the feeling that she didn't do that often.

"Just let me call my dad," I said, reaching into my pocket for my phone. She nodded.

Charlie picked up on the first ring.

"Bells?" he answered. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I said quickly, surprised by his greeting. "I was invited to go to Port Angeles this evening, and I just wanted to run it by you first."

"Why Port Angeles?" he asked, his voice returning to its normal gruff quality.

"Um..." I cast around for a reason that didn't involve Rosalie or any of them. "Jessica Stanley asked me to go with her. Shopping," I said, settling on the first name that popped into my head. Rosalie let out a quiet laugh, shaking her head. Better than the disgusted look she usually gave me, I guess.

"Alright," Charlie said after a moment. "Be careful and be home early. I don't want you out late; you don't know the area that well."

"Will do," I said. "Thanks, Dad."

"Right. See you at home," he said, and after a second the phone beeped, ending the call. He was as abrupt on the phone as he was in person.

"Okay," I said, putting the phone back into my pocket and climbing into the truck, leaning over to unlock the passenger door. "So, why Port Angeles?"

"We're going to visit a friend," Rosalie said simply.

"I know you don't like me asking questions," I said carefully. "But given that I'm going all the way to Port Angeles for you, don't you think you could make an exception and just tell me?"

Rosalie seemed to consider it for a moment as she buckled her seatbelt and I shifted into drive, carefully pulling out of the school parking lot.

"About two year years ago, Emmett and I were friends with a bunch of the guys from La Push." She looked over at me, her expression hard to read. "This was before we were dating, by the way." She looked away before continuing, staring at the dashboard. "Emmett was really the one who was friends with the guys. I only actually got along with one girl: Leah." She looked back at me expectantly. "I think Seth was at the beach yesterday? Well, Leah's his older sister."

I nodded. I had been introduced to Seth, but I couldn't quite pick him out of the group.

"Anyway, Leah was a lot like me. She was harsh, vocal, angry... But she had a different reason. She was heartbroken," Rosalie said. "Her boyfriend cheated on her. It was this whole big mess, but that's another story altogether.

"When I met Leah, it was still fresh. We took this weird comfort in each other's anger and hurt. It made us both feel more... normal, I guess. Less alone."

I hadn't really thought about it before, since Rosalie was part of them to me; she was clearly part of the group while I was outside of it. But I could imagine that being angry and combative all of the time would leave a person pretty lonely.

But everyone seemed to accept it of her— Or that was what I had thought, but that couldn't actually be true, could it?

"Anyway, we got into a fight one night, and it's weird—but I don't even remember what it was over. We were both so wrapped up in our own anger all of the time that it probably wasn't even anything big. We were both just ready to blow any time. And that night... we both did. I got in my car and drove away, which left Leah stranded on the beach. I didn't think about it. To get back to her house she cut through the woods. And the timing was just so that when I came around a bend, she was in the middle of the road."

A shiver ran down my spine, and suddenly I didn't want her to finish the story. This was a mistake.

"_They're dangerous_," Jacob had said. Was this what he had been talking about?

"I hit her. I tried not to—but I hit her. I swerved, slammed on the brakes. The brakes locked up, and I clipped her—_just_—but, you know... a person against a car... The car skidded and I hit a tree," she said. "Luckily..." She stopped, then sighed, before continuing. "Or luckily, I guess, it depends on how you look at it; I was able to walk away from it."

"And Leah?" I asked quietly.

"She got hit by a _car_, Bella," Rosalie said sharply.

"Well, you said we were going to see her, so I figure she didn't die," I defended. She clenched her jaw, staring out the window as we merged onto the highway.

"No," she said. "She's been in a coma since then."

"So why are we going to see her?" I asked. Rosalie shrugged.

"Don't you think I owe her that?" she asked, her tone clipped and harsh.

"I don't know," I said quietly. "I'm not exactly a moral compass."

Rosalie surprised me by laughing suddenly, turning back to me and surveying me with her sharp eyes.

"You know what, Bella?" she said, furrowing her brow seriously. "You may be alright after all."

"Thanks," I said, laughing. "You too."

"But I haven't decided for sure yet," she clarified.

"Of course." I rolled my eyes.

I wanted to ask her about her exchange with Emmett earlier in the parking lot back at school, and the way he had left, and even the incident at the beach. But I didn't want to push this uneasy sort of truce we had seemed to have reached, so I just kept driving, the two of us riding in silence.

X

Hospitals have always bothered me. The harsh, stinging antiseptic smell, the heavy atmosphere, the beeping of machines and monitors... It's like they've designed it to make you more uncomfortable with each and every step you take.

Rosalie went into the room before me, heading for the bed. I hovered by the door awkwardly, feeling like I was intruding on a private moment.

The figure in the bed looked small, overwhelmed by tubes and needles, swimming in a loose hospital gown. It was clear that she had visitors often: a few flower arrangements were scattered around the room, but they did little to liven up the drab, institutional room.

Leah was a pretty girl, with thick shining black hair and strong, defined features. It took me by surprise. I don't know what I had been expecting. I guess I thought she'd look sick or injured. But any physical injuries she had suffered in the wreck must have long since healed, because she just looked like she was sleeping. It was somehow unnerving. Like Sleeping Beauty pulled straight from her tower and plopped into a hospital bed.

Rosalie sat there for a while, muttering quietly to her every now and then. I turned away, feeling like I was intruding on something somehow sacred. I slid down to the floor, my back against the wall, out of the way of the bustling hospital staff and visitors to wait.

I turned over what Rosalie had told me in my head. It really _did_ sound like an accident. But then I thought about what Edward had said about her breaking Emmett's arm. How ready she was to fight me in Mike's basement. This was so much bigger.

"_They're dangerous_."

And this whole thing: could Rosalie really go from freezing me out completely to opening up and be sincere about it? Or was she just using me because she needed a ride? It seemed like too much to hope that it was Angela's advice in effect already, even if I _had_ been sincere and made it a point not to pry...

I was staring blankly at the wall opposite me when the sound of footsteps pulled me out of my thoughts and back to the now as Rosalie finally came out of the room. I looked up to see her grim face.

"Do you think she's any better?" It was all I could think to say. Rosalie looked at me, her eyes oddly blank.

"No," she said finally, her voice strangely quiet and strained. She didn't elaborate, but simply turned and walking towards the elevators as I scrambled to my feet, hurrying after her.

What had I gotten myself into with this group?

X

**AN**: So yeah, not a LOT darker, but definitely a bit of a turn there, right? Right? Eh, if you don't see it now, you'll see it soon enough.

I was asked after last chapter if I would be writing from EmPOV or RPOV. The short answer is no, not unless something big happens that really, really needs it and the story can't be told without it. Basically, Emmett and Rose are such volatile and/or angry characters that writing from their POV - or even reading from their POV - would just be way too much. Just, all over, way too much to deal with. Sorry if you were looking forward to that, but I have to be honest, I just don't see it happening.

Anyway, thanks so much for reading! And thanks to everyone who took the time to review the last chapter: **Hans153**, **HEYO**, **Twilighted**, **deltagirl74**, **Angelik Angel**, and **Nellychick**. Remember how I said you were all awesome? I still mean it. :3


	9. Keepsakes

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Eight**: Keepsakes

**AN**: Through this story I've been toying with the idea of taking you guys back to when these guys were little, but every time I've tried, it didn't work out. Well, we're finally there. Which is good news for** Twilighted**, who just so happened to request it after I had started writing it, matter-o-fact. We also get to see some more JPOV, because I've been neglecting the poor guy recently. So that's cool. And of course we take a few more steps down the dark and twisted path.

But rather than tell you all about it, I'm sure you'd rather I just start the chapter, yes? Yes.

Thanks, as always, to all of you who have taken the time to read my little story, and for the favorites and alerts added since last update. And so, so much thanks to my awesome and ridiculously thorough and dedicated betas, **almondgirl3**, **Faith212**, and **Hans153**.

X

**JPOV**

"M&Ms?" Alice asked.

"Two hundred and forty," Edward answered dully.

"What about_ one_ M&M?" Alice grinned.

"About four," Edward said before swatting at Alice blindly. "Hey—Stop it." Edward looked away from the road for a second to glare at her.

"It's not my fault. You know, you could just not answer." Alice shrugged as she poured out a handful of her M&Ms, popping one in her mouth. "Four." Another. "Eight." Another. "Sixteen."

"Twelve," I said automatically and she shrugged.

"You have _got_ to make up with Rose," Edward told her as he turned into the school parking lot. "I can't take much more of this."

Edward had come to pick both of us up after I'd woken up that morning with double vision. I didn't want to at first, given the early hour, but it wasn't worth wrecking and killing both of us. Alice could drive Edward crazy at times, because when she got bored she liked to play the "How Many Calories Are In Random Shit" game. He didn't like the game, but he couldn't stand not to answer her.

"I will make up with Rose... when she stops being such a cunt," Alice informed him crisply as she popped another M&M into her mouth. Edward muttered something about it being sixteen now, but she just ignored him. "So why didn't we pick Bella up?"

"She has her truck now," Edward said shortly.

"Yeah, you know that_ now_," Alice muttered, rolling her eyes. "But what about yesterday?"

"Yesterday is over," Edward said, said with a grin, knowing that vague answers were just the type of thing that usually drove Alice crazy.

"Fine, don't tell me about it," she said, shrugging. "Lasagna."

Edward pulled the car into a parking spot, and glared at her, tensing his jaw. She just grinned back. "About three hundred," he finally answered grudgingly, his eyes still narrowed. Alice, never one to be deterred, just laughed, which only made it worse.

She'd been doing this almost as long as I could remember, although in the very beginning, when we first met, he hadn't started calorie counting yet. In a way, the five of us actually met because of his food issues. At that age though, he just counted individual pieces of food.

My mom always took me to the park on Wednesdays; kindergarten let out at noon, and a bunch of the parents took the kids to unwind afterward and encourage "healthy socialization". What I didn't know at the time was that it was actually more about "healthy socialization" between the single parents. Elizabeth - Miss Lizzy, as we called her then, since the best any of us could come up with for her whole name was "Liz'beth" - used to take Edward, as well, even though she and his father were married. But he worked out of town a lot back then, before something happened and she threatened to leave him if he didn't start working from home. That's a different story for a different time though. And anyway, no one's too clear on the details, although it's not too hard to guess.

I had never spoken to Edward. He was a quiet little kid, and well, honestly? He was a little weird. He didn't like to play Cowboys and Indians, or Red Rover, or anything. Elizabeth packed him a snack, and he spent most of his time sitting at the picnic tables, sorting and re-sorting the food.

Like I said. Weird.

I didn't pay him much attention at all, actually, until one day he threw the most spectacular tantrum I had ever seen in my young life. And that was how I first met Alice.

I looked around, startled, and that moment of distraction made me "it", but I couldn't even focus on the game anymore. It didn't add up. Edward was quiet. I would have bet that I hadn't heard him speak more than five words total at that point. And there he was, screaming and crying by his picnic table as a small girl with long, black hair backed away, looking startled.

A bunch of the parents rushed over, and I saw a woman with shining, black hair like the little girl walk towards her and grab her arm, squeezing her wrist to make her open her hand. I moved closer to see what was going on, and saw that sitting in the middle of her tiny palm was an animal cracker, its head broken off into little crumbs.

"Honestly, Alice, what am I going to do with you?" the woman sighed, taking the cracker from her and handing it back to Edward. He instantly stopped screaming, taking it and sitting it next to the others lined up on the table. "I'm so sorry," the woman said to Miss Lizzy, her eyes wide. "I tell her all the time not to take things that aren't hers."

"It's fine," Miss Lizzy said, her eyes drifting over the lined up animals as Edward moved the damaged cracker from spot to spot. It was pretty much impossible to tell which animal it had been. Miss Lizzy looked worried, but I didn't really see the big deal.

The adults continued talking and Alice wandered away, her face screwed up like she was going to cry.

"Hey!" I called out, running after her. She stopped and turned to me, showing the tears that were starting to trail down her face.

She took a deep, gasping breath and I took a step back, alarmed. But all she managed to choke out was: "I would have given it back!"

"Oh." That was all I could think to say to that. "Well..."

"I didn't even want it that bad!"

"Okay," I said, nodding. I was ready to agree with anything she said to calm her down. But it was really odd; it didn't make much sense to me, and that made me nervous. I rubbed my neck, avoiding her gaze as I tried to think of what I should say next. "Then why'd you take it?" I finally asked, at a complete loss.

She shrugged, staring at the ground. She dug the toe of her Mary Janes into the dirt, unearthing a rock that she pushed around in the dirt for a second. "He's going to hate me," she said after a moment, her voice much quieter this time.

"Who cares?" I said, shrugging. "It's Edweird."

"_Ed_weird?" She repeated it quietly, trying it out.

"Yeah... he's weird."

She let out a soft, hiccupping laugh and reached up to wipe her eyes. "I'm Alice," she said, smiling proudly, like her name was some sort of accomplishment.

"I'm Jasper."

"That's a weird name." She laughed again. I nodded; I was pretty used to that. "I like it, though."

For the rest of the day, Alice stayed close to me. I don't know why, but she stuck to me like glue. And Mom swears that all I would talk about at dinner that night was Alice.

"An' she has this really long black hair an' she laughs a lot. I think she's probably really nice too; she seems really nice. An' she's really_ really_ pretty too—But not when she cries. She shouldn't ever _ever_ cry," I proclaimed seriously.

Even now, sometimes when Mom's in a good mood, or she thinks I'm talking about Alice too much, she says that in this exaggerated kid voice, imitating me from back then.

And that was how it began. That was how our little group started.

The next week, Alice brought a bag of Skittles to give to Edward, like a rainbow-colored white flag. She sat at the picnic table with him and helped him separate them by color. The groups had to be even, so Edward let her pocket the extras. And from then on, when Alice would play with the rest of us, Edward did, too.

I don't know; maybe he had a crush on her back then. It hasn't been an issue since we've gotten older, so I've never asked. Maybe he just wanted someone to treat him like he wasn't completely batshit insane for sorting his food the way he did.

It wasn't until a few months later that Rose and Emmett entered the picture. Rose pushed Emmett off of the jungle gym and he fell directly onto Alice, knocking the wind out of her. She seemed relatively unharmed, considering their difference in size, just surprised. He helped her up and brushed her off - a gesture that actually looked more like he was beating out a rug - and then proudly introduced Rose as his best friend. I knew them from kindergarten, but she hurt him so often that I never would've called them friends in a million years.

It's hard to say how any of us went from that, to friends, and now to where we are today. But any time I try to remember how it happened, I come back to those stories.

Truth be told, even though I didn't realize it at the time, it's probably also when I fell in love with her.

Alice: the girl who liked my name and stole animal crackers for no reason.

X

Lunch was an awkward sort of celebration.

Alice was happy because we had gone two days in a row without being kicked out of English. Although, that was probably only due to the fact that Rose and Emmett were still pointedly not talking to us, which made it a little harder to disrupt the class.

Edward seemed happy because Rose and Bella were getting along, although none of us could figure out why. And that was awkward because Emmett was making it no secret he wasn't happy about it, and because Alice wasn't talking to Rose, and she'd been the only person consistently standing up for Bella since she got here.

And Rose seemed happy because she was clearly getting to Emmett and Alice by being nice to Bella. That was just awkward for everyone. Period.

In my mind, whether she meant it or not, Bella was the source of this mess. I really didn't think she had any sort of malice in her. She wasn't like Rose, who seemed to give no thought to who she pissed off or hurt; or like Emmett, who just plain enjoyed fucking with people. But still, it was pretty obvious that all of these problems had started when she arrived. To her credit though, she seemed to have calmed her shit a lot over the last few days. But for me, the jury was still pretty much out on her.

The bell rang to signal the end of lunch and Bella pulled a baggy of baby carrots from her bag and slid them towards Edward. He rolled his eyes but took them without saying anything. That was interesting.

If she could get Edward to eat, maybe her being here wouldn't be so bad. Once everyone got used to her, anyway.

X

**BPOV**

I was quiet as Edward and I made our way through the crowded halls after lunch. It seemed stupid after worrying so much about Rosalie not liking me; but now that she was being nice to me, it was somehow more unnerving. It felt like I was being circled by a shark. A ridiculously pretty shark with perfect blonde hair.

I had considered asking Edward about the whole situation, but it hadn't escaped me that this could be a test. Maybe Rosalie told me everything she did to see if I would blab. But when I thought about it, it wasn't like she let me in on some huge secret. Jacob could have just as easily told me about the accident. Or Charlie. The police would have been involved in that, wouldn't they? Come to think of it, why _hadn't_ either of them told me about it?

In the end, I figured it would just be best to keep my mouth shut and hope that she really was just trying to open up a bit more. Or just using me for a ride. That possibility was a little sadder, but it wouldn't surprise me.

"Is there a gathering tomorrow?" I asked Edward once we had taken our seats.

"Hmm?" He was peering into the bag of carrots, looking thoughtful, like he was sizing them up. "Oh... Yeah. Newton's again."

"Is it ever anywhere else?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, it just a sort of force of habit thing. When it was a smaller group sometimes they met up in the woods. But when winter rolled around and it started getting dark earlier, they moved it to Newton's. Then when the group got bigger, they just stayed there. We specified the location in the beginning, and it just kind of stuck." He finally selected a carrot and took a bite of it.

"Why that carrot?" I asked.

He finally looked up at me, his expression amused. "Why does it matter?"

"Just curious." I shrugged. It was hard to gauge whether I was being nosy or not; I was used to voicing any question I had without thought.

"Because it's the odd one," he said after a second.

"What?"

"There are five short wide ones, and five long thin ones." He held the bag up to show me. "This one is in the middle, and it's the only one like it, so it has to go."

"That's sort of weird," I said before I could stop myself.

"It is, yeah." Edward nodded. "Probably why Jasper called me Edweird until we were nine."

"He did not." I tried not to laugh.

Edward nodded, his smile brighter than usual. "I think the last couple of years were just out of habit, though."

"Well, that makes it better," I said, watching Edward shrug slightly before turning his attention back to the carrots. "So... this is more of a patterns and numbers thing?" I asked hesitantly; I wasn't sure if I was about to step over a line.

"Pretty much," he said simply. "The numbers are actually pretty arbitrary. But once I pick them, I can't change or ignore them."

"Sounds more like OCD..."

"It is. The actual... term..." he seemed uncomfortable then, his tone dropping and his eyes darting to the door as other students started filing in. "It's the symptom, not the cause."

We were quiet for a moment while I tried to think of something else to say, preferably on some other subject. It probably wasn't a good idea to continue with this one in a classroom full of people, especially with how uncomfortable Edward had suddenly seemed when they came in.

"Do you want to maybe... hang out or something this evening?" I asked. I felt myself blush and cursed inwardly.

After a moment, he spoke: "I can't." He shifted in his chair. "I have plans."

I waited, but he didn't offer any more information, and I didn't want to pry, so I decided to just leave it.

"Okay," I finally said, shrugging and opening my Chemistry book as the class started. It was ridiculous to get my feelings hurt from this. Edward hadn't been mean, and he really didn't owe me any sort of explanation. But it was confusing, this habit of connecting and then retreating Edward and I seemed to have developed.

"I'll be at the gathering, though."

"What?" I asked, pulling myself out of my thoughts, not sure I heard him right.

"The gathering," he repeated. "We can hang out there. And after, if you want. I just really can't do it tonight."

I nodded, my nerves calmed considerably. Even if it was silly to be worried about it in the first place, his words were still reassuring.

X

**APOV**

Hanging out with Edward in the evening can be boring. Unless we're actually doing something, he pretty much spends his time on the treadmill in his basement. And after his backslide into binging Tuesday, he just wasn't willing to miss it today.

"Why aren't you with Jasper?" he asked after a few minutes of running with me staring at him. I rolled over so that I was lying with my back on the sofa cushion, my feet braced against the back and my head hanging over the edge. He rolled his eyes, which had an interesting twitchy affect with him running full-out.

"He has labs this evening. They're getting ready to up the chemo even more to kill his bone marrow." I grimaced; it was a gruesome thought.

Edward just nodded and kept running. I tried to think of something to say, something good enough to justify me being here. But mainly I just hated being alone.

The sound of the doorbell surprised us both, and Edward stumbled, barely regaining his balance before he would have slammed his face into the treadmill control panel. I snickered, my strange position causing me to cough a little, sobering me. It probably wouldn't have been funny if it had actually happened, but the little hopping maneuver he had to pull to avoid it was.

We both stared at the ceiling as the sound of footsteps echoed down and then the muffled sound of Elizabeth talking to someone reached us.

Edward grimaced as Emmett's loud voice echoed down. It wasn't clear what he was saying, but it was very distinctly Emmett. His heavy footsteps pounded across the ceiling and then the door to the basement opened and he came rushing down.

"Hey man," he said, nodding to Edward and turning toward the couch I was draped over. He stopped short, his expression falling for a second. "Alice." He sounded uncomfortable now.

"Emmett." I was doing my very best to glare at him from my upside-down position.

"Okay... enough," Edward said from the treadmill between puffing breaths. "What the hell... is going on?"

"Oh, you know, just Alice being Alice, throwing everything anyone's ever considered acceptable out the window to protect the meek and stupid." Emmett sneered at me. I tried to ignore his jab; he could turn pretty nasty when the sulky phase of his anger was over.

"I don't know; I don't think Bella's meek at all." I was careful to keep my voice calm. "And she's not stupid. At least, I don't think she is... Anyway, I just don't think it's right to punish someone for doing something they couldn't have possibly known was wrong. Besides, she doesn't have anything against the res guys. So..." I trailed off, spreading my hands in a bit of a shrug. I don't think it really came off very well, inverted as I was.

"You know that's not the point," he shot back.

"I actually don't know what it is your point's supposed to be," I said. Emmett paused, clearly turning over the awkward phrasing in his head. "You heard me," I added before he could call me out on it.

"Did you two just turn up here to fight with each other?" Edward cut in. "Because I've gotta tell you, I really don't care about your little argument. It's stupid."

"Harsh," Emmett said, his voice low; he seemed to be joking, though.

Edward sighed and turned off the treadmill, slowing to a walk before finally stepping off. "Why_ are_ you here?" he asked after a second. He wasn't used to people interrupting his exercise ritual, I guess.

"Rose. She's driving me crazy. You know she went to Port Angeles yesterday?" Emmett said. "With Bella," he added, almost as an afterthought.

I sat up, gaping at him.

"What?" Edward asked. "Why would she take Bella?"

"I wouldn't take her," Emmett answered with a shrug.

Figured. This was a long-standing disagreement between the two of them, going back to before they were even officially a couple. Emmett didn't think any good could come of her going there; we had done enough damage already. Rose, though. She felt like she owed it to Leah.

"Rose shouldn't use Bella that way," Edward said, grabbing his water bottle off the table and drinking deeply before speaking again. "I mean, if she's going to be mad at her the rest of the time, she shouldn't be nice to her just because she wants something."

"Edward, please," I scoffed before I could stop myself. They both turned to look at me expectantly. "Well, come on—I don't think any of us actually believe Rose would be _way_ nicer or anything just to get something. She was probably just as blunt as always."

"Still..." Edward said, furrowing his brow.

"I think we're missing the point, here," Emmett said. "I refused to take her to Port Angeles so she got _Bella_ to do it."

"Was she trying to threaten her?" I asked, confused. "It's not exactly a severed horse head in the bed, but..."

"No, she probably just thought Bella would be willing to do it." Emmett shook his head. "She visits Leah a lot."

"Then what..." I started, trailing off at the dark look he gave me. My heart jumped into my throat. "You think she's going to figure it out?"

Emmett shrugged. Edward leaned back against the bars of the treadmill and frowned, twisting the cap on and off of the water-bottle.

"I think you're way off base," Edward said finally.

"She _is_ pretty nosy..." Emmett argued.

"No." Edward rolled his eyes, his pent-up frustration escaping a little. "You both know I don't think there's anything more to the story than what Rose told us."

Emmett and I exchanged a dark look. Edward shook his head and set the bottle down before stepping back onto the treadmill and adjusting the incline.

It was a touchy subject in the group, and one that we were pretty ashamed of. We all wanted to believe that Rose hadn't hit Leah on purpose. Really, we did.

But the reality was that we were torn pretty evenly— Jasper and Edward believed her. Emmett and I weren't sure.

One thing was for sure: It was one part of our past that_ no one_ could possibly want Bella involved in.

X

**JPOV**

I went straight to Alice's house after I got back from having my labs done. There wasn't any real news, good or bad, to speak of—same as every other week. But my mom wasn't home and I was actually feeling better than I had all week, so I figured I'd better take advantage of it and be social.

I knocked, mindful of her mom's car in the driveway. She liked me, but unlike Alice she wasn't cool with any of us just waltzing into her house. I guess that's normal, though.

"Jasper," Ms. Brandon greeted me, smiling warmly. "Come on in." She stepped aside to let me in the house and shut the door behind me. "Alice isn't home yet, but she should be back soon." She eyed me up and down sympathetically for a second. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm actually feeling pretty well, thanks," I said, causing her to beam at me. Alice once told me that the reason her mom had always liked me is because I was so polite when I talked to her. It wasn't something I had ever given much thought to-it was just how I was raised. But now I noticed her reaction every time.

"I'm glad to hear it," she said. "You can wait for Alice upstairs if you want, I know you probably don't want to hang out with me."

I nodded. One of the perks of growing up with Alice was that our parents weren't as uptight about us being in each other's rooms.

"Door open!" she called after me as I climbed the steps.

Hey, I said they weren't _as_ uptight. Not that they were stupid.

I grabbed a book from Alice's bookshelf and flopped down on the bed, opening it to a random spot in the middle. Alice and I traded books back and forth, so I had read all of hers already. Some of them, like this one, were even mine.

It was the fifth book in the "Gone" series. We had first started trading the series back and forth in our freshman year. It wasn't really my sort of thing, but Alice had taken to it like crazy. I mainly read them for the notes she wrote in the margins before she gave them back to me. Each book was so well-worn that even as paperbacks they laid open on their own, the spines cracked and creased. It wasn't long before she took each one back, wanting to reread them.

_People didn't know it, but Orc could still cry. They all figured he couldn't... No, that wasn't true; they didn't figure anything. They never saw anything but a monster made out of gravel. He couldn't blame them._

Beside that, Alice had written, _Oh, fuck anyone who messes with Orc. Poor guy just lost his best friend and everyone's just acting like it doesn't matter. Could you imagine?_

I couldn't. I couldn't imagine losing any of the people close to me. Alice had though.

Before she moved here, her father died; he was an officer in the Marines. They moved here to be closer to her paternal grandmother, but just a few years later she died, as well.

After a few minutes I shifted, trying to get comfortable, and knocked the book off the bed. When I leaned over to pick it up, something metallic caught my eye from underneath the bed.

Alice's "shiny box".

Tossing the book aside, I dropped to the floor, pulling it into the light. I hadn't seen this thing in _years_.

No bigger than a child's shoebox, it was where Alice put everything she took when she was younger until someone asked for it back. The last time I'd seen it, it had held her father's Purple Heart (until her mother noticed it missing from the mantle), a pack of crayons with a built-in sharpener, three animal crackers (which Alice had, for some reason, taken to snatching from people after she'd been forced to give Edward's back), her grandmother's glass rosary (that Alice had taken directly from the casket which led to her being banned from the church), and three hand-blown glass beads whose story she couldn't even remember.

Over time though, it had become more of a keepsake box—not just anything made it into the shiny box anymore. There were rules now, which is why opening it made me feel a little guilty. It was one thing to take a look when it had just been random stuff, but now that it was more important and sentimental, it felt a lot more like prying.

I lifted the lid and my mouth fell open when I saw what was inside.

Everything was mine.

None of it was important or the least bit valuable; I mean, I hadn't even noticed any of it was missing. But it was all mine.

There was the belt buckle I had bought when my family went to Texas for summer vacation last year—I'd liked it at the time, but only wore it once or twice. She also had about a dozen pictures of us, some even from the meadow when we were kids. Some were hers; some still bore the tack mark from where they had been pinned to the cork board in my room.

She had taken the tour shirt from my first concert: the Pistolas. I'd outgrown it when I was thirteen, but I hadn't been able to bring myself to throw it out; I'd worn it the whole summer between sixth and seventh grade. And that was when I'd finally told Alice I loved her. She'd just beamed at me and said, "I've been waiting for you to realize that for a long time," and then kissed me.

There were dozens of other little things: ticket stubs from movies we'd seen together, receipts from things she'd bought when we were out together; there was even an almost-empty bottle of my cologne.

"Don't be freaked out."

I jumped, slamming the lid back onto the box; my heart pounded against my ribs.

Alice was standing in the doorway, her face red and her eyes wide with worry.

"I'm not freaked out," I said. "You scared the shit outta me, but I'm not freaked out." She bit her lip, looking at me doubtfully. "No. I mean, I'm not freaked out about this. You just scared me when you came in is all," I said, trying to clarify it even as it was starting to confuse me. "Just... why?" I motioned to the box.

She muttered something that I couldn't catch. I motioned for her to sit beside me, and she moved slowly, as though afraid I was going to suddenly lose it.

"What?" I said once she had settled onto the bed.

She shrugged. "It's... in case," she said.

I leaned back, resting my head on her headboard. "In case," I repeated dully, turning her the words over in my mind. I knew Alice was scared. But I hadn't known it was so bad that she had started hoarding things that she saw as part of me.

"You know..." She looked uncomfortable.

I nodded. I did know. "I love you." It was all I could think to say sometimes. I smiled at her. "No matter how weird you get."

She laughed, visibly relaxing. "It's been a long day," she said after a second.

"It's been a long_ week_."

We were quiet for a second and then she asked, "How are your labs?"

"Not good, not bad," I said, shrugging. It was the story of my life since the diagnosis. "Comme ci, comme ça," I added, smiling at her and trying to lighten the news.

I didn't want Alice to put all of her hopes on the transplant, but the truth was, all of my hopes were hanging on it too.

And I didn't know how much longer I could do this.

X

**AN**: Credit where credit's due: The "Gone" series is the property of Michael Grant. On a fun note, the last book in the series drops Tuesday (April 2). I highly recommend the series to anyone who's a fan of dystopian/sci-fi novels. They were described as "If Stephen King wrote 'Lord of the Flies'" and that's pretty accurate. Wonderfully twisted.

If anyone's keeping track of the playlist for this story, go ahead and add "Not Your Fault" by AWOLNATION (Em/R), "In the Sun" by Joseph Arthur (J/A), "Bend and Not Break" by Dashboard Confessional (B/E), and "Flaws" by Bastille and "Several Ways to Die Trying" by Dashboard Confessional (full cast).

Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you'll come back next chapter! And special thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter: **deltagirl47**, **Twilighted**, **Angelik Angel**, **Twilighted**, **Hans153**, **Sarah v**, and **Dramamamapwnsall**. You guys are just too awesome to even describe. :D


	10. Riddles

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Nine**: Riddles

**AN**: I have a really long note at the bottom of this so for now I'd just like to express my thanks to everyone who's taken the time to read this story. It means the world to me. And thanks to my awesome betas, **almondgirl3** (who will literally spend two days assessing all of the ways to replace the phrase "turning the incline up" until I find one I'm happy with) and **Faith212** (who is making admirable attempts to wrangle my comma use into something vaguely acceptable). Seriously, you should see the mess I send them as first drafts. They deserve a medal.

X

**APOV**

"What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?"

It was lunchtime on Friday, and Edward apparently thought he was reenacting the Gollum and Bilbo riddle scene; he had been asking them for the past ten minutes. It was pretty annoying, mainly because of the way he tended to lord it over the rest of us that he knew the answer. But hey! At least he was in a good mood. That was a pleasant change. He usually sulked around or acted all fidgety during lunch.

"Emmett, Emmett, and Emmett when he's acting like an ass," Rose answered dryly.

Jasper started laughing but Emmett had to think about it for a moment, his brow furrowing in concentration. "What? Are you calling me an ass?"

Rose shook her head, rolling her eyes.

"She's saying it only takes you a minute to come once, a moment to come twice, but if you're acting like an ass you're not getting any so you might not come in a thousand years," Jasper explained, still laughing.

Emmett glared at Rose, though the corner of his mouth was trying very hard not to twitch into a smile. "Not cool, babe. I'll have you all know I always last at least five minutes."

"Impressive, truly," Jasper drawled. He was leaned back in his chair with one foot propped against the edge of the table, his fingers interlaced behind his head.

"Why does every conversation end in a discussion of Emmett's junk?" I asked.

Emmett shrugged, winking at me playfully. "It's the center of the world, baby."

Rose punched him on the arm and he scowled, rubbing the spot. "Okay, what's the real answer, then?" she asked.

"The letter 'm'," Bella said. We all turned to look at her, surprised. She had been pretty quiet during all of lunch so far. "Isn't that it?" she asked, fidgeting as we gaped at her. "'Once in a minute, twice in a moment, never in a thousand years'... The letter 'm'?"

"Yeah," Edward nodded.

"I've got one," Jasper said, leaning forward and staring intently at Edward. "When you don't know what it is, then it's something; but when you know what it is, then it's nothing."

"What?" Rose asked.

"It's a riddle," Bella said, grinning.

Rose glared at her. "_Duh_. Thank you."

Emmett laughed, his hand coming down on the table. "Duh? _Duh?_ The nineties called; they want their slang back."

"The eighties called; they want theirs back, too," Rosalie snapped.

"Burn." Emmett blew on his fingers.

"No, I mean—" Bella started.

Jasper shook his head. "No, it's funnier this way," he said, his shoulders shaking with quiet laughter. "Look, you can practically see the wheels turning in his head." He nodded at Edward, who was staring at a spot on the table, his eyes narrowed in a look of intense concentration.

"Okay, I'm bored with this now," I announced. "Everyone going to Newton's tonight?"

Emmett grinned, looking positively giddy. "You know it. Rose has to pay for that minute man joke."

"Please," Rose scoffed.

"Bella?" I asked.

She nodded, biting her lip. "I don't think I'm going to fight this time though," she said.

Rosalie shot her a strange look but it was Emmett who spoke first. "Yeah, the whole public panty-soaking thing; it's hot, you know, but you don't want to come off as too much of a skank," he said. He was in his element today, I'd give him that. Bella turned bright red. "Now, if you were fighting a girl..." he trailed off, his eyes taking on a faraway quality.

"Like you two don't go at it like gerbils after every fight," I said.

Jasper raised an eyebrow at me. "Gerbils?"

I nodded seriously. "I hear they're quite virile."

"I don't think that's what they say about gerbils in relation to sex-"

"The point is—" I cut him off, waving my hand dismissively. Everyone looked at me expectantly and I shrugged. "Okay, I don't have a point. I was just trying to get off of that subject."

"How about them Braves?" Emmett said. "It works just as well, and no one loses face."

Edward screwed up his face in disgust. "No one likes the Braves."

Emmett looked offended. "I'll have you know, the Braves have a very strong and loyal die-hard following,"

"Yeah, but you're not one of them." Edward laughed.

"But I do envy their commitment to such a lost cause," Emmett said, his face completely serious.

The bell rang; Emmett groaned as the rest of us started gathering our stuff. Rosalie slapped Emmett upside the head, telling him to get his shit together. He stood up and headed off with her, bitching the whole way about the evils of math as the rest of us went to our separate classes.

X

**EPOV**

"So why aren't you fighting tonight?" I asked as Bella handed me a bag of grapes. I nearly cried. Did she not realize what hell these would be to sort through? But she had been trying really hard and had been really cool about the whole thing, so I took them grudgingly.

"Charlie wasn't exactly cool with the whole banged-up scarred thing," she said, gesturing to her face. "Probably shouldn't turn up like that two weeks in a row."

I looked at her, almost running into a freshman. The mark from my ring hadn't been too deep to begin with, but now it was almost completely gone, leaving only a thin, light pink line along the curve of her cheek.

"Sorry," I said, guilt eating at me. "Jewelry isn't allowed for that reason. I didn't think about it."

It seemed lame as far as apologies go, but that was really all there had been to it. I just hadn't thought to take it off.

She just nodded, hitching her bag higher on her shoulder. "So, what's up with everyone?"

I finally selected a grape, popping it into my mouth, which made her smile. It was the smallest of the bunch, and it took me a second to answer as I adjusted to the tart taste. "What do you mean?"

"Well, most of the week, they've been really...tense with each other. And then today, just like that—" She snapped her fingers for emphasis. "—it's over?"

I shrugged as we turned into the Chem lab. "We don't fight often. When we do, we get really mad for a while, and then when enough time has passed that we're not actually mad anymore, it just kind of goes away."

"Is that healthy?" she asked, taking her seat and looking a little dubious.

I laughed. "Probably not; but it's worked for years. Don't mess with a good thing, right?"

"So is that what happened with Rosalie and me?" she asked, a look of comprehension dawning on her face. "She calmed down, so it just went away?"

I thought about that. Whatever Rose's motives were for telling Bella about Leah, I was pretty sure that if she was still actually mad at Bella, she wouldn't have done it. But on the other hand, I wasn't really under the impression that she liked or accepted Bella any more than she had before, but rather the rage had just died down. It was a trickier situation than the other disagreements.

"I don't know," I finally said. "It's possible. Of course, you've calmed down, too. So that might be part of it."

She nodded, looking thoughtful. "I like that," she said after a moment. I looked at her quizzically, not sure what she meant. "That you don't necessarily have to fight everything out to the end. You can just pick up and start again."

"Fighting things to the end usually does more damage than just letting go," I said, nodding as the lights dimmed and the projector flickered to life. called the class to start and Bella and I fell into a comfortable silence.

X

**APOV**

"Qui suis moi combattant ce soir?" Jasper asked. We were supposed to be doing exercise seventy-six, but generally Mme. Mason didn't pay too close attention as long as she heard us speaking French.

_Who was I fighting tonight?_ I thought about it for a second and then shrugged. "Victoria, je suppose." There weren't a lot of truly good options when it came to the girls. There were only a handful who could really fight, the others were just there with their boyfriends or trying to look badass.

"Vous en avez marre d'elle?" he asked and I stared at him blankly before cursing under my breath and pulling out my French dictionary. In four years of French, I had never encountered the phrase "en avoir marre de".

"Oh," I snapped it shut. _Are you bored with her?_ He smirked at me. "Rose... se bat contre Emmett toujours, et Bella... ne... se bat pas ce soir. Il n'y a pas de personne d'autre." While Jasper could speak French with more confidence - whether his was technically correct or not - I always had a lot more trouble. But I finally got it. _Rose always fights Emmett, and Bella isn't fighting tonight. There's no one else_.

"Me," he said, shrugging. I shook my head. I wouldn't fight Jasper. I didn't like him fighting at all in his condition, and I certainly wasn't going to be the one to harm him. After a moment, he spoke again: "Rose got really quiet after Bella said she wasn't going to fight tonight," he said after a moment.

I thought about it. It was true, but I wasn't sure why he was bringing it up. "So?"

"It just seemed weird," he said, shrugging.

"What's weird, Monsieur Whitlock, is that you two don't seem to be making any progress with the exercise," Mme Mason cut in, making us both jump. "Are you having trouble understanding it?"

"Non, Mme Mason. Désolé," Jasper answered quickly, looking properly apologetic. "Vous êtes à la recherche belle aujourd'hui." His flattery only earned him a glare from Mme Mason; I tried to hold back a laugh.

"You're like a walking Google translator." Despite my best efforts, the laughter finally bubbled to the surface.

"What?" He frowned.

"_Recherche_ means to look, as in search; you wanted _parais_. You told her she's 'searching beautiful today'."

"En français, s'il vous plaît," Mme Mason called from across the room.

When the bell rang, Jasper picked up where he had left off. "All I'm saying is, Emmett makes a comment about beating Rose in a fight, and she says nothing? It's not like her."

I shrugged. "I doubt it has anything to do with Bella not fighting, though."

"That's the only weird thing that happened before that," he pointed out.

"There was a _lot_ weird about that discussion," I argued. Seriously, I couldn't even count how many times the conversation had somehow turned to Emmett's dick over the years. It never stopped being disturbing.

Jasper shrugged but didn't say anything else on the subject.

X

**BPOV**

Following Emmett and Rosalie's example from the week before, I drove right past Mike's at five o'clock and parked further down the road. I felt unreasonably nervous as I climbed out of my truck and smoothed down my skirt. I tried not to think about the fact that the reason I was wearing the stupid thing was also the reason I was nervous.

Edward and I had found steadier footing this week. I shouldn't be nervous about seeing him. I mean, it wasn't like this was even a date. So why was I trying so hard to impress him?

I wished I'd brought pants so I could change out of this stupid skirt now...

I froze a few steps down the sidewalk, my stomach lurching. I was doing it again; I was trying too hard to be a part of them. Oh shit. And I had been doing so much better.

I was about to turn around, go back home, and change into something a little less desperate, when Jasper pulled up and parked behind the truck.

Trapped. Dammit.

Alice climbed out, beaming at me. "Hey, Bella!" she called and then let out a low whistle. "My gosh, you have nice legs. And your hair is so cute! You should really consider the whole curls thing more often. Very...vixen-y." She brought her hand up, miming claws.

I felt my face heat up. "Yeah... I was actually just going to go back home and change..."

"Um, no," she said, rolling her eyes. "_Trust me_. No." Her eyes had a strange glazed quality and I remembered Edward telling me that she drank. Was she drunk? Should I take a drunk girl's word on what I should wear?

Jasper climbed out of the driver's seat and looked me up and down, his expression unreadable. "So that's why you're not fighting," he said. "Gotta tell ya, Bella, that's not really what these things are about."

"Oh my God," I groaned. "No, I just... I wasn't fighting anyway because of Charlie, and I just thought—"

Jasper cut off my rambling, shaking his head. "No business of mine," he said evenly. "Anyway, let's go."

"Well, _I_ think she looks great," Alice said as we started off toward Mike's.

"I never said she didn't look good."

"You were kinda rude." She glanced at him, disapproval knitting her brow.

Jasper stopped, bringing the three of us to a halt. He sighed and turned around to look at me. "My apologies, Bella. You look very nice this evening."

I almost laughed at the formality of it, but I couldn't tell if he meant for it to be funny or not. "Thank you," I said instead. He looked pointedly at Alice, who nodded, looking only slightly appeased, before turning again and continuing on.

We walked the rest of the way in silence. Jasper and Alice didn't let themselves in the front door, as Rosalie and Emmett had, but cut around the house and through the back gate to a set of steps leading down to a door below ground-level, sitting snug beside the back deck. I guess too many people entering the house in one way could attract too much attention? I wasn't really sure what Mike's parents thought about this whole thing, or how much they could even possibly know about it if they weren't putting a stop to it.

The basement was already packed when we let ourselves in. I followed Alice and Jasper closely as they pushed through the crowd, unsure of what else to do. I scanned the crowd for Edward but couldn't find him. I was a little disappointed, but I reminded myself that this was something they did every week; he probably just wasn't here yet.

"Alright," a voice called over the crowd; Mike stepped onto a milk crate and waved his arms to get everyone to settle down. "Welcome to the Gathering. We have a lot of first-timers tonight, so here's a rundown of the rules: Two to a fight. No jewelry; no weapons. And leave your personal shit out there." He gestured towards the crowd. "This is not where you settle scores," he said. "Now, boys against girls is allowed—but both players must agree to any fight...although if you don't fight, you're prob'ly a pussy and everyone's gonna know." Laughter rippled through the crowd; the roomed hummed with untapped energy. "And the fight is only over when a player taps out...or is no longer able to participate." The last of his words were swallowed up in cheers.

He gazed out over the crowd, his eyes flashing with humor. "Ladies first tonight; up first is Rose and Emmett."

"Bite me, Newton!" Emmett shouted back as he and Rosalie appeared at the edge of the crowd.

Mike shrugged and hopped down off of the crate. Rosalie walked up to him and said something that was easily drowned out by the crowd. Mike looked confused and Emmett crossed his arms, his jaw tense.

"Are they not going to fight?" I asked Alice. She shook her head, looking confused.

Mike and Rosalie exchanged a few more words before he stepped back on the milk crate and cleared his throat. "Change of plans, people." He shrugged. "Emmett won't be fighting this round."

"Pussy!" called a voice from the crowd, which was met with peals of laughter and jeering from everyone else. Emmett's head snapped around, scanning the crowd, his eyes aflame with anger.

"What's going on?" Alice leaned into Jasper.

His expression was grim. "Told you it was weird."

As I watched, Rosalie's eyes scanned the crowd before coming to rest on me. My heart jumped into my throat. _Oh, fuck..._

"Instead, Rose would like to issue a challenge to one of our newer fighters," Mike continued as the crowd grew restless, their excitement almost a tangible current in the air. Rosalie's face broke into a sadistic smile, and she pointed at me right as Mike yelled: "Bella Swan!"

The crowd lit up, whooping and yelling; some booed - obviously in favor of Rosalie beating my ass to a pulp. _Encouraging..._

"Hope you're wearing cute panties," Alice muttered.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked, my eyes wide. "She's going to kill me!" I wasn't wild about looking like a coward, but _seriously. Rosalie?_ Fuck. If she didn't kill me, then Charlie certainly would.

"Didn't your mother ever tell you to always wear cute panties in case you die?" Alice asked seriously.

"The expression is _clean_ panties, darlin'," Jasper corrected her.

My eyes bulged. "Are you two serious right now?"

"Come on down, Bella," Mike called from his milk crate. Everyone had turned to look at me by this point, and it was a strange sensation to see all eyes looking back at me... sizing me up.

I took a step forward and a hand came down on my shoulder. Startled, I looked up to see Edward standing there, but rather than looking at me, his eyes were fixed on Rosalie.

"You're not seriously going to bring this shit into the gathering, are you?" he asked.

Rosalie shrugged. "Call it a bonding experience," she said. I looked back at Edward and saw that this jaw was set, his eyes flashing angrily. Rosalie just smirked at him. I nearly turned and ran; nothing good could come of this. My heart thumped painfully against my ribs.

"Guys, what did I say about bringing your personal shit into this?" Mike groaned, scrubbing his face irritably with one hand. "What did I _just_ say?"

"Edward's overreacting," Rosalie said smoothly. "I just heard she put up a pretty good fight last week, is all."

Mike looked from her, to Edward, to me, and then back again clearly trying to decide what to do. He threw his hands up in a gesture of surrender. "Fuck it. I don't care; do what you want. Just make up your minds quick. You're not the only people waiting, you know."

"Do you want to fight her?" Edward asked, quiet enough that he couldn't easily be heard by the surrounding crowd.

I didn't want to lose face, so I said the first thing that popped into my head: "I'm not wearing pants."

Edward's eyes darted down, startled, and I blushed. He saw the skirt and nodded. "Two minutes," he called out, pulling me down the adjoining hall that ran under the stairs. I remembered from when we skipped school Monday that Alice had gone that way to search Mike's room for leftover pot. The crowd behind us called out irritably, upset by the delay.

Edward closed the door behind us and turned to look at me. He looked tense, his posture rigid. "Do you want to fight her?" he asked again.

I shrugged. "I don't want to _not_ fight her," I said, furrowing my brow as I tried to think of how to explain it. "I don't want to back down. But I don't want to fight in a skirt." Edward looked at me pointedly. "And yeah, okay; I'm a little afraid of her."

Edward nodded and headed for Mike's closet, pulling it open and shifting through the clothes. "Rose's power is in her arms," he said as he searched. "She has a wicked right hook, so it's best to just avoid that entirely. If you can avoid her hitting you, eventually she'll try to land a kick. Her balance is pretty poor, so when she does that, take the chance to knock her off balance." He held out a pair of jeans and a belt, giving me a second to soak in everything he said. "And do _not_ let her get you on the ground. If she gets you pinned, it's over. Emmett can barely get out of it."

I nodded, pulling the jeans up over my skirt and buttoning them before lacing the belt through its loops and cinching it tightly. It probably looked ridiculous.

"You're not going to win this fight," Edward said quietly as I rolled up the legs. "I'm not trying to be mean; it's just the truth. But if you remember all that, you can give her some hell."

I nodded again, looking around and finally finding a rubber band on Mike's desk. I pulled my hair out of my face and secured it quickly before peeling off my jacket and handing it to him. I couldn't speak. I felt like my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth, and if I tried to speak I might vomit.

"Ready?" Edward asked. I nodded and he opened the bedroom door, leading me back out.

There was a second where the room quieted down as I emerged, and then Mike started laughing.

"Okay," he said between gasps of laughter. "Okay, that works. Let's do this." He hopped down from the crate again, his laughter drowned out by the crowd's uproar. "You know, Bella," he said once I reached him, "if you wanted in my pants, you could've just asked."

I felt my face heat up again, but I didn't answer him. I stepped over the tape line and Rosalie smirked at me; I squared my shoulders, bracing my feet apart, feeling out my balance.

_Avoid her right hook. Wait for the kick. Don't let her get me on the ground..._

"You ready?" Rosalie asked. I nodded.

_Don't let her get me on the ground._

Mike counted down, but he was mostly drowned out by a loud rushing in my ears. I glanced around. Everyone seemed to be shouting, but I could barely hear them. Alice was on her feet, waving her fists as her mouth moved.

"Go!"

Rosalie shot forward. I side-stepped. Her fist connected with my shoulder, knocking me off balance. I hopped back, regaining my center.

Her fist was already pulled back again. I dropped and turned; her body followed her fist. I brought my foot up and kicked the back of the knee as she lurched past.

Her knee buckled, but she didn't fall. She spun around, her face furious. A blur: Her fist collided with my jaw.

Spots. I tasted pennies.

_Pennies?_

I shook my head. Rosalie took advantage of my hesitation.

She kicked out; my legs disappeared from under me. I reached out, trying to break my fall. I grabbed her leg, sending her sprawling.

I scrambled back from her, breathing hard.

I had to get up.

_Don't let her get me on the ground._

I found my footing; so did she. She ran forward. I was ready this time.

Her head snapped back. Pain shot through my knuckles.

I felt a surge of victory—too soon. Her knee came up and sank into my stomach.

_No air._

I doubled over, coughed. Thick warmth trickled from my mouth. I brought my hand up. Blood.

_Blood?_

_Pennies._

Her foot came up; a sharp pain in my shoulder. I fell to the ground, head spinning. Nothing made sense anymore.

_Don't let her get me on the ground._

I tried to raise myself up. The floor swung wildly. I shook my head hard. No better. No better. Stuck.

I brought my hand up, slammed it down hard on the ground. Once. Twice.

I expected another kick or punch to land and I tensed, waiting for it. But the hand that rested on my arm after a moment was soft, yielding. Another came around to my hip, and then I was being pulled to my feet.

It took a second, but then Rosalie came into sharp focus. Rosalie had helped me up? What?

She held her hand out to me. I stared at it blankly for a beat, puzzled by the gesture, and then finally grasped it, shaking.

"We're good." She dropped my hand and slipped back into the crowd. I just stood there, confused, until Edward appeared beside me and led me out of the square.

"Next up is Jasper and James," Mike was shouting as sound rushed back into my ears. Edward was leading me up the stairs and out of the basement, but I was hardly paying attention. The fight, and Rosalie's words afterward, were still making my head swim.

He led me into a bathroom on the first floor, slamming the lid down on the toilet and guiding me to sit down. He paused for a second and then handed me the empty trash can from beside the sink. I guess he expected me to throw up.

"That...could have gone better," he said after a second. I didn't say anything, and he turned the water on, wetting a wash cloth before turning back to me. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "What about Mike's parents?" I asked as it finally clicked that we were upstairs and not in Mike's bathroom. I mean, I had realized we were going upstairs, but... I shook my head and the motion sent a wave of pain through me.

Edward raised an eyebrow at me and said, "They're out of town this weekend. Didn't you hear him yell at me to bring you up here to patch you up?"

I shook my head, hissing at the motion. "No."

I watched him as he crouched down in front of me, handing me the washcloth and then reaching up without warning to open my eyes wider.

I jerked back. "What are you doing?"

"I'm checking your pupils. I think you might have a concussion." He reached towards my face again, slower this time. I tried to hold still, but having people around my eyes always made me nervous. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got beat up by a blonde shark," I said dryly. I licked my lips.

Edward laughed, but quickly turned serious again. "Do you hear any ringing or anything? Do you feel like you're going to vomit? Is your vision blurry?"

I shook my head. "It was, but it's cleared up," I said. "The hearing thing started as soon as I stepping into the square."

"Hearing thing," he repeated.

"Like not hearing Mike. It was all just sort of muffled."

"Nerves," he said, nodding. "I think you're going to be fine." He took the washcloth back from me and, steadying my head with a hand on my jaw, started wiping around my mouth and chin. I winced. "Yeah, you're going to have a bruise. Where's this blood coming from?"

I shrugged. He sighed and stood up again to rinse the washcloth out.

"Rosalie said we're good," I blurted after a second.

He scoffed. "That's it, then?" He wrung out the washcloth and setting it on the side of the sink. I didn't know what exactly he was asking, so I didn't answer. "Well, your shirt's pretty much wrecked, but I think you'll be okay."

I looked down to see that blood from my mouth had made it down to my chest, leaving a dark spot on my blue tank top. He grabbed the washcloth again and handed it to me.

"You'll probably want to clean that up yourself..." he said, his eyes lingering on my chest. I didn't even have it in me to blush. I stood up, pausing for a second to make sure the world was done trying to throw me off of it, and then moved around Edward to look in the mirror.

I didn't look as bad as I expected. My face wasn't swollen, although the skin along the left side of my jaw was starting to darken, and drying blood had created a line down my neck and disappearing under my shirt. Other than that, though, I didn't look any worse for wear.

I cleaned up as Edward looked politely away. "Ever the gentleman," I teased him, already starting to feel more like myself again, now that the rush of the fight had died down. He looked at me, surprised, before quickly looking looking away again.

I rinsed the washcloth and then pulled my hair out of the ponytail, hissing as the rubber band pulled at my hair, stinging my scalp. The curls I had spent a full half-hour on earlier fell around my shoulders and I sighed in disappointment. They had all but fallen flat. Oh well. The night hadn't exactly gone as planned so far, anyway.

What had the plan been? I would put a little effort into my appearance, come to the gathering and... what? Edward would fall madly in love with me? I nearly laughed at that.

I undid the belt and pulled Mike's jeans off, straightening my skirt as Edward continued to look pointedly away.

"Okay," I said when I was finally put back together again.

Edward turned around and handed me my jacket, which I put on and zipped up far enough to hide the bloodstain. "Do you want to go back downstairs?"

I shook my head. "I think I've had enough," I said wryly. "You don't have to stay with me, though. I don't want you to miss out," I added quickly at his tense nod.

"Nah." He shrugged. "I don't want to leave you alone."

My heart jumped a little at that, but I tried to calm it. It would be best not to read too much into any one thing he said. Besides, he had said it casually; it probably didn't mean much. "I was just going to go home," I said quickly.

He shook his head and then quickly added: "I mean, you can if you want. I'm not going to stop you or anything... but do you really think it's a good idea to go home to the good Chief Swan after dark looking like you've been mugged?"

He had a point. I didn't think my face was going to look any better in the morning, but the circumstances might look less grim by the light of day. Besides, it would give me time to think of a good story to explain it; I didn't think Charlie would just let this one go like he had the scratch. I would definitely have to invest in some better makeup. Alice and Rose never looked too banged up; they could probably tell me what worked.

Plus, you know, the additional insistence that he was fully willing to miss the gathering to be with me didn't hurt either.

"Okay," I said. "So what do we do, then?"

"Well, first: you need call your dad," he said. "I don't need him tracking me down in the dead of the night trying to find you." My stomach twisted with guilt; I hadn't exactly told Charlie I was going to be with Edward. I couldn't tell if I was feeling guilty because I had essentially lied, or because that would make it seem like I was embarrassed of our friendship or relationship or whatever it was. Maybe a bit of both.

"Then, I don't know, we talk or watch a movie or something," Edward continued, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Sounds thrilling." I smiled to show him I was joking.

"Yeah? If you want thrilling, go home and try to explain that to the Chief of Police now," Edward said with a laugh, spreading his hand out and waving in my general direction. "The best I can offer you is some company while you figure it out."

X

**AN**: Okay, guys, here's the thing about this story, and as you read this, please, _please_ keep an open mind, because I do not mean to be confrontational at all. I have certain things that I want to happen in this story. I have a clear and distinct direction that I'm heading in and I have a plan. So while I really do try to take into account reviewer feedback and suggestions, sometimes they are not possible at the time.

I read every single review; I _appreciate_ every single review, but if you request, for example, more of a certain pairing or to see a certain side of them and I can't work it in, I'm not ignoring you or being arrogant or whatever, but know that I did see it and please don't get overly-insistent that I do it a specific way. The reviews that prompted this have been removed, and I don't want to really get into them, but just take my word for it, okay? Posting a review on every single chapter demanding that I write more of what you want in this story... It's impolite and a little douchey. For lack of a better description.

There will be plenty of opportunities for filler and additional content between the big points in this story, and I promise I will take what you guys want to see into consideration at those points, but understand that there is also a plan in place for this story.

Having said that, I hope that doesn't discourage any of you from reviewing and leaving comments or suggestions, as I really do love them, and love seeing all of the different opinions regarding characters. Just practice a little bit of tact. This doesn't apply to 99% of you. Most of you have been more than I could ever want as reviewers. But I don't want to become overly-stressed regarding this story because that makes it hard to write, and I don't want to have to disable anonymous reviews because I have a few regular non-registered reviewers who are very courteous and I don't want to punish them. The person who is responsible, though, you know I'm talking about you. We can avoid this whole mess in the future if we just treat each other with respect and courtesy. :)

I'm sorry to go all lecture-y and wall-of-text here, I hope you all understand.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this chapter (and the accompanying essay AN), and special thanks to everyone who took a second to drop me a line: **Angelik Angel**, **Twilighted**, **deltagirl74**, **Nellychick**, and **dramamamapwnsall**. You guys are made of some serious awesome sauce. See you next chapter!


	11. Why AJ and not BE?

I know, I know, ANs as chapters, bad author! Can't you read the Rules and Guidelines? Didn't you have to agree to them to post this story? You've been here for four years, don't you know this isn't cool by now?

Yeah, I do. Thanks. I don't normally do these this - I can count on one hand the number of times I've found it necessary on this or any other site in the last eight years. But there is something that I refuse to spend any more of my time on in-story, and I'm hoping this will finally put the concerns to rest. Feel free to skip this, but I really don't want to field this question anymore.

**Why is this story so Bella/Edward heavy if it's categorized as Jasper/Alice? Why won't you write more Alice/Jasper right now? Why aren't you writing more J/A lemons? Why are you telling Bella and Edward's story? Why isn't this categorized as Edward/Bella? _Why isn't this categorized correctly?_**

I understand this question, and I understand where it comes from, I really do. I am aware of how the story seems right now. So here's my long-winded explanation for why this story is, in fact, an Alice/Jasper story and therefore correctly categorized.

This story started with Bella moving to Forks and subsequently meeting/befriending Alice and the gang. She has to be established as part of the group. Otherwise, can you imagine how awkward that would be?

Intro Alice, Jasper & others. Intro Bella. Everyone immediately loves Bella and she is immediately one of them and welcomed by everyone. Even though they're alluded to as being potentially dangerous there's no real conflict between the group and their newcomer and then BAM! Alice and Jasper's arch really comes into play and it affects the whole group including Bella because she's totally established and an important part of the story. _Except not really because you know nothing about her or how she fits with anyone else or what her role is._

It just doesn't work well that way. That story would have more holes and less total substance than Swiss cheese.

So that still doesn't explain the choice in categorization, I know. Why not just call it an Edward/Bella story? Then I could develop Bella to my heart's content and it'll be awesome and it'll fit in its category and that's cool because there's nothing wrong with E/B stories, right?

Right. Except the central storyline, the one that will affect all the others, the one that will bring about the climax of the story and the resolution and tie it in with the prologue, is Alice and Jasper's. It may not be obvious now, but I promise, it's true. That's the most I can tell you without spoilers.

We're now entering into the third arch of this story. We're about to get deep into the actual substance, now that Bella's established (in fact, the second arch was titled: "Bella Finds Her Place"; it's true, just ask **Faith212**), and turn our attention more to the center, Alice and Jasper. So please have a little faith in me as the author.

Likewise, as an author, I understand that not every story is for every person. It is entirely possible that this story isn't in your tastes, or isn't what you were expecting/looking for. That's totally cool. If you wish to discontinue, no hard feelings. To those of you who decide to stick around and see where this goes and get deeper into Alice and Jasper's story and see how it affects the rest of the cast as well, I look forward to continuing this story with you.

I'm not saying don't ask questions. I'm not saying don't make suggestions. I'm not saying anything like that. But I first addressed this issue in my AN for "Tit for Tat", and I've been asked about it pretty regularly since then. I won't be addressing it anymore.

Additionally, I have no problem with people reviewing this story without an account (anonymous/unregistered/guest/whatever). If I did, I would have disabled that option. But if you ask a specific question, please log in. I won't be dedicating anymore time in-story to replying to or answering things like this in depth. No disrespect, but it's not what I'm here to do. I'll answer all questions and reply to reviews, but I will be doing it through the PM feature.

Sincerely,  
Anna.

If you _are_ looking for stories with more lemons or more of the secondary pairings (Alice/Jasper and Emmett/Rosalie), I have a few others: "Not Without a Fight", "Not Without a Fight: Rematch" (which is exclusively A/J), and "Slipping" (which is exclusively Em/R).


	12. Reckoning

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Ten**: Reckoning

**AN**: Hey, did you know I had a Twitter? I totally do, and you could totally follow me and I could totally follow you back and we could totally become best friends. Or, if that's not something that interests you, you can just lurk. I occasionally post bits of new chapters, lose my shit over canon aspects that bother me, and post libelous things about **almondgirl3** and **Hans153**. So there's that. My username is AnnaNocturnal. See you there!

Speaking of **almondgirl3**, though, have I mentioned that between her and **Faith212** I have the best set of betas? Are you jealous? You should totally be jealous.

The word of the day is "totally". And now, here we go.

X

**EPOV**

"Alright, if you don't live here or fuck someone who does, it's time to get out!"

I started awake, trying to sit up for a second before realizing that I was pinned in place by something warm and solid. I craned my neck around to see Newton standing in the kitchen doorway, wearing only a tee shirt and a pair of plaid boxers, his hair sleep-tousled.

"Jeez, Newton, put on some pants," I groaned as the thing on my chest shifted. I looked down to see the Bella's head turn to looked up at me. She squinted her eyes, seeming confused by her surroundings.

"Your girlfriend never returned my pants," Newton said. "Besides, don't pretend this doesn't turn you on." He struck a ridiculous pose, boxers and all.

I didn't bother to point out that he had way more than one pair of pants. Besides, in all fairness, he probably hadn't expected us to still be here this morning. I hadn't even really planned on that. Bella and I had stayed up until the early hours of the morning, talking about literally anything and everything, and we had just fallen asleep here.

"Oh no," Bella groaned, sitting up with a jolt and grabbing her phone off of the table, squinting at the display. "Oh _shit_."

"What time is it?" I remembered that she had told her dad she'd be home in the morning, but it couldn't be after noon yet, could it?

"Just past one," Mike answered as Bella held up her phone for me to see for myself. Five missed calls from her dad.

She stood up, straightening her skirt and grabbing her jacket from the arm of the couch. "I've gotta get home," she said, sounding panicked. "Charlie's going to be freaking out."

I shrugged, hoping that if I acted calm, she'd calm down too. "I don't know; if he was cool with you staying at Mike's in the first place, I don't think he's going to be too upset about you being a few hours late..." I trailed off at the guilty expression on her face. "What...?"

She bit her lip, worried brown eyes staring up at me. "Charlie... thinks I stayed at Jessica Stanley's."

I took a second to consider that. "What? Why did you tell him that? You said Jessica hates you. I mean, if you were gonna lie, at least make it believable." I frowned. 'Why didn't you just say you were gonna stay at Alice's or something? Even Rose would've covered for you." She shot me a strange, pleading sort of look. "What?"

"Well...he doesn't really want me hanging out with you. _Any_ of you," she said quietly.

Mike cleared his throat nervously. "I'm just gonna... I'll go. You guys talk." He ducked back down the basement stairs.

"You've been lying to your dad this whole time?" I asked; she nodded. "That's not even the biggest issue here," I said as soon as it occurred to me. "You do _know_ who your dad is, right? I mean, you're lying to your dad, so _really_, you're lying to the police, Bella! I mean, _fuck_—What do you think happens if he finds out?" There was no way this was gonna stay a secret in a town like ours.

I wasn't angry. If anything, I was completely astonished. I knew Bella probably didn't get the gravity of our history with the police around here, but that didn't make it any less of a big deal.

Bella shrugged. "I—I mean, I don't think there's anything he can really do to you guys. I mean, he can ground me, but it's not like you kidnapped me."

"There are about twenty separate charges between the five of us that he could bring up at any time." I raked my hands through my hair, staring at her incredulously. How could she not know this? Hadn't her dad told her anything? I had just sort of assumed he would've talked about it, especially if he'd told her to stay away from us. That was why none of us had really brought it up: it wasn't something we were exactly proud of; and really, how could she not have known? "He's looked the other way because no one involved wanted them pursued, but the point is, he _could_."

"He wouldn't do that just because I lied to him," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "He's not like that."

I closed my eyes and breathed out through my nose, trying to calm down. "And when he _finds out_ you've been running around with us _and_ you keep coming home with bruises and cuts and shit? What about then, huh?" I waited, eyes wide; she didn't speak, just drew her lip back under her teeth. "What do you think a _police officer_ wouldn't do to protect his kid?" I ran my hands through my hair again, needing to do something with them but not knowing what. "Bella, look; at the very least he could put Rose in juvie. Maybe Emmett, too. _Jail_. You get it? You need to go home and tell him what's going on right _now_."

She nodded, no longer meeting my eyes. Her arms were still crossed, but now it looked more like she was hugging herself than the show of defiance it had been. I hated that I had to hurt her, especially after the night before, but..._ Fuck_, this was really serious. This could get _really_ ugly, _really_ fast.

She stood there for another moment, her eyes fixed blankly on my chest. Then, without even looking up or saying another word, she turned and walked away from me. I didn't move as I heard the front door open and close.

X

**BPOV**

I felt sick the whole way home. The night before had been so nice. Edward and I finally seemed to click. He told me about big things, like how much his parents had always fought, how his eating habits had been an issue since he was little, how that had impacted his family. And he told me small things, too, like the fact that he had been playing piano since he was six and that he couldn't whistle.

I had gaped at him. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"But it's...it's just so easy." I was fighting back a laugh. "You just purse your lips and blow." I demonstrated.

He shook his head but tried anyway. No sound came out other than rushing air.

I told him about my mom: how flighty and irresponsible she could be; what it had been like living in Phoenix, other than what I had already told all of them. I told him about how much I liked drawing - even if I wasn't especially good at it - and how I couldn't cook. He pestered me about that, naming a few "simple" dishes before I admitted just how bad it was.

"I can't even make toast." He frowned, not believing me. "Really. I can make buttered bread or I can make buttered ash. You'd have to pick one or the other."

"The first one isn't even making anything; you just butter it." He laughed. "But what about your lunches? Don't you cook that stuff?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, but you should have seen me try to get the hang of those few recipes. It was a disaster. I think they were about to tent our apartment building and storm in wearing hazmat suits."

And then in the morning, when Mike called me Edward's girlfriend, he hadn't corrected him. I mean, that probably didn't actually mean anything; Edward had probably just been distracted by Mike's ridiculous underwear pose. But still, he hadn't seemed horrified to have me called his girlfriend.

And now...now apparently I had as good as gotten half of them arrested, as well as made him mad at me.

Pretty impressive for one morning. I hadn't even had breakfast yet.

But what had they done? For Edward to react like that, it must've been _big_. And what did Charlie know that he could use against them? It could be the Leah thing, I guess. But that didn't explain why Emmett could be arrested, too. And it certainly didn't explain "twenty separate charges between the five of them."

I pulled into the driveway and just sat there for a minute, steeling myself to go in. I probably should have called Charlie when I left Mike's, so he wouldn't still be panicking when I went inside. Hindsight's a bitch.

Well, too late now, anyway.

I got out of the truck and made my way to the front door, hesitating with my hand on the doorknob for a moment before finally stepping inside.

Charlie was in the front hall, the receiver of the ancient landline pressed to his ear. His expression hardened from worry to anger when he saw me, and he held up a finger and spoke into the phone: "She just walked in. Sorry to bother you," he said. He returned the receiver to its cradle and crossed his arms, his feet shoulder-width apart: the "bad cop" pose. I'd only seen it a few times in my life.

"Something you want to tell me, Bella?" Not _Bells_. Bella.

"I'm sorry I'm late," I said lamely. "I overslept—"

"Where were you?"

I fought the lump forming in my throat. It wasn't fear; it was pure guilt and shame trying to choke me. "Mike Newton's." Even to me, my voice sounded very small.

His eyes bulged. "You were out all night at a boy's house?"

"It's not like that!" I said quickly. "A bunch of kids were hanging out there and a few of us just sort of crashed. I slept on the couch." That much was true, but not telling him about Edward didn't help with the lump in my throat.

Charlie's nostrils flared: another bad sign. I felt my face screw up in anticipation; this was going to be pretty bad. "You were supposed to be at Jessica Stanley's! Isn't that what you told me when you called last night? Well, when you didn't come home—I called their house. And guess what I found out?" He didn't wait for me to guess. "That _not_ only were you _not_ there, but Jessica's never _even_ seen you outside of school!" I didn't know what to say to that; I avoided his eyes. After a few seconds of silence he continued, his voice a little softer this time. "What have you been doing? And _don't_ lie to me again, Bella; I am _not_ in the mood."

"I've been hanging out with Alice Brandon and her friends," I said quietly. "I didn't tell you because I know you don't want me hanging out with them, but _Dad_—they're not bad people." The words were coming out in a rush now, needing to get out there before they could be swallowed back down. "They're really nice... Well, most of them. But they're not at all like people think."

"Bella, those people have good reasons for what they think!" I flinched; he looked like he was going to say more but closed his mouth. He breathed in and out through his nose. "No more—You hear me? No more of this lying and sneaking around."

"Dad—"

"End of discussion." I clamped my mouth shut, not wanting to make it any worse. After a moment, he sighed. "I need to be able to trust you." His voice was much softer now, and he looked wary. "I'm not saying that you can't have friends or that you can't go out with them, but I'm your father. I _need_ to know where you are. I _need_ to know who you're with." He let out a breath. "I need to know that you're safe."

I frowned. "So...as long as I make sure to tell you, I can hang out with them?"

Charlie studied me for a second, not relaxing his posture; I was careful not to blink, trying to look determined. After a beat, he sighed. "You're not going to be out with them all night—and no leaving Forks with them. You're not to be in a vehicle with _any_ of them, Bella. And you are _never_ allowed to set foot on the reservation with them. Are we clear?"

I nodded; it shook the hair I'd been trying to hide behind from my face. Big mistake. I saw Charlie's eyes immediately zero in on the bruise.

He stepped forward and reached out a hand; I leaned away from it. "What the hell happened to your face?"

"Dad." I held my hands up in what I hoped was a calming gesture. "It's fine. I grabbed the steering wheel in the truck to climb in and I just kinda lost my grip. My hand kind of flew back, since I was pulling." I tried to mime how it happened—Well, how it _would've_ happened. My excuse sounded good at the time, but now, standing in front of Charlie and watching his eyes harden while he watched me lie - right after he told me not to - I felt the lump in my throat come back two-fold.

"Did that McCarty kid hit you?" His anger was evident in his voice. He took a few steps forward; I wasn't quick enough this time. He grasped my jaw and tilted my head to look at the bruise.

I paused, surprised. Emmett? "What?! No. Dad, if Emmett hit me, I wouldn't have a bruise—I'd be stuck halfway through a wall." Why did his mind fly to Emmett?

I guess my shock was obviously sincere because he didn't push it. His grip relaxed a little and then he let go of my jaw. "You need to be more careful," he said gruffly. "I worry about you, you know."

"I know," I said, swallowing against the lump. "But I'm fine. _Really_."

X

**APOV**

It was two o'clock and Jasper and I still hadn't moved from bed. "I really have to go," I said for what had to be the hundredth time since we had woken up, tossing his sheets aside and trying to climb out of bed.

He wrapped his arms around me tightly and pulled me back. "It's Saturday. What could you _possibly_ have to do that's more important than this?"

As if to answer his question, my phone rang. Before I could move, he reached over me and grabbed it off of the bedside table, staring at the display. I took advantage of his distraction to get out of bed, searching around the room for my clothes.

The ringing stopped. "What?" Jasper said into the phone; I let out a short laugh. _Well, that ruled out my mom_. "What? No, she's busy." I stopped searching for my underwear and raised an eyebrow at him; he smirked at me and pulled his hand out from under the covers, my panties dangling off of one finger. "Or she _will_ be."

"Who is it?" He shrugged and I crossed my arms, shooting him a disapproving look. "_Jasper_."

"It's Edward." I held my hand out for the phone and he shook his head, holding the phone away from his face but not covering the receiver. "You're not talking to another guy naked—even if it _is_ just Edward," he said in a teasing voice. I heard Edward saying something indistinct from the phone.

"Then give me my panties!" He pouted but handed them over, along with the phone. "The pout's not a good look," I muttered before placing the phone between my shoulder and jaw as I pulled my panties on and then started searching for my bra. "What's up?" I asked Edward.

"Am I interrupting?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, I was actually getting ready to head home. Jasper's just fucking around."

"So...Bella's been lying to her dad about where she is every time she hangs out with us."

"Okay...and that's a problem _because_...?" I found my bra halfway under the bed. Next were my pants, which were bunched up by the door.

"Well, she's not doing a very good job of it." He said that as though it should actually explain something.

"I'm not surprised, I never thought she seemed like much of a liar. Hold on—" I sat the phone down for a second to pull my shirt over my head. "So I still don't really get why this is like, a thing you're telling me." Jasper shot me a questioning look and I mouthed _Bella_ before sitting on the edge of the bed to put on my socks.

"Because I think you should run some damage control," Edward said, sighing heavily. "You're the most likable of us. I think you could calm her dad down a bit about her hanging out with us."

"Wait..." I said, running my fingers through my hair, trying to make some sense of the sex-hair, as well as what Edward was saying. "Okay. So Bella's dad doesn't want her hanging out with us."

"Correct."

"So she's been lying to him about where she is."

"Also correct." He sounded frustrated that I hadn't gotten his point yet.

"Which is...a problem for us?" I guessed.

He exhaled heavily again. "If he finds out she's been lying, he could take it out on us—especially Rose and Emmett."

Finally it clicked. "Ah, gotcha. But I don't see how I could change his mind. He's the officer who brought Jasper and me in, you know." I thought he was probably over-reaching with that theory, but I decided to go on the possibility that he might be correct.

"Yeah, but your charge is the smallest—_and_ non-violent." I had to admit that he was right, that I was probably the best option, but I still didn't think it was likely to work out. "And if we can't smooth things over, Bella might not be able to hang out with us anymore."

I nodded and then remembered that he couldn't see me. "Got it," I said instead. "I'm on it, Edward. Don't worry." I hung up the phone and stood up, turning to look at Jasper. "Well, now I've _really_ gotta go."

"What are you up to?"

I leaned over and kissed him softly. "Going to flirt with another man," I joked. "Don't worry, it's for the good of the group."

He rolled over, trapping me beneath him. "That doesn't make me want to let you go, you know."

I laughed as he kissed my neck, his light stubble scratching the sensitive skin.

I guess the whole Bella thing could wait another hour or two.

X

It was six o'clock before I finally made it to Bella's. The plan was simple: Smile a _lot_; be charming. Leave no doubt in Chief Swan's mind that I was not just the girl that he once picked up for shoplifting or the girlfriend of a truant pothead. Right.

I rang the bell and took a step back; I made sure to paste a bright smile on my face. After a moment I hear muffled footsteps and then the door opened and Chief Swan appeared; he looked quite surprised to see me there.

"Heya, Chief Swan!" I gave him a small wave. "How are you this evening?"

He frowned a little. "Alice, right?"

As if he didn't know. But okay, if he wanted to act like he hadn't met me before that was cool; It might even make all of this easier.

"Is Bella around?" I couldn't very well tell him I was mostly here to see him, could I?

He looked at me for a second like he was considering whether or not he should try to get rid of me. I kept my smile in place, determined not to back down; Edward needed me to do this.

He sighed and seemed to relax a bit. "Yeah, she's upstairs." He stepped aside to let me in and shut the door behind me.

I looked around at the modest decor and decided against complimenting the house. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with it, but it was so simple and...well, _male_, that it would just sound insincere.

Chief Swan nodded towards the stairs. "First door at the top." It was pretty clear he didn't want to spend any more time with me, so I decided against forcing it just yet and nodded my thanks before heading for the stairs. But I had barely gotten three steps before he cleared his throat; I turned around and looked down at him. "Bella's had a hard couple of years, you know. And I know some of the stuff you and your friends get up to," he said, his voice a slightly different - harder - than it was just before. Harder, but not angry. "And for what it's worth, I'd appreciate it if you didn't bring Bella into any of it."

I was surprised at the request, and frankly, taken aback by his courteous tone; it wasn't at all what I was used to from him. That was when I realized—_really_ realized—that he wasn't just Chief Swan anymore; he was also a dad worried about his daughter. I nodded again and took a step back down the stairs. "Bella's a sweet girl. None of us would ever hurt her."

He was quiet for a moment as he seemed to consider this. "Unfortunate..." he paused as though considering the word and then nodded shortly. "Unfortunate things happen around you guys, whether you mean them to or not."

I didn't say anything; I just waited, my hand on the banister, as he shoved his hands deep in his pockets and exhaled. This conversation seemed to be taking a lot of effort on his part.

"You seem to have the most sense of your friends," he said grudgingly. I smiled a little at that; only our group could possibly make that such a difficult compliment—or really a compliment at all. "Look out for her, okay?"

"I will," I said quietly. "I won't let anything happen to her."

He nodded once more and then turned away, heading for the living room where the television was turned on to a baseball game. I started up the stairs again, glancing at the pictures on the wall on the way up. All of Bella's school portraits were there, along with snapshots of her and her father somewhere far too sunny and warm-looking to be Washington. If I had to guess, I'd say they were taken in Arizona. Chief Swan must have visited her there often. And if he went to see her instead of her coming here, it would explain why none of us had ever really met her before.

I knocked on her door and was answered by a loud thump and then the sound of feet padding across the hardwood floor. Bella opened the door, looking surprised to see me there.

"Edward called," I said by way of explanation.

Bella stood aside to let me in, looking worried. "I'm sorry, Alice; I didn't know I could be causing problems for you guys," she said in a rush.

I waved her words off. "Edward likes to overreact. I just came over to try to make a better impression on your dad, but everything seems okay."

"I told him the truth about everything," she said, looking a little guilty. "He seems to be okay with it, he just wants me to let him know where I actually am."

I smirked and gestured to the bruise along her jaw. "You told him the truth about that?"

"Okay...maybe not _everything_," she admitted before sitting down on her bed; she crossed her legs and motioned for me to take a seat in the chair at her desk. "So, I know I'm not supposed to ask too many questions or whatever—"

"You can ask questions." I rolled my eyes. "It's not that you can't know anything about us. It's just that it's a gradual thing."

"Yeah. Well, Rosalie said something after the fight and I can't quite work it out."

That surprised me. Rose was usually pretty straightforward. "Okay..." I said.

"She said 'we're good' after I tapped out."

"So?"

Bella furrowed her brow and bit her lip. "So she's good with me because now she's kicked my ass?"

I shook my head. "I haven't talked to her today, but knowing her it's not..._quite_ like that. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure she's super-happy she won. But it's more like...'okay, now you've earned my respect'. I really doubt it's about her winning; it's more about you not backing down or running away." I shrugged, leaning back in the chair.

She seemed to be thinking about that and I let my eyes drift around her room. It looked like it belonged to a kid instead of a high school senior. My guess was that it hadn't been redecorated since she was little. It didn't really fit her, either. The only thing there that I would guess belonged to her was the patchwork quilt on her bed—I tilted my head—which seemed to be made out of tee shirts boasting the logos of different tourist attractions.

"Seems like she could've found a less violent way of deciding if she likes me or not," Bella mumbled after a minute.

I laughed. "I know, right?" I shrugged. "But that's Rose for you." I shrugged.

"What about Emmett?" My eyes flicked to her, widening in worry before I could hide my reaction. _What had her father told her?_ "Sorry," she added; her teeth gnawing on her lip. "I just...well, when I came home with this—" She gestured to her jaw "—Charlie kind of assumed _Emmett_ had done it."

I relaxed a little. So that was it. I gave her a small smile. "People think Emmett's rough because he's big," I said with a shrug.

Really, that much was true. What happened last year...well, that mess really wasn't a fair account of Emmett's character. It had been a mistake, and if it had involved anyone other than a lying bitch, the aftermath wouldn't have gotten as ugly as it had.

"How's Jasper?" Bella asked, perhaps wanting an easier topic.

I smiled, memories of the day so far coming back to me. "He's doing pretty well," I said. "He has his next doctor's appointment Monday and I'm going along this time. We're going to meet his donor."

"I didn't know it worked like that," Bella said. "Sounds exciting, though."

I nodded. "It's pretty rare. Both people have to agree to their information being released and it's this whole big complicated thing," I said, spinning the chair slowly from side to side. "But both procedures are being done in the same hospital, so it just sort of worked out this way, since the donor agreed."

"That's good news, though, right?" Bella sounded a bit unsure.

I nodded again. I didn't know what I would say to the person who might save Jasper's life when I met them, but I was really excited nonetheless. "I don't know what I'll say," I said, deciding to give voice to my thoughts.

Bella smiled. "Just say thank you."

_Thank you_ would never be enough.

X

**JPOV**

I woke up on Sunday morning - or was it Saturday night? - with a start, sitting straight up in my bed as though I'd been shocked. Alice stood beside me, her long, black hair flowing down to her waist, her warm - very warm, I noted - hand on my shoulder.

But that wasn't right, was it? Alice hadn't stayed here last night. And her hair... she had worn it short since our sophomore year.

I tried to get a good look at her face. I was tired. So tired. I couldn't see clearly. And she seemed to be...glowing? I couldn't bring myself to look directly at her.

Her hand drifted from its spot on my shoulder down to my hand, grasping it gently and pulling. I swung my legs out of bed and stood, my movements feeling oddly mechanical. I shouldn't go with this girl, this stranger that I couldn't even bring myself to look at directly. But no matter how much my rational mind resisted, my body followed her automatically.

She led me down the stairs and out the front door, her warm hand never releasing mine, and stopped on the porch. She looked at me for a moment and then slowly, gracefully brought her hand up to point at the night sky.

I looked up, and as she pointed, the heavens opened up and it was like I could see through this universe to the next; stars were born and died before my eyes, and I felt an overwhelming sense of peace.

The girl reached up then, guiding my face down to look at her, and it was only then that I saw her. She was more beautiful than anything I had ever seen, but I couldn't pinpoint why. Her skin was pale, smooth as porcelain, her lips full and rosy, and her eyes were a startling clear blue. But that wasn't what made her so beautiful. That, I couldn't place.

"You will go," she said, her voice soft and melodic. It was like her words were both being echoed from very far away, and whispered in my ear, all at once. "But you will not go in pain."

I woke up again in my bed, my chest heaving, stomach churning.

X

**AN**: So this was a bit shorter than some of the other chapters, but I mainly just wanted to get the resolution of most of Bella's part, and start turning to Alice and Jasper and set up the next arch. From here on out, although we will still see a good bit of the other characters, we're going to focus mainly on Alice and Jasper. Are you excited? I'm quite excited. :D

Thanks to everyone who read the last chapter - and seriously, guys, thanks for your support on the whole Bella arch. It means the world to me!

Special thanks to everyone who reviewed since the last update: **TowerOfRavens**, **Hans153**, **gottabefree**, **deltagirl74**, **Twilighted**, and **shaunihunter**. You guys completely made my day!

Questions? Comments? I'd love to hear from everyone. :D


	13. Pulling Away

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Eleven**: Pulling Away

**AN**: Thanks so much to everyone who took the time out of their lives to read my little ol' story. It means the world to me, seriously! As does your feedback. A lot of inspirational credit goes to **Twilighted**, who made a suggestion that wouldn't stop eating at me until I wrote it, and in a way made this chapter what it is, by way of plot, at least.

So this chapter we're digging deep into Alice and Jasper's story. That's right, the moment(s) you've all been waiting for are finally here. Well, not those of you waiting for another lemon. That's not here yet. Point is this chapter is _all_ about Alice and Jasper. Enjoy!

Oh. By the way, you guys know my betas, **almondgirl3** and **Faith212**? Okay. I just wanted to remind you guys that they're awesome. I've thrown everything from unexpected broken French to weirdly over-detailed fight scenes at them and they've yet to quit on me. And I thought for sure they would with this chapter, since it had to be overhauled about three times. Actually, a lot of the time I think I should just list them as co-authors. "Beta" isn't really enough to describe all that they do.

X

**APOV**

I didn't usually go with Jasper to his doctor's appointments. It was partly because his mom didn't think I should be missing school for it - of course, she didn't know that I did anyway - and partly because if he got bad news, he wanted time to process it before he told me. I didn't like that, the idea that he might keep important things from me, but there wasn't anything I could really do about it.

But because we were now in the home stretch, and because we were meeting Jasper's donor while we were in Seattle, both of our moms had agreed that I could go. So at five in the morning on Monday I piled into Jasper's car with him and his mom - who stretched out in the back seat to nap on the way, having just got off from her second job. I was nearly vibrating with excited energy.

Jasper, however, didn't look excited. His jaw was set in a hard line, his shoulders tense, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, turning his knuckles white.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

He nodded tersely. "Just nervous." He gave me a small smile.

"Me too," I admitted, smiling back. "How wild is it that we're meeting the person who's probably going to save your life? I mean, they're a stranger, and they're doing all of this for you. You hear about shit like this in the newspapers and stuff—" I waved my hand as though gesturing to a headline, switching to an announcer's low pitch. "Random citizen steps up and saves someone else in an emergency...or whatever." I cleared my throat, switching back to my normal voice. "But like...this person is doing all of this because they decided to. Not because they have to or it's the only option at the time. That's pretty cool."

He just nodded. I frowned, cocking my head at him questioningly. "Are you sure you're okay?"

He didn't answer me right away, glancing over his shoulder to check his blind spot as we merged onto the highway and then fixing his gaze through the windshield. "I don't want to meet them," he finally said.

"Why?" How could he not want to meet the donor? I already knew he had agreed to his information being released more for me and his mom than any interest he may have had in meeting them, but still. How could he not want to at all?

"Look, Alice," he said, exhaling heavily. "Right now, this is something nice that they're doing for someone they don't know. Really nice. As far as they know, they're saving someone's life. But it's...detached. If they meet me, then suddenly I'm a real person, with a name and a life and... What if this doesn't work? Then the person they tried, and failed to save has a face, a name, a girlfriend, a family... And the pain—actual _pain_, because this shit, harvesting bone marrow, _hurts_..." He trailed off for a moment. "Then it was all for nothing." He paused, glancing at me. "I don't want to put that on someone. There are good reasons why most people don't meet their donors until afterwards."

I crossed my arms and slouched down in my seat. "I wish you would stop thinking like that."

He didn't answer me; I hadn't expected him to.

I stared out the window, watching the mountain scenery flying by, slowly ebbing to hills and valleys as we got closer to Seattle. Jasper's mom groaned and shifted in her sleep, hissing as she hit her head on the door handle.

I felt bad for her. As hard as this had been on everyone, she had drawn the shortest straw. I mean, Jasper was her kid—her baby. That had to make it a hundred times harder. And Lucy had been more like a friend than a parent when we were all growing up, though I suppose that was almost to be expected. She was the youngest of all of our parents, having just celebrated her thirty-fourth birthday last fall, and she'd had something of a wild childhood herself.

But when Jasper had gotten sick, as a single parent she had to learn to fill the "grown-up" role better. She worked nonstop to try to keep up with the medical bills, and the stress and worry had caught up to her. She was still startlingly pretty, but fine lines had begun to form in the corners of her eyes and mouth, and worry lines were permanently drawn into her forehead.

I didn't know what she would do if this didn't work. At any rate, I didn't think she could go on like this much longer.

Caught up in my thoughts, I hadn't realized we'd arrived until Lucy jolted awake, startled by the sudden stop as Jasper parked the car.

"You ready?" I asked her, smiling. She nodded, but she looked like she was dreading it.

X

I was eleven when my grandmother passed away. That's what they said: that she "passed away".

It was too peaceful an expression for what happened to her.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was nine. By the time they found it, it had already moved to her liver. They never pretended they could fix her; it was too far progressed. They gave her five years, tops. Clearly, she didn't even get half of that.

Towards the end, the chemo that she had been taking to prolong her life caused internal bleeding. I used to stay with her after school while my mom was at work. At that point, she was still getting up in the morning, putting on her wig, doing her makeup, and going about her business. She went to mass every Sunday. She never missed a meeting of what my mom called her "Bitter Old Biddy's Book Club". She was fine.

I remember sitting at the dining room table with her. She had given me ice cream, which was rare, which made it all the more special. She wasn't exactly the doting type of grandmother. She could curse someone up and down the street, all the while making the sign of the cross over her chest like that erased it. She smoked like a chimney and slammed back coffee like no one I'd ever seen. She was strict. And above all, she never, ever let you ruin your dinner; she was especially insistent on that.

I looked up, startled, when her pen hit the table. There was a split second where nothing happened, and then her eyes went wide and she grabbed my almost-empty bowl and vomited into it.

I let out a little scream, half horrified, half disgusted.

"Oh hell," she said. I guess that was all she could think to say. She stood up, turning in the direction of the bathroom, but she didn't get two steps before falling.

The next few hours are a blur in my memory, even now. I know I called 911. I remember the paramedics showing up, asking her all sorts of questions while she barked at them that she needed oxygen. I think I screamed at one of them to just give her the damned oxygen or else. I remember the surprised look on Grandma's face when she heard me.

Mom left work and came to the hospital, and that's where it all started: the beginning of the end. It was a tangled knot of circumstances, all competing with each other for the honor of what would finally kill her.

She couldn't take chemo while she was recovering from surgery because of the bleeding risk, which allowed the cancer to progress. Then when she could take the chemo to slow the cancer, the bleeding started again. After her second surgery, her lungs stopped working on their own—a rare side effect of the anesthesia. She was put on a respirator and the doctors put her in a temporary coma to stop her from panicking and pulling the tube from her throat.

When they finally woke her up, it was like she wasn't my Grandma anymore. The cancer had reached her brain...and she'd forgotten it all. She forgot me; she forgot Mom. She talked about my dad a lot, but it wasn't clear whether she remembered he was dead or not. She talked about him visiting her, though; either way that wasn't a good sign.

Once, I visited her with my mom, and as I was leaving, she told the nurse: "That girl looked just like my granddaughter. But she's just a little thing. You should see her. She looks just like my son."

Eventually the pain management took her. She was almost never awake, and when she was, she couldn't understand where she was or why. She became hysterical, terrified and combative. She called all hours of the night, screaming that we had left her there to die, that we were killing her.

Then one morning, she died. Just like that.

It all happened in the space of two months. In two months, she went from my lively, crazy, sometimes abrasive grandmother, to someone that I didn't even recognize, and then she was gone.

Jasper and the others didn't come to the funeral. Their parents wouldn't let them miss school for it, because it wasn't their family. But when I left the church after the service, Jasper was sitting on the steps. His hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat, his clothing rumpled, shoulders rising and falling with heavy breaths. He had run all the way from the school when Mrs Wolfe wasn't paying attention at recess.

I'd managed to hold it together until that point, but when I saw him I completely lost it, sinking to my knees and sobbing. And then I was embarrassed for breaking down like that in front of him, and that just made me cry harder.

He stood up, hurrying over to me and crouching down, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. "Hey, don't cry," he said, holding my head to his chest. "It's going to be okay. Don't cry."

But I kept crying, and he kept holding me like that. Inside, my mother thanked each guest for attending and accepted their condolences. Outside, I poured all of my pain out to Jasper, and he took it all, letting me unload the weight.

I couldn't lose him like that. I couldn't do it again.

And I couldn't leave that church again...not without him waiting for me on the steps.

X

**APOV**

Throughout Jasper's appointment, his mom seemed antsy, and the closer the time got to meeting the donor, the worse her fidgeting seemed to get. At first I wrote it off as nerves or excitement, but at five minutes 'til eleven, as Jasper was finishing his chemo and getting ready to see his doctor, she pulled me aside.

"Alice, I need to tell you something before we go down there." Her blue eyes were wide, worried. "It's about Jasper's donor."

I furrowed my brow. What could she have to say about them? We hadn't even met yet.

She looked a little guilty and then sighed. "About six months ago, when Jasper had been waiting for months and we hadn't found a match, I started trying to find his father." I felt my eyes grow wide and I made a strange sort of sputtering sound. She shushed me and pulled me further down the hall. "_I didn't know what else to do_. You've got a better chance at finding a match in family members." Her eyes pleaded with me to understand. "I couldn't just let him _die_ because of the past. I mean, I should have contacted him sooner, I know that, but you have to understand—"

"Jasper...doesn't want to meet his dad."

She nodded. "I know. So I need you not to push him to do it. I was going to just pretend that I didn't know who he was when we went down there, but since he isn't going now..." She shrugged.

I shook my head, trying to make sense of all of this. "Then why are you telling me? You know I have to tell him, right?" The idea of keeping something like this from Jasper... I _couldn't_! It was ridiculous. This was his _father_.

She sighed and shook her hair back from her face. "I'm telling you in case he says something. He doesn't agree with me about keeping it a secret from Jasper. One of his conditions on donating was that Jasper would be given the option to meet him. That's the real reason setting this up was so easy."

"Then why not just let Jasper know and then he can decide?" None of this was making sense to me. How could she have possibly expected to pull this off?

"Jasper's father—_Jeff_." She sighed, sounding exhausted. "He isn't a good person, Alice. He got me pregnant at seventeen and then _ran out_. Four months ago, when I finally found him and told him that Jasper was sick, it took _three months_ to convince him to even get the test done to see if he was a match. _Three months_ to convince him to help _his own son_. Jasper... Jasper is better off without him." She moved to look me directly in the eyes. "Alice, you have to promise me that you won't tell Jasper—and that you won't tell Jeff that Jasper doesn't know it's him."

What? She couldn't actually expect me to do this for her—to _Jasper_? "I can't—"

"Alice, you have to promise me! It's very important." She swallowed. "Jasper _needs_ this."

I bit my lip and tried to avoid her eyes. "I need time; I have to think about this..." I finally said. "I won't tell him now—But I can't promise I won't ever tell him. I think he should know. But... Maybe it's best that he doesn't have that strain on him while he's sick."

Lucy nodded; her eyes softened slightly. We both only wanted what was best for Jasper. I definitely didn't like the idea of keeping something this big from Jasper. But the doctors themselves said that stress could be a huge factor in recovery.

A smiling nurse approached us and asked if we were ready to head down to the outpatient recovery room. I locked eyes with Jasper's mom, who nodded stiffly, and we followed the nurse through the maze of halls. It must have been lunch hour, because the halls were full to bursting with staff and doctors pulling on jackets and gathering their bags for break.

It must be nice to be able to just walk away from all of the suffering and desperation, even for a little while.

X

We stood outside of the door to the recovery room for a few moments, both of us steeling ourselves to go in. Before, when I had been expecting a stranger, I hadn't known what I was going to say. And I still didn't. But after Lucy's revelation, the situation had shifted.

"Are you ready?" the nurse asked us, still smiling warmly.

Jasper's mom nodded. "I think we've got it from here." She stepped into the room and I followed her hesitantly. Following her was the final step, committing to the lie. Outside in the hall, I wasn't a liar yet. But inside the room, with Lucy and Jasper's father; I felt like a criminal. Just walking into the room shamed me, made me sick to my stomach. It cemented that I had a secret to keep from Jasper.

Jeff stood up quickly when he saw Lucy, wincing as his weight transferred to his hip. "Lucy," he said, his voice tight. Jasper's mom nodded and Jeff's eyes flickered to me. "And this must be Alice?"

I nodded, unsure of what to say. He had clearly heard about me, but Jasper didn't know him and his mom had never talked about him, so I was at a loss. I just looked at him, taking in the details of the man who had abandoned Jasper, and who also might save him. He was tall and thin like Jasper, but his hair was dark and cut short. His features were sharper, his shoulders wider.

"Where's Jasper?" he asked when I failed to speak.

"He didn't want to meet you." Lucy's voice was sharp.

"Yeah." He nodded, to himself more than anything. "Guess I can't just show up after seventeen years and expect anything, right?" He laughed, but there was no humor in it. It was a bitter, angry sort of laugh. "Well, it's nice to meet the girl who's been taking such good care of him through this, anyway." He smiled sadly at me.

I opened my mouth, still unsure of what exactly I should say. "Yeah... He's... I'd do anything for Jasper..." It was awkward. Every time I had thought about Jasper's dad over the years - how he'd just walked out, how he'd never bothered to be there - I'd gotten mad. But now, with him in front of me... I don't know, I couldn't decide how I felt about it.

"Most people who care about him would," Lucy said in a clipped voice.

Jeff's eyes narrowed. "Look, Luce, I just let them slice me open and ram giant needles into my bones for the kid. I think I've done plenty."

Something about Jeff's words made me pause. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something about the way he was acting was off. It sent up red flags in my mind. Maybe Lucy was right. Maybe it was best to keep him away from Jasper.

"Yeah, good thing you've always been there when he's needed you," Lucy shot back.

"Stop." I moved between them and raised my hands. I looked at Lucy. "Can we not?" She looked from Jeff to me, her eyes softening slightly. I cleared my throat nervously, painfully aware that I had just garnered their undivided attention. "I just... That's not why we're here, is it? This isn't about the past." I turned to Jeff. "I don't know what happened back then, aside from you leaving. And we don't know how Jasper will feel about all of this in the future—" _Especially since he won't even know about it until the future_. "But right now, we're all just here to make him better. So could we just focus on that? _Please_?"

I hadn't pictured this when I had imagined meeting Jasper's donor. I had expected... I don't know, some sort of big _Lifetime_ movie moment or something. Maybe less melodramatic, and hopefully with less violence and death. But that definitely didn't include mediating old arguments between his parents. At the moment, it seemed more like a particularly bad episode of _Jerry Springer_.

After a moment Jeff relaxed, leaning back against the exam table. "She's right." He nodded to me, his eyes still trained on Lucy.

Lucy nodded. "Thank you, Jeff—for doing this." It sounded like it took a lot of effort on her part. Her shoulders were tensed, her eyes narrowed; her lips barely moved as she forced the words out.

Jeff cleared his throat. "I know I haven't really done much right until now. But I'm trying to make it better... And I want to meet him."

Lucy breathed in sharply. "We'll see how he feels again when all of this is over."

Jeff nodded.

The room grew awkward, all of us standing like the points on a triangle. I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked up; Lucy stepped away and moved to the door. I took one last look at Jeff. He was still leaning against the exam table, his hands braced on the padding, shoulders hunched, his head low. I knew that look, that stance; it was how Jasper looked when he was discouraged. It was the first time I could see Jasper in him. I turned without saying anything and followed Lucy out the door, shaken.

"I'll be in touch, Luce," called Jeff.

I looked at Lucy: her eyes remained forward and her jaw clenched. "We should get back to Jasper."

I nodded and followed her out into the hall, my mind spinning. How was I going to do this? What would happen when I saw him? Would he be able to tell the lie as soon as he saw my face?

X

**JPOV**

While Alice and my mom were gone, I took the opportunity to ask my doctor something that I had never had the courage to ask before. "What's it like? Dying, I mean."

Dr Cullen looked looked up from my chart, his face carefully blank. "Jasper, you're not terminal," he said.

I nodded. "But _if_...you know."

He leaned back against the counter, crossing his arms and studying me carefully. "Well, it's different for everyone," he said after a moment. "And of course no one can attest to what happens after life. But medically, a few things will most likely happen in your case, given your type of cancer. First, your organs would start to shut down. You'd lose all appetite, and eventually you'd stop producing waste. Your lungs would be the last to shut down. You'd have trouble breathing, but it wouldn't feel like you were suffocating; you'd just feel very tired. And then you'd go to sleep."

I swallowed hard. As far as death went, that didn't sound altogether like too bad of a way to go. I imagined how Alice would react to that thought and immediately felt ashamed of myself.

"Would it hurt?" I asked, trying not to think about what Alice would say if she were here for this.

"It could," Dr. Cullen said quietly. "We would do everything in our power to manage it, though."

_"You will go, but you will not go in pain."_

"Do people ever see angels towards the end?" I asked.

Dr. Cullen looked surprised. "Some people report seeing things like that. Some see loved ones who passed before them. I think it's tied up more in each person's faith than anything. It's the mind's way of trying to calm the body." He cleared his throat, opening my chart again. "That's usually much further down the road, though. None of that is anything you need to worry about at this point."

My throat felt thick, swollen; I had to try hard to swallow. "Yeah," I managed to say. "Thanks."

X

**APOV**

"You're quiet this evening," I muttered, tracing my fingers over Jasper's chest. He didn't answer me and after a moment I looked up at him. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just thinking." He didn't look back at me, just kept staring at the ceiling.

I frowned. "Are you feeling sick?"

He sighed, moving from under me and climbing out of the bed. He picked his pants up off the floor and turned back to me before he pulled them on, finally speaking. "I'm always fucking sick, Alice. Always. I'm _always_ tired; I'm _always_ in some sort of pain, and...I'm just so fucking sick of all of it."

I was taken aback by his harsh tone of voice and it took me a second to think of what to say to that. "It's almost over."

"It's always almost over," he snapped. "There's always some _new drug_ or some _new therapy_ or the _fucking_ transplant." Seething, he turned to look at me, and I nearly scooted back across the bed away from him. His eyes were wild. "And _I'm not getting better_."

"Jas—"

He shook his head, grabbing his shirt and pulling it on as he walked to the door. "I should get going. Your mom is going to be home soon."

And then he was gone; the door snapped shut behind him.

He didn't come back. I waited, and waited. And then when Mom got home, I went and waited on the front porch. Because he would come back. He would always come back.

Except he didn't.

Before bed I dialed his number. We always at least wished each other a good night, even on the rare occasion that we fought.

I listened to the call connect. It rang and rang and rang. And then it went to voicemail.

X

**JPOV**

I stared at my phone's display until the call rolled to voicemail and her name and picture were replaced by the missed call alert.

I would hurt her. But it would be better for her in the long run.

It would be easier for her to hate me than to mourn me. If I could get her to hate me before the end...if I had _time_...it would be the best thing I could do for her.

And what was a little more pain for me?

X

**AN**: Oh goodness. It would appear we're developing quite the case of the dark-and-twisties. Ahem. Moving speedily along.

Something for clarification: Jasper refers to the donation process as painful, and while he's not wrong, he's not exactly right, either. It varies person-to-person. Having said that, I'd like to just take a second to sort of prod you to consider registering as a bone marrow donor. It's a very important issue, and a very serious one. I don't feel I'm versed enough in the subject to give a full public service announcement on it, but I would encourage everyone to visit the Be The Match Registry. I'm going to put the link on my profile. They have TONS of information there, and if you decide to become a potential donor, you can register right there on the site. It's easy to do and easy to understand.

Now I'll climb down off of my soapbox and let you guys get to it. A lot of work (_a lot_) went into this chapter, and I'd _love_ to hear what you guys thought.

And so much thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter: **Twilighted**, **Lupinista**, **Hans153**, **Angelik Angel**, and **deltagirl74**. I know I didn't get around to individual replies last chapter, but I appreciated all of your feedback so much and I'll try to do better with that in the future.


	14. Layin' Down Truth

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Twelve**: Layin' Down Truth

**AN**: Oh boy, this chapter was a doozy, you guys. Talk about some writer's block. And on top of that, my betas actually have real lives outside of my story. I know, I couldn't believe the gall either. Haha. Anyway, the point is, I know this chapter took awhile, but real life is unfortunately a thing that happens to the best of us, right? Right.

Thanks so much to my betas, **almondgirl3** and **Faith212**, who bust their asses to make my story better even though they have things like their own writing, work, and finals week going on. If you need a reminder of all they do, just go look at the chapters that were posted before they signed on.

And a special thanks this chapter to **Lupinista**, **MyMindsEcho**, and **Hans153**, who went back to high school and took time out of their day to evaluate a bunch of poems to give the characters unique voice. You guys rock, seriously!

X

**APOV**

The bus didn't come by my house because no one on my street rode the bus. That was why, on Tuesday morning, I waited on my front porch like I always did before school. I felt like there was a large rock made of doubt in the pit of my stomach, telling me that Jasper wasn't coming, but I refused to believe it yet.

Refusing to put my phone away, I kept checking the screen. I felt like one of _those_ girls who waited and waited for a boy to call. But Jasper just wasn't any "boy". And he _was_ going to call...

But he didn't.

Instead, Edward's Volvo came whipping around the corner at seven thirty-five and pulled up to the curb in front of my house. I stood up and gathered my bag trying not to look as hurt as I felt.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," he said when I got to the car. "Jasper only called me about twenty minutes ago."

I shrugged and reached behind me to grab the seatbelt and pulled it across my chest. "It's fine. Thanks for picking me up."

Edward shifted the car back into drive and we headed to school in silence. If he knew what was going on with Jasper, he didn't say anything about it to me. And if he didn't know anything, I'd rather it stayed that way. I felt...embarrassed.

We made it to school just in time for first period, and as I walked into English my eyes fell on Jasper's empty chair. The rock in my stomach got a little smaller. If he just wasn't feeling well and was missing school, then it would make sense for him to ask Edward to pick me up.

But then, just as the bell rang, Jasper came hurrying into the room. He headed straight for his desk, not even glancing at me. Rose shot me a confused look and I just ignored her, busying myself with opening my book and then digging through my bag for a pen. The rock felt like a boulder now.

"Yesterday we finished with _A Woman of No Importance_. Those of you who missed yesterday—" Ms. Floyd's eyes fell on Jasper, me, and - oddly enough - Rose. "—will need to schedule a makeup test. Today we will start on our poetry unit."

My eyes closed on reflex. _Poetry_. That didn't sound awful _at all_. Because listening to teenagers read meaning into poetry always went _so_ well. And I wasn't just being snarky—I was pretty terrible when it came to poetry, myself.

"The first poem we'll be looking at is called _Time Does Not Bring Relief_, by Edna St. Vincent Millay." Ms. Floyd cleared her throat and started to read aloud, weaving idly through the row of desks.

"Time does not bring relief; you all have lied  
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!  
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;  
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;  
The old snows melt from every mountainside,  
And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;  
But last year's bitter loving must remain  
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.  
There are a hundred places where I fear  
To go—so with his memory they brim...  
And entering with relief some quiet place  
Where never fell his foot or shone his face  
I say, 'There is no memory of him here!'  
And so stand stricken, so remembering him."

She stopped between my desk and Rose's, peering around at us over her glasses for a moment as she let her words sink in. "What does this poem mean?"

I felt sick. I chanced a glance at Jasper, but he was looking straight ahead, slouched down in his chair and absently clicking his pen. He still hadn't looked at me once. The rock was defying physics and performing flips in the pit of my stomach now.

Jessica's hand shot up went up and Rose's shoulders shook slightly, her head dropping to her chest. Though she made no sound, my guess was that she was laughing. Jessica could say some pretty dumb things, but I didn't think she was actually stupid. Besides, how anyone could miss the meaning of this poem was beyond me.

Ms. Floyd nodded at her and she sat up straighter, propping her elbows on her desk. "Well, okay—it's pretty obvious that this chick is like, _in love_ with someone and then they're just gone, right? And no matter what she does, she can't stop thinking about him and missing him, you know?"

"Well... yes, that would appear to be what the poem's about." Ms. Floyd looked torn between wanting to indulge one of her favorite students and wanting to correct her. "Does anyone else want to expand on that?"

"Well," Mike started, his finger trailing down his text book as though to physically show his point, "what about the weather and stuff?"

"The weather and stuff." Ms. Floyd's hand came up to pinch the bridge of her nose. Condescending bitch.

Mike's face flushed and I tried to give him a sympathetic smile but he didn't see me. "Well, yeah. It's talked about a lot, like, the tide and the snow melting and the rain flowing away... And all of that takes time, right? So I think it's about the passage of time how it relates to grief and stuff."

I think Ms. Floyd may have had a pet peeve about the phrase "and stuff" because her eye sort of twitched a little. But when she spoke all she said was, "Very good." She turned to scan the room, her eyes almost pleading at this point. "Anyone else?"

"I don't think it's sad," Lauren said. "It sounds really, like, angry to me."

"And why is that?" Ms. Floyd asked.

Lauren shrugged. "Well, like, she's sort of accusing everyone of lying to her, right? And it's her own issue, but she's sort of taking it out on everyone else."

"I don't think..." Jessica wrinkled her nose, staring at her book. "I mean, I see the anger part, at the beginning, but I don't really think she's taking it out on everyone. It seems more like she's running away."

"Yeah, but you can't run away from a memory. Seems like that would make a person mad." Lauren's eyes flickered to Rose and for a second I tensed, but Lauren didn't say anything else.

After a beat Ms. Floyd nodded. "But we're not talking about what someone might do or feel in that situation, we're talking about what this poem means." There was silence. "Anyone else?" More silence.

My throat felt tight; I knew what it meant...but I was _not_ about to offer up my thoughts on the poem.

"Mr. McCarty, what words of wisdom do you have to offer?"

Emmett grinned at her. "I'm flattered, Ms. Floyd. Alright, here's how it is—"

"Emmett McCarty...layin' down the truth," Mike interrupted with a snicker. I recognized that tone. It was his "gathering voice".

"Damn straight."

"_Language_..." Ms. Floyd warned.

"Right, right. Anyway. It's basically saying that not only does time _not_ heal all things or erase loss, but that an absence of a memory can be just as powerful a reminder of loss as an actual memory. And yeah, there's pain in loss, and there's anger in pain, right? So that's not wrong. But more than that, I think it's hopelessness. This poem isn't about the pain or the anger or any of that, is it? It's about trying to escape, and the futility of it."

Ms. Floyd just stared at him, slightly dumbfounded, and he continued to grin. "Yeah, your mind's just been _blown_. I'm motherfucking insightful as shit."

Emmett had always liked to do that to people. He wasn't stupid. Well, he sucked at math, but _generally_ he wasn't stupid. He just didn't give a flying fuck about most things. But every now and then when he wanted to mess with someone, he'd whip out the "intellectual speech". Unfortunately, he usually followed it up with a string of profanity, and in this case it didn't go over well.

"The office, now." Ms. Floyd pointed to the door. "Maybe you can sell Mr. Green on your opinion that profanity enriches the English language."

Once Emmett had been excused, Ms. Floyd continued as if nothing had happened. I wondered if that always happened when we were excused. I supposed it must, it wouldn't make sense for everything to just stop, but it tugged at my mind...probably because of the thought combined with the poem.

When you're gone, everything just goes on like you weren't there.

"Next we're going to be looking at a poem called _The City_ by C.P. Cavafy."

"You said, 'I will go to another land, I will go to  
another sea.  
Another city will be found, a better one than this.  
Every effort of mine is a condemnation of fate;  
and my heart is—like a corpse—buried.  
How long will my mind remain in this wasteland.  
Wherever I turn my eyes, wherever I may look  
I see black ruins of my life here,  
where I spent so many years destroying and wasting.'

You will find no new lands, you will find no  
other seas.  
The city will follow you. You will roam the same  
streets. And you will age in the same neighbourhoods;  
and you will grow gray in these same houses.  
Always you will arrive in this city. Do not hope for  
any other—

There is no ship for you, there is no road.  
As you have destroyed your life here  
in this little corner, you have ruined it in the  
entire world."

"It just sounds like every person who's ever said they're going to get out of this place when they graduate and never do," Jessica said with a shrug before Ms. Floyd could even ask for feedback.

My eyes flicked across the room and my heart jumped into my throat when they locked on Jasper's. He looked away quickly, and the rock seemed to weigh about twenty pounds now. I wondered if I'd ever be rid of it at this point.

X

**JPOV**

By the last period of the day, I was perched on the edge of my chair, watching the second hand sweep around the clock face. When the bell finally rang I was out of my seat like a shot, grabbing my books and nearly knocking Newton over in my haste to get to the door.

I made it all the way to the parking lot and had my hand on the door handle of my car before I heard her.

"Jasper! Wait!"

My heart skipped a beat, as though it had tripped over itself in its rush haste to speed up. _Not now. I couldn't do this now_. But I couldn't exactly run from her, either. I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. It had to be now. It had to be done.

I checked my reflection in the car window, making sure to keep my expression blank before I turned around to face her. Alice didn't stop running until she reached me, nearly running into me in the process. I caught myself before I reached out to steady her. I couldn't touch her. I couldn't do anything to show that I cared about her. That was hard enough. How was I going to say what I needed to?

"What's...going on?" she asked between panting breaths.

"I don't have time for this; I need to get home." I popped the driver's door open to emphasize my point.

"You don't have _time_ for this?" She gaped at me, one hand coming up to cross her chest and grasp her backpack strap. "You don't have time to tell me why you're acting like this? Avoiding me? What are you? _Twelve_?"

I stared at the pavement. I couldn't look at her.

"What? You don't even have time to look at me? _Bullshit_."

I gritted my teeth and forced myself to glare at her. "You know what, Alice? Maybe I _do_ have time. But I just don't want to." I took a step closer to her and towered over her, knowing how uncomfortable that made her. She took a reflexive step back. It felt like a punch to the gut to see her react to me that way. My very soul was screaming at me to stop. If I had seen anyone else treat her that way, I might have killed them. And here I was, doing it myself. "I don't want to talk to you. I don't even want to look at you. Ever."

She looked like I had slapped her. I clenched my teeth against a sudden wave of nausea. For the first time in nearly a year, I didn't think it had much to do with the chemo.

I turned away before I could see any more of the damage I had inflicted.

"The buses leave in less than ten minutes. Your old bus will still drop you off if you ask the driver. You should hurry," I said before shutting the door and gunning the engine. I threw the car into drive and pulled away; I made sure not to hit her, but I was careful not to look at her face.

It might've been kinder to run her over though...

X

**EmPOV**

"Oh my god, Emmett." Rose panted, arching her back; her brow beaded up with sweat from the exertion.

"Sorry," I gasped.

"Don't fucking apologize; I just don't—" She lost her grip and went flying backwards, smacking her head on the footboard of my bed. I nearly burst out laughing as a string of obscenities came spilling from her mouth. "Every _fucking_ time!" She stood up and blew her hair out of her face as went to my desk and grabbed a pair of scissors. "I'm cutting the fucking thing off."

"You're not cutting it!" I jumped up, hurtling myself off the opposite side of the bed. "It was expensive!"

Every time we went cliff diving, I managed to get stuck in my wetsuit. I wasn't really sure how it happened. The stupid thing went on easily enough, and I was pretty sure water of all things wasn't supposed to make wetsuits draw up. But however it happened, it always led to a tug-of-war between Rose and the suit...and usually it ended with her getting injured in some way.

I was saved from my crazy scissor-wielding girlfriend when the phone rang. Rose's eyes narrowed threateningly. "You have until the end of this call to get out of that thing—or I'm shredding it." She picked up the phone. "Hello?"

I started tugging at the material, which was stubbornly refusing to move past my wrist.

"What?" Rose froze, her eyes going wide. "No, slow down; I can't understand you." I heard a weird wailing sound coming from the phone as Rose held it away from her ear. "No, no, you'll be okay. I'll be right there." She hung up and dropped the scissors back on the desk before grabbing her bag off the floor. "I have to go. Alice thinks she's dying."

"What?" I stopped tugging on the suit and stared at her.

She shrugged, but her face was drawn tight—that was about as concerned as her expression ever got. "Something about Jasper hating her and her lying. I don't know. I have to go."

"I'm sure she'll be fine. I mean, even if they break up, it's not the end of the world." I wasn't trying to get her to stay, but I thought everyone was overreacting a bit and it needed to be said.

"Yeah—except _they_ actually love each other." She shrugged and headed for the door. I didn't answer her, and when she was gone I flopped down on the bed, still stuck in my wetsuit, turning that over in my head.

Rose and I...we weren't like the others and we both knew it. Alice and Jasper had been in love pretty much since the dawn of time, like they were born wired to each other, even before they met or some shit. They'd always been together, even before they were actually a couple. Which was cool, you know. Whatever. They knew what they wanted and what they were looking for and all of that crap.

And now there was Edward and Bella, who were both such seriously fucked up people that they just sort of sucked each other in. They were like the yin and yang of the crazies.

But Rose and I...we weren't like that. We weren't just drawn to each other because we're fucked in similar ways, and we hadn't always just _known_. Actually, I don't think that either of us are one hundred percent sure even now.

But we'd always been together, in some way, since we were little. And she'd always been _mine_. She was my best friend when we were kids, and that never changed. When we got older, and she got, you know, fucking hot as hell, we were still friends—but all of these other guys had started noticing her, too. And I just... I couldn't stand that. I really tried. But she was _mine_. As imperfect as she was, and as fucked up as we both were, we fit each other. Those guys never had a hope of understanding or being able to handle her. I couldn't lose her. So then she was really mine, and it worked. I guess that's the easiest way to describe us. We work. We weren't perfect, and it's not easy, but at the end of the day it had always been Rose and me.

People always seemed really disappointed when they found all that out. I guess they were always hoping for some great romantic story like Alice and Jasper's. But that was the point: Jasper and Alice were romantic and sweet and all of that shit. Their story fit them. Rose and I...our story fit us. It was fucked up and jealous and twisted as shit because that was who we were. I guess we were just lucky we found each other, because who the fuck else was going to be okay with that?

X

**EPOV**

I was competing in a staring contest with a fast food burger.

I couldn't remember the last time I ate a Big Mac. It was actually entirely possible that I had never eaten a Big Mac in my life.

_Five hundred and fifty_, my mind whispered. _That's almost your whole total for the day_.

I hadn't even picked up the burger yet, and I could already tell my throat and stomach weren't having any part of it. It was like my determination to stick to those numbers was actually making it physically impossible to do otherwise.

I stood up and dumped the burger into the trash can before making my way back to the basement.

I couldn't take her offerings of negative-calorie foods anymore. I just couldn't. I didn't want it to always be occurring to her how weird I was. I didn't want her to have to keep making allowances and adjustments for me. I wanted to be able to take her out, to go to dinner or the movies or something, and not have both of us obsessing over everything I ate or didn't eat.

But it didn't look like any of my habits were changing today.

I put in my earbuds and started running as I scrolled through the music.

I had been running for about ten minutes when I looked up and saw my mom standing at the bottom of the steps, the kitchen trash can in her hand and a strained look on her face.

I was so surprised that I nearly tripped. I barely managed to quell the curse threatening to burst forth as I pulled the safety key on the treadmill and ripped my headphones from my ears.

"Jesus Christ," I gasped as I stepped off of the belt. "What?"

"This needs to stop." Her tone was short. She always got very no-nonsense when she decided to confront the situation.

I grabbed my water bottle and sat down on the couch, twisting the top off as I thought about what to say. "I know," I muttered.

"You're going to end up in the hospital again." Her tone softened and she set the trash can down and walked over to sit beside me.

I sighed, leaning back against the cushions. "I'm trying."

She reached out and smoothed my hair back. She had always done that. I guess it was a nervous habit, grooming me like that. "Is there any way I can help?"

I knew this whole thing had been hard on her. Even when I was younger, when I was just sorting my food, it worried her.

I shrugged. It wasn't that I didn't want her help, or I didn't want to talk to her, but I honestly didn't know what anyone _could_ do to help. "I want...to get better," I forced out. "I really do."

"Why now?" She looked surprised. "Not that I'm not glad to hear it."

"There's this girl..." I sighed and shook my head. "That sounds really stupid. But she makes all of these allowances and stuff for me. She's trying so hard to understand and work within the limits I set, but..." I tried to think of how I should phrase it. It was still a new concept to me, and explaining it was difficult. "I guess I just don't want her to. Until now, this has really only affected me, you know?"

Mom froze, her mouth turning down in a pained expression. "You think this hasn't affected anyone else?"

"I mean, I know you and Dad worry but—" I couldn't find the words to finish the sentence. That had come out wrong, but I didn't know how to fix it. "I don't know; this seems different."

Mom didn't say anything. I could tell she was hurt by what I had said, but she was trying not to show it.

"I don't know where to start with it," I said to fill up the uncomfortable silence. "I thought if I could eat that..." I nodded at the trash can that held the burger. "I don't know. I guess I thought if I could do that, everything else would be easy."

"I can understand that. But maybe you shouldn't start so big. Start with eating healthy stuff, just more of it." She frowned thoughtfully. "Do you need to go back to Dr. Freas?" Dr. Freas was my psychiatrist, an older woman who dressed like a gypsy and smelled like sandalwood.

I shook my head. "No."

Mom was quiet for a minute before she spoke again, smiling softly. "You know what I think?" She reached out and unstrapped the band with the safety key from my wrist. "I think you need to stop this. Find something else to do in the evenings. Go out with your friends. Go to dinner, or go up to Port Angeles and eat junk food at the pier."

I raised an eyebrow at her. She held up her hands, palms out, in surrender. "I know, I know. But I don't think you can start getting better here. This house has been part of your rituals for too long. If that girl makes you want to get better, then go out with her. Try to change a few things with her."

I was quiet as I thought about what she had said. She had a point. But the idea of letting Bella actually _see_ me struggling with something as simple as eating... That was a lot easier said than done.

X

**APOV**

I had called both Bella and Rose. And once I'd hung up, I was immediately embarrassed. I should have gotten a better hold on my emotions before I contacted anyone. Rose especially was going to be so irritated with how I was acting. Or, that was what I thought.

But it was Rose who showed up first, and when I opened the front door she just pressed a pint of ice cream into my hand and stomped into my kitchen to find spoons. She didn't say anything as she flopped down on the couch and broke the seal on her own pint of Chunky Monkey. I looked down at the ice cream in my hand. Cheesecake Brownie. I just stared at her.

She patted the cushion beside her and held out a second spoon, breaking my surprised trance. I moved to sit with her but didn't open my ice cream, running my nail along the frost that had formed on the side of the carton, drawing random lines in it.

After a minute or two Rose finally broke the silence. "So what happened?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I guess... It's a long story. I was keeping this secret. And I think Jasper found out."

Rose dug her spoon into her ice cream in an especially violent manner, a determined look on her face as she unearthed a walnut. "So?" She popped the nut into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. "He can't actually expect you to tell him everything, right? Everyone has their secrets. I'm sure he'll get over it." She took my ice cream from me and broke the seal. She removed the lid and handed the carton back to me.

"This...was a pretty big one..." I didn't know how much I should tell her.

"Hmm." She took another bite of her ice cream. "I swear to god if you waste that shit, I'm going to deck you." She nodded at my ice cream. "It's not cheap, you know. Besides," she said, a little softer, "it's good for the soul."

"I think my soul needs a bit more help than Ben and Jerry can offer."

She put her ice cream down and leaned back against the couch cushions, crossing her arms. "Okay, you're going to have to give me a little more to go on here, if you want my help."

I didn't know that I wanted her help. That was the problem. I mainly didn't want to be alone. I wanted to know that someone still liked me. But Rose had a pretty strong, if twisted, sense of justice. And any way you sliced this, if I was right and Jasper was mad at me because he had found out about his dad, I was wrong for keeping it from him. And Rose wouldn't exactly be gentle about that.

I should have just called Bella and left it at that. Bella would be sympathetic and let me wallow and tell me I wasn't wrong. Because even though I knew that wasn't true, I just wanted to feel sorry for myself for a while. I was hurt, and I wanted someone to think I was right to be hurt.

Rose wouldn't do that if she knew I had done this to myself.

I picked up my spoon and dug into the ice cream to buy some time. Rose was right. It made me feel better—a little, anyway. Maybe that was why Edward was always so moody. No comfort food. "It was a _big_ secret," I finally said, my voice thick around a mouthful of brownie and cheesecake ice cream. "And like, I didn't even _want_ to do it. But Lucy asked me to."

"Lucy asked you to keep something secret from Jasper?" Rose wrinkled her brow. "Lucy doesn't keep secrets."

"Pa-ha." I made a weird noise of disbelief and accidently sent flecks of ice cream flying onto the coffee table. "Sorry."

Rose waved it off. "So whatever this big secret was, you think Jasper found out?"

"And I think he found out that I knew and didn't tell him." I nodded. "Now he says he never wants to talk to me again. Or even look at me."

"Harsh."

"Right?" The doorbell rang and I sighed, sitting down my ice cream and standing up to answer it. "That must be Bella."

"Excellent," Rose said and I looked at her in surprise. She shrugged. "What? I'm dying to know what this secret is, but if Bella's here then I won't have to be the nosy one."

I rolled my eyes.

Rose called after me as I went to the door. "Anyway, I can't imagine Jasper saying that and actually _meaning_ it. Not to you anyway."

I opened the door to find Bella on the porch, as expected. She looked worried. I don't know what she had been doing when I called her, but she had obviously left in a hurry. Her hair was damp, twisted into a tangled bun, and she was wearing plaid sweatpants and a tee shirt that were both about two sizes too big for her. The look was completed by flip-flops, and while they were both blue, they weren't quite the same shade.

"Are you okay?" Her voice was harsh but concerned.

I felt myself blush. "I'm so sorry that I worried you that much," I muttered.

She exhaled heavily, pushing a few stray hairs from her face. "What happened?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out!" Rose called from behind me.

Bella shifted uncomfortably. "Rosalie's here?"

I nodded and stepped aside. "Come on in."

She stepped into the house, looking for all the world like a lamb being led into a lion's den. Yeah, that was the other issue with calling them both. It hadn't occurred to me earlier.

Rose, for her part, looked like a kid in a candy store when we got back to the living room. The truth was, Rose was amazingly nosy by nature. But she also hated nosy people, so she regularly battled that out in her own mind. I'm sure she thought that with Bella there, she could indulge her nosiness without appearing nosy. Vicarious nosiness. Nosiness in the third degree.

I sighed as I sat back down and Bella took a seat in the armchair by the television. "Why don't I just go ahead and tell the story before you explode?"

Rose shrugged noncommittally, digging her spoon into her ice cream but not taking a bite. "If you want."

I took a deep breath and started the story. As I went on, Bella's eyes flickered as though she were physically following the story on a page. Rose had completely forgotten her ice cream and was gaping at me like I might have lost my mind.

"Whoa," Bella breathed when I finished. "Just...whoa."

"So all of this happened in like...a day?" Rose's ice cream had started to drip onto her lap from her spoon and she hadn't seemed to have noticed it yet.

I nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I know all of this has been hard on him, but he changed like that." I snapped my fingers. "I can't think of what else it would be."

"Your life is like an episode of _Days of Our Lives_," Rose observed.

"I know right?" I had thought it was _Lifetime_ or _Jerry_, but this situation had total soap opera potential now.

"Maybe he just got bad news?" Bella leaned forward, resting her elbow on her knee and her chin on her palm.

Rose frowned. "He _has_ taken that stuff out on you before."

"Really?" Bella looked surprised and a little angry. "What a dick."

"He hasn't really. Not like _this_," I argued."He's usually just short-tempered in general. I mean, this time, he seems to really, really hate _me_. And not like, chemo-hate."

"Maybe you should talk to him." Rose finally noticed the dripping ice cream and followed up her suggestion with a curse, putting the spoon back in the carton and getting up to get a damp paper towel from the kitchen.

I flopped down on the other side of the couch, burying my face in the cushions. "He doesn't want to talk to me. And what if he _doesn't_ know? I promised Lucy I wouldn't tell him, and if he didn't find out he'll just be madder, and she'll be mad, and I don't know about Jeff you guys." My voice faded into a whine.

"Jeff?" I heard Rose ask. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"What?" My voice was muffled by the couch cushions.

"It just seems really random with the rest of the what you said."

"I don't know." I groaned, sitting up again. "He's like... I guess he must care about Jasper, a little, right? I mean, he came all the way from Texas to meet him and be his donor. But while he was talking to Lucy, I don't know, he just seemed really...volatile."

"Well there's a lot of bad blood there," Rose offered. "It makes sense."

I shrugged. "He just seemed..._off_, is all. It's hard to explain."

"I agree with Rosalie, though," Bella chimed in.

Rose and I exchanged a surprised look.

"I mean, all of this aside, you have to talk to Jasper, right? You can't just live like this, anyway," Bella continued.

I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right." I pulled my phone out of my pocket, my heart squeezing when I confirmed that there were no new alerts. Jasper hadn't called or texted since he said what he did. I tried to shake it off and scrolled through my contacts to find his name. My heart pounded as the call connected and started to ring.

After a few moments the call rolled to voicemail. I disconnected and sat the phone down, tears burning my eyes.

Bella was chewing her lip. "He didn't answer?" Her voice was quiet, her eyes wide and sympathetic. I shook my head. "Maybe he's just busy..."

"Bella." Rose's voice held a warning.

"Well, we don't _know_—"

"No," I croaked, my voice breaking as everything inside me seemed to crumble. "He doesn't love me anymore."

X

Rose left when her mom called around eight and insisted she come home, but Bella stayed. She didn't say much. She probably didn't even know what to say. She cleaned up the long-melted remains of the ice cream and then took Rose's spot on the couch and patted my shoulder awkwardly.

"Things always get better," she offered.

I let out a weak sort of laugh, wiping at my eyes. "Thanks."

"I mean it. I mean, I've been there, you know. When you think it'll never get better...and then it does. Time goes on, and things change. Sometimes it's for the best, and sometimes it's for the worst, but it's always temporary. Things will always change again."

I couldn't see this ever getting better. "What if it doesn't?"

She didn't answer me. I sighed and rolled over from where I had been laying on my stomach, staring at the ceiling. "How did you do it?"

Bella took a second to answer, and when she did I could tell she was stalling. "Do what?"

"You know..." I muttered.

She sighed. "I overdosed. I figured it was kindest option for whoever ended up...finding me." She shook her head. "I couldn't stand to think of my mom walking into my room and seeing me hanging, or into the bathroom and finding a bathtub full of blood. I wasn't out to punish anyone."

I draped an arm over my eyes, trying to press the tears back in. I wasn't out to punish anyone, either. But that was the bitch of it, wasn't it? It only hurt the people who survived.

"You're not going to..." Bella trailed off, her voice shaking.

I shook my head. "No. No, I just wondered."

X

**JPOV**

James' mom was the only parent I've ever met who was younger than my mom, and she was infinitely more irresponsible. So when she up and left one day, no one was really shocked.

I don't know if James deals because he has to, or what sort of financial arrangement his mom left him with. It wasn't really my business, so I'd never bothered to ask.

Either way, it had turned his house into a sort of youth hostel, right in the middle of Forks. At any given time there was someone smoking up, drinking, tripping, or sleeping it off. He didn't manufacture or grow in his own house—I actually wasn't sure if that was his game at all.

I had never been so stoned in my life. I was surprised the thought occurred to me. I was surprised any thought occurred to me. I obviously wasn't stoned enough. I wanted to be completely outside of my mind. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to feel.

Pot wasn't really the drug for that, but I had been hoping it would work, anyway.

"Dude. You fucked up." It was the most James had said to me since I had shown up.

"Fuck off..." I sighed, rolling over on the couch and craning my neck to look at him. Victoria had taken up her usual post sprawled across his lap.

"You know I don't usually give a fuck about what anyone gets up to." James grabbed an ashtray off of the side table and reached into his pocket for his lighter. "But man, you had it good with Alice."

"You sound like a chick-flick," I said. He wasn't telling me anything I didn't know. "Besides, that's not the point."

"Then what the fuck is the point, man? You could...well, you know..._die_." His voice dropped and his eyes darted to where Maria was stretched out on the floor, staring at the ceiling with a lazy smile on her face. She didn't give any sign that she had heard him. He lit a cigarette and drew deeply on it, exhaling as he waited for me to answer.

I didn't. "You have anything stronger, man?"

"You don't need anything stronger."

"That's not what I asked you, is it?"

He stared at me for a moment; his eyes narrowed. I refused to break eye contact with him. Finally he sighed and patted Victoria's thigh. She stood up and he went to his room. "Fuck it," he said when he came back. "I don't give a fuck."

He held something out to me and I opened my hand to let him drop a small tablet into it. "What is it?" I asked.

"Something stronger." He sat back down, pulling Victoria back down on top of him.

"Seriously, what is it?" It was the first time Maria had spoken that night.

I didn't know what she was on, but it seemed to take a lot of effort for her to sit up and focus on James. I wondered, if she had managed to process that, if she had also managed to riddle out his earlier comment, but then I threw out the concern. It didn't matter. Maria was way too strung out most of the time for anyone to really give much thought to anything she said.

I didn't let myself think about it any more and placed the tablet into my mouth, throwing my head back and forcing it down. I was scared, truth be told. I had never ventured any further into drugs than marijuana, and I had no idea what I was getting into.

At first nothing happened, and I started to think that maybe James was just fucking with me, or just trying to get me to shut up about anything stronger. It was probably just an aspirin. That would also explain why he hadn't mentioned me paying for it yet.

Then my skin began to tingle. I couldn't decide whether it felt good or bad. It was a crawly feeling on the surface; deeper down it felt like nails caressing my flesh. I opened my mouth and looked at James to ask him again what it was, but the words died in my throat.

I could see _everything_.

Had I ever seen anything real before?

Victoria's hair was such a deep, vibrant red. It was screaming at me. It came to life, the curls twisting around, binding me in soft tendrils. It was like fire. Soft fire. I couldn't decide—couldn't think. Was this good?

Everything fractured. The very air around me shattered and I might have been gasping but I didn't need it. It made no sense.

There was a face in front of me and I wanted to touch her. The dark hair, the huge, innocent eyes. I wanted to touch her but I was bound. She glowed.

The angel.

"What the fuck did you give him?" That was wrong. She wouldn't say that.

Her hand reached out, touched my arm. She was cold. Or maybe I was burning? She didn't feel right.

Her face blurred, smeared, and I nearly screamed. But then she was back.

She was here.

"Alice." I felt my lips move, felt my vocal cords vibrate, pulled tight like the strings of a guitar. But I didn't speak. The sound came from everywhere. She was everywhere. I was everywhere.

"No." Her mouth twisted into a grin. Red and white and sharp and it stabbed me right through my chest. Her face flickered. Maria. "No."

Who was speaking? I could reach out and touch the words, but I couldn't tell where they were coming from. They were just there.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are."

She touched my face. Cool fingers moved hot water. Was I crying? Why was I crying?

"I'm sorry."

"I love you."

"I hate you."

X

**AN**: Those of you who are frustrated with Jasper: Don't worry, I am too. It's appalling, really. You would think I have no control over his actions, with how offended I am by them. XD

Hmm. Oh. The poems used in this chapter are both from a collection called "Poems to Live By in Uncertain Times", compiled by Joan Murray. It's a really excellent collection, and it comes super-recommended by yours truly, for what it's worth.

So now, it's your turn! I've been writing for almost two weeks. Time for you guys to do it a bit when you get to that review box there. Because you're going to, right? :D

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter: **romanceaholic**, **mandy7**, **Lupinista**, **deltagirl74**, **Twilighted,** and **Hans153**. You guys made my life, pretty much. :3


	15. Interlude

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

Interlude

**AN**: What? A double update? Yeah, I know, right? Awesome. Don't get too excited, though, this is just a short companion "chapter" to the prologue. For clarification, it takes place after the main story, like the prologue. Hope you enjoy it!

X

He checks his watch. We've already been talking for a very long time. I feel worn out, beaten down.

"It's important to understand the beginning of the story, if you want to understand the end," I say after a few moments of silence. The look on his face tells me I've hit the nail on the head. He's been wondering why I'm telling him all of this.

He sighs and sets his notepad down on the table. "We'll have to continue this tomorrow." He stands up, straightens his jacket, and hits the button to signal to the guard outside that we're ready to leave. There's a loud buzz, a click, and then the door swings open.

I stand obediently, stepping around my chair and letting the guard move behind me. They don't use any kind of restraints here, unless you cause problems.

We step out into the hall, and for a moment I think I must be seeing things.

_She's here._

She looks tired, and her eyes fall on mine a full five seconds before they register any recognition. She's been taking the meds.

_It's probably for the best, for her..._

_I wish I could. I wish I could just check out._

We've almost reached each other now, and at the last second I stick my hand out, grasping hers and squeezing it once.

Surprise contorts her face for a second, and I see her eyes well up.

And then we're past each other. My guard takes me back to my room, and her guard leads her somewhere else.

It's the first time I've seen her since it all crashed down.

It's the first time I've seen her since we destroyed everything.

X

**AN**: Short, I know. There won't be many like this - like, maybe one more before this is over - and they'll always be uploaded with another chapter. So just consider it a happy (well, not happy as far as _content_ goes) little bonus for you guys.

Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing! You know what I'd love to hear? I love to hear reader's theories on what might have brought our cast to this point. :D Have at it!


	16. Drowning

**Animals in a Cage**  
Annaleise Marie

**Chapter Twelve**: Drowning

**AN**: Sorry for the delay, guys. The blame is totally on me. Life has just gotten crazy lately. But well, it's a lot of long winded stuff that you guys probably don't actually want to hear about because you're here for the story, right? Right.

So for now I'll just say a huge thanks to **almondgirl3** and **Faith212**, who beta'd two different versions of this chapter, kept their temper with me, and put up with my horrible procrastination. They're pretty awesome. And now, on to the story!

X

**BPOV**

I wasn't sure if I should mention what Alice had asked me to any of the others or not. On the one hand, she _had_ said she was just wondering, that she wasn't going to do anything. And I _guess_ that could've been true, that she'd just been wondering about me and my failed attempt. Maybe she was just curious.

But I had an unsettling feeling in my stomach that told me Alice wasn't just curious...but _morbidly_ so. And if she _did_ do something and I knew about it but didn't say anything...that made _me_ responsible... Didn't it?

Her death would kill me too. Maybe not in the same way. But Alice had been so nice to me. She had been the only one to really just welcome me without question. From the beginning, she had treated me like I was already one of them. And now she hadn't shown up to school...

It had been eating at me since last night and I had been turning the issue over in my head all morning. I couldn't focus on any of my classes, and now, halfway through lunch, I had barely said a word as I tried to decide how to approach the subject—or if I should at all.

"Earth to Bella!" Emmett cupped one hand around his mouth to imitate a mic while waving the other in front of my face.

I started slightly, my eyes sliding back into focus. "Huh?"

Emmett rolled his eyes. "I asked if it's actually as bad as Rose is making it out to be. I mean, this is high school. People break up," he said with a shrug of his shoulders. "Even people as 'perfect' as them. I just don't think—"

The words just came out in a rush. "It's bad. Last night, Alice...she asked me how I had..." I faltered. I had always had trouble with the word, and even though he wasn't there, after Jasper's reaction that day we exchanged secrets, I was a bit hesitant to say the words again. "_You know_. She asked how...how I did it."

"_What_?" Rose's voice was sharp as her eyes darted to Alice and Jasper's empty chairs. Jasper was in school today, but he hadn't shown up to lunch.

Emmett swore loudly, earning himself a stern look from the teacher monitoring the cafeteria. He shot him an exaggerated apologetic look, which quickly faded. "Did she ask you about the cliff?" he asked me, his voice dropping.

I shook my head. "No. I mean...she said she's not going to do anything..." I didn't know how to answer him. The question confused me. I just shook my head again, unable to elaborate.

"Okay, he's taken this way too far." Emmett pushed his chair back from the table and stood up.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked, looking up from his salad. I hadn't brought it for him. And only realising now how monumental this was—Edward eating of his own accord—hit me like a kick to the gut. I was ashamed to admit it, but I had been so preoccupied that I hadn't even noticed him eating. I drew my lip between my teeth.

"I'm gonna find that mother fucker and try to talk some sense into him. That, or beat him bloody."

Edward opened his mouth to speak again but by that point Emmett was already halfway to the side doors that led outside, leaving the rest of us in uneasy silence.

X

**JPOV**

I felt like shit on Wednesday. A hangover was the only thing I'd experienced that even came close to the way I felt, but not even that felt exactly the same.

Alice wasn't in English, and every time I had looked towards her empty seat, Rose shot me a glare that would probably wither most house plants. _Guess she heard what happened..._

It stung slightly that no one except James - being uncharacteristically observant, I'll admit - had even bothered to ask me what happened. I guess it was understandable though; I had been pretty horrible. And I didn't especially want to talk to anyone about it. But still, it sort of hurt that everyone thought I would treat Alice like that without there being more to the story.

By lunch, I wasn't feeling up to dealing with the group. Maybe it was irrational, but I was angry that none of them had stopped to consider the possibility I wasn't the bad guy in this situation. They should know me better than that.

So, when the bell for lunch rang, instead of heading for the cafeteria I'd cut across the football field and climbed the bleachers, heading for the topmost corner. Forks High wasn't an open campus, so technically I wasn't supposed to be anywhere other than the cafeteria during lunch. Even so, I had been coming here on and off during the last year, usually when the chemo made me so sick that just the smell of food could make me vomit. No one ever checked to see if anyone was out here.

Well, until today, apparently.

I looked up when I heard the echoing thud of someone stepping onto the bleachers. Emmett was making his way towards me, two rows at a time. And he looked angry. _Shit...this _had_ to be about Alice_.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" He was close enough now that I could hear him over his footsteps.

I was too much of a coward to look at him, let alone answer him. Instead, I fixed my eyes on the sound booth in the middle section of the bleachers. I wasn't about to get into this with him. If no one wanted to know my side of the story, and just wanted to be angry and offended about it, then so be it.

"Hey, you deaf as well as stupid?" He stopped on the row below me, his arms crossed over his chest.

"I think the phrase is actually 'deaf and dumb'." I couldn't help myself.

Emmett exhaled hard through his nose, a nerve in his jaw twitching. He sort of reminded me of a bull ready to charge. "You think this is funny?"

"No, actually; I find all of this really fucking insulting." I could feel my temper rising. All of them just refusing to consider my side of this was one thing, but actively seeking me out to pick a fight?

"Oh, poor thing." He sneered at me. "God forbid anyone _insult_ you. _Poor thing, he's got it so rough. It's just the cancer; it's just the chemo. He doesn't _mean_ it._" His tone was mocking, his eyes flashed angrily. "Yeah, well, _fuck_ your excuses. You've taken this way too fucking far, man."

"You don't know _anything_ about _anything_." I fought to keep my voice steady.

Emmett laughed. There was no amusement in it. "No, you're probably right. I don't know what it's like to die, right? I mean, I haven't died twice or anything."

"Yeah, right, Emmett; you're a fucking god for cheating death. I bow down to thee." I stood up and did just that. "_Happy_?" I tried not to acknowledge the fact that I was only meeting him eye-to-eye because I was a step over him, or that he was twice as broad as me. We've all always known that if he and I ever got into it, he'd pretty much break me in half without trying.

"Then what is it? What don't I know about?" He looked like he was daring me to answer, but even if I had wanted to, he didn't give me time before he continued. "What it'd be like to have someone who would literally die if anything happened to me? You're right. I _don't_ know. And here you have it, and you're just..." He stopped and took a deep breath before he spoke again. "What exactly _are_ you trying to do?" By the end of his rant, the anger seemed to have faded into nothing short of muddled exasperation.

I rolled my eyes. "People break up, Emmett. It happens." He just continued to glare at me and I shrugged. "I'm sorry if I hurt her. But she'll live."

I didn't really believe my words. I mean, I didn't think she'd _die_—that was a bit extreme. But I didn't think she'd be any sort of okay for a while, either. And judging by Emmett's reply, neither did he. "That's just it, man. She _won't_."

"It's better this way," I said quietly and then sat down, overwhelmed with how shitty my life had become.

Emmett studied me for a second before comprehension dawned on his face, only to be quickly replaced by a fresh rush of anger. "Shit, man, you haven't given up, have you?"

"I'm just sick of it; I'm sick of _everything_." I looked up at him. "I'm _tired_, Emmett. I'm tired of fighting...I'm not...I don't _want_ to die. But I'm ready. I just want to let go...let whatever is gonna happen..._happen_."

"That's weak, dude," he grunted.

"And who the fuck are you to judge that?"

"And who the fuck are _you_ to just give up? And what, you've gotta take Alice with you?" He shook his head. "I thought a lot better of you than that."

"I'm doing all of this so I _don't_ take her with me!" I shouted. "If she can get over this before...before it happens, then it'll be easier."

"But she's not _going_ to get through this! _Don't you get it?_" Emmett's eyes were wide in disbelief. "Man, when you were first diagnosed, and she learned about your odds of survival, do you know what she did?" He paused for a second, not long enough for me to answer. "She started asking me all these fucking questions about the cliff, and what it was like to die! I just wrote it off as her worrying about _you_, but do you know what she did last night? She asked Bella how she did it—when she tried to kill herself. So grow the _fuck_ up and stop _fucking_ with her like this. _You're going to kill her._"

I had never wanted to swing on Emmett so badly in my life. "Shut the fuck up. You don't know what you're talking about." My fists were clenched, my nails digging sharply into my palms. "I'm not doing anything like that."

"You may not be doing it on purpose, but yeah, you are." Emmett stared at me, his eyes narrowed, his arms still crossed over his chest. "So ask yourself this: Why are you punishing _her_?"

My throat swelled. Emmett had given voice to something that I hadn't even let myself think, but had definitely felt. "She'll make me keep fighting." My voice was thick, heavy. More alarming than the sense that I was going to cry, was the hot anger that I still felt coursing through me.

"Of course she will. She loves you. People don't just let the people they love go like that."

_"I'm sorry."_

_"I love you."_

_"I hate you."_

Had I said that?

"I'm so fucking _sick_ of fighting..." I said after a minute.

Emmett scoffed. "So you're just ready to die, then?" He shook his head and sat down. "Did I ever tell you what dying is like? Or did Alice tell you what I told her?"

I shook my head. "She probably didn't want to put it in my mind."

"Yeah well, I'm going to tell you, since you're so fucking determined to get on with it." He was staring me straight in the eye. It was pretty unnerving. "All that shit people say about a white light and an incredible sense of peace? That's complete bullshit. Fuck that. You know what I felt? Pain. And then nothing. And then more pain. There's nothing waiting for us after this.

"But you know what, you've got it pretty good here. You've got friends who care about you, and Alice, who loves you _so fucking much that_ - and I'm gonna be honest here," he said, spreading his arms, palms up.

"It would be a shame to stop now."

Emmett continued on as if I hadn't said anything. "It's a little fucking ridiculous sometimes. So if I were you, I wouldn't be in such a hurry to let all of that go. And no matter what you eventually decide to do, you have to stop hurting Alice like this. You are literally going to kill her."

He stood up as the bell rang, barely audible from the school, to signal the end of lunch.

"Emmett." I was alarmed when I heard my voice break. He looked up, but all I could do was nod. I wanted him to know that I had heard him, that I got it. But I didn't trust my voice. It would've been way too weird to cry in front of him.

He sighed and reached down, pulling me to my feet, and then wrapped his arms around me, patting my back awkwardly. He pulled away after a second. "You tell anyone I hugged you and I'll beat the shit out of you."

X

What had I done?

I thought I had been doing this for her, but I wasn't. Not really. I had been selfish and cowardly, and I had hurt Alice to alleviate my conscience.

But more than that, my conversation with Emmett had brought to light the fact that I was angry. Whether it made sense or not, whether it was right or not, I was absolutely _furious_ at Alice. I was resentful. There was a part of me that insisted she was the reason I was still going through this. If it hadn't been for her making me fight, I'd be done already.

It wasn't fair. Logically, I knew that. I did.

But logic did nothing to quell the roaring beast that insisted that this was _her_ fault. If _she_ hadn't pushed me. If _she_ hadn't insisted. If _she_ hadn't loved me.

If she hadn't, if she hadn't, if she hadn't...

But she had. And I had. I'd loved her back. I'd thought that was okay.

_What was I going to do?_ I couldn't keep hurting her like this. Emmett was right about that.

But this wasn't the sort of thing you could just go back and apologize for.

And still, the beast roared.

I couldn't let it win. It was wrong.

And still it roared.

I _could_ just go up to her and apologize. Alice would understand. Alice _always_ understood. If she didn't, she would try to. I could.

With a sinking feeling in my gut, I remembered that Alice wasn't here today. I had hurt her yesterday, and she was avoiding me today.

She was hurt.

The beast growled softly. _Good_, it seemed to say.

_No_. Not good.

She was hurt. And I had just left her alone.

I pulled out my phone, ignoring the way the beast's growls grew louder and more insistent, and dialed the one person I knew would be available this time of day.

"James, I need a favor..."

X

**APOV**

I heard Bella leave to go home before school. I heard my mom leave for work. I heard Edward outside, honking his horn. I didn't move. Eventually the sounds stopped.

I hadn't taken a day off just because I felt like it since middle school. Once I reached high school, I got more serious about my studies. I had things I wanted to do, and those things required hefty scholarships, and hefty scholarships required good grades.

The last time I had skipped like this... I struggled to remember. Oh yeah. Lauren Mallory's Disneyland keychain. Like most things, I didn't even remember taking it. I remembered looking at it while she told all of the girls about her vacation, but _actually_ taking it? No. That was when all of the other girls turned against me.

I had stayed in bed. The bus still ran on my street, and I was supposed to catch it because mom had to leave a half hour before me to get to work back then. But I didn't even get up.

And then Jasper had shown up. Because that was what he did. It was as simple as that. If I was in trouble, it was like he sensed it. He had always shown up.

That day, it was still warm, just a few weeks into August. And Jasper said it was too nice to go to school, anyway. So we did what we always did on warm days like that...

I don't remember actually deciding to do it, but before long I was up and getting dressed, pulling on my swimsuit and then a pair of jeans and a tee shirt over that. I went downstairs and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. It was a pretty long hike to the creek.

The creek ran through the woods at the very edge of the neighborhood. It had been dammed quite a few years back. I wasn't sure why. But either way, it created an area of relatively still water where we all played in the summer, until we were old enough to drive and actually go up to the beach and such.

The water was so calm there that even I could float around without much of a problem, and shallow enough that I could stand up in most places if I needed to. That was assuming I didn't get too close to the dam, where the creek bed dipped suddenly, going from about four feet deep to a full ten feet at least.

When I got there, I shucked off my jeans and tee shirt and stood at the edge of the water for a second, staring at the calm surface. What had brought me here? I wasn't going to do anything, but still...I needed to know.

I took a step, letting the water take me in up to my knees. Despite the fact that the cool Spring months were edging into Summer and the day had grown warm, the water was freezing. I held my breath and relaxed my legs, dropping below the surface and shooting back up quickly. It helped, but not much.

After a few minutes I let myself slip under the water again, lifting my legs and letting the water envelop me. It was so quiet and peaceful under the surface. _If I just breathed in now..._

I heard somewhere that your body won't let you consciously drown or suffocate yourself. Floating like that, I began to doubt it. I could just sink to the bottom and never come back up.

I was dimly aware of how stupid that was. What a waste.

I could hear them now.

_"Alice, yeah, she killed herself."_

_"Because of a guy."_

_"How sad."_

_"How stupid."_

_"Over a _guy_?"_

And Jasper... Jasper would be so disappointed.

My lungs started to scream for oxygen and for a second I tried to fight it, but it turned out that bit of trivia, wherever I'd heard it, was correct. I stood up, gasping, and shook water from my hair.

Despite my sadness, despite how much it hurt to know that Jasper wasn't mine anymore, I know I would never have done it anyway. Not really. I was just...curious.

But it had been so peaceful down there.

I let myself slip under once more.

I didn't feel the current; I didn't feel the pull from the dam. I hadn't noticed when I had stood up before how much closer to the wall I was than when I had first submerged.

My head hit the stone with a soft thud, the water muffling the noise. It wasn't hard, but it startled me. I opened my eyes and the sun was dim. I was a lot further from the surface than before. The current had pulled me down to where the water rushed to escape.

I closed my eyes against the burn of the water and tried to propel myself up. I grabbed at the stone, trying to find a handhold, anything to pull myself up. My lungs were starting to scream. Panic started to set in.

My eyes and mouth flew open. My feet scraped at the loose mud of the creek bed. Freezing water flooded my mouth. Bubbles burst forth. Panic froze my mind.

This was it. I was drowning. I was dying. And as many times as I had imagined it, it had never been like this.

But it seemed that Death didn't want me...yet.

Something closed around my arm and then I was being yanked up. My other arm and my leg scraped against the stone of the dam. It must have only been a few seconds, but it felt like forever before my head broke the surface. I coughed and retched, water stinging my throat. I kicked violently to stay afloat before the hand closed around my arm again, pulling me up.

I planted my hand on the top of the dam and tried to pull myself out of the water. My arms were too tired; it was like my bones were asleep. The hand that pulled me from the dam, grabbed onto me again, helping to haul myself up onto the dam. Straddling the stone, I coughed violently again. Water came up, gagging me, and a strong hand slapped me on the back, sending the water splattering over the stone. I looked up, half-blinded by tears, a sob tearing from my throat.

Blond. He had long blond hair, and for a second I thought...

"Fuck, Alice, are you okay?"

It was James. I sobbed harder at the realization. For a second, I had been so sure...

James seemed to think I was crying because of the panic. Maybe part of me was. He patted my arm awkwardly. "Hey, you're okay. You're fine."

"Why are you here?" My voice came out in a croak, my throat hoarse from coughing. I wiped my eyes, trying to regain control of myself. It was stupid to be irritated that it was James... After all, he _had_ saved me.

He looked out over the water, seeming to turn the question over in his mind. After a second he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know what to tell you, Alice."

"How about the truth?" I wrinkled my brow. It didn't seem like that difficult of a question.

James nodded. "Alright. But it's not to be repeated, okay?" He paused, looking at me pointedly. "Jasper called. Asked me to check up on you. He was worried when you didn't show up for school."

"Right," I scoffed.

"Seriously." James reached for his jacket. I guess he had dove in from the dam.

"He's really mad at me." I blinked hard. I refused to allow myself to start crying again, especially in front of James. "I doubt he'd care."

"Nah." James had pulled his cigarettes and lighter from his jacket pocket and was pulling one out. He lit it and held the pack out to me; I shook my head and he nodded, pocketing them again. "I don't know exactly what's going on, but he's not mad at you."

"How do you know?"

James stared at me. The way he looked at people when he was thinking was sort of unnerving. He reminded me of a wolf surveying a field of sheep. After a moment he shook his head. "It doesn't matter how I know; I just do."

I didn't answer him. I had been hoping for something more. But I had never had much luck getting any sort of information out of James. Years of evading the police and authority figures had made him very adept at talking in circles. Eventually everyone walked away thinking he had told them something of worth, only to discover it was meaningless shit.

"How's he doing?" I finally asked, my voice cracking.

"Fuck, Alice." He exhaled with a short laugh, sending smoke streaming up into the air. "We don't do the whole talking-about-our-feelings thing, you know?"

I nodded. I hadn't really expected him to answer me.

"But—" he began, taking me by surprise, "—even if I don't know _exactly_ what's going on in his head, or why he's treating you like this, I _can_ tell you that he's hurting."

"What do you mean?"

"He dropped acid last night." James shrugged when I gaped at him. "Yeah. And if that wasn't enough of a red flag, he spent most of his high on the ground, convinced that Maria was you, sobbing and apologizing. It was kind of uncomfortable."

"I thought acid was a good trip?" I don't know why my mind stuck on that detail, but there you have it.

"Acid just heightens how you're feeling. It's a good high if you're in a good place. But if you're in a dark place..." He trailed off and shrugged again before standing up. "I've probably said too much. I gotta go, anyway. Stay out of the water, yeah?"

I nodded numbly as he walked away. When he reached the end of the dam he turned back to me. "Jasper's a good guy. Too good for all of this, anyway. And no matter what he says, I think he needs you."

My throat stuck and I swallowed hard. "What if it's too hard?" I asked. I really hoped he would have an answer. I didn't expect him to, but I hoped.

"Ah... That's the question now, isn't it?" He grinned and turned again, and then he was disappearing through the woods, leaving me to puzzle out what he had said.

X

"James is a nutbar. I'd just ignore him." Rose was flipping through the channels on the television, an action that I recognized as another tactic she used to distract her nosy side.

I snorted. "No—_you'd_ punch him in the face."

Bella laughed and then quickly schooled her face into an apologetic expression when Rose glared at her. They were still on awkward footing, but at least the room didn't get all tense anymore any time they interacted. It actually seemed like they were joking with each other instead of attacking at every opportunity.

After a moment Bella spoke, her voice quiet and hesitant. "I've been thinking about it, and you know, this is just a thought, so don't take it _too_ seriously but... Well, Jasper's been sick for a really long time, right?"

I nodded. "About a year."

"Right. Well, and he said that he's been fighting for you. Cause he knows how much it hurts you that he's so sick."

"Wait." I broke in, sitting up straight. "When did he say that?"

Bella's cheeks turned a little pink. She wrinkled her brow, thinking hard. "I think...yeah, it was right after I found out he was sick. When he got upset because I had tried to kill myself?" She rushed on, explaining even as my brain was making the connections itself. "Well, I mean, I still don't know him _that_ well. He's pretty quiet, right? But what if he's preparing himself for...you know? Maybe he's pushing you away so that you don't care as much."

"That's so stupid," Rose scoffed. "I mean, it's a pretty good theory, but if that's what he's doing it's stupid."

"Yeah, but it matches up with him calling James. He still cares about her, but he doesn't want her to know that," Bella pointed out. "If he was just mad, I don't think he would've done that."

Rose nodded in concession and sat down the remote, stopping the channel on a rerun of _Everybody Loves Raymond_. Bella groaned, but Rose just ignored her. "Did you find out if he knows about his dad?"

I shook my head. "Maybe I should just call Lucy?"

Rose nodded. "I would." Her eyes locked on mine. "And for real? If he doesn't know, you need to tell him. Now that you've seen what it could be like if he found out you were hiding it, and how you would feel...you need to tell him."

I sat up as an idea sparked in my mind. "If I told him, do you think he'd talk to me again?"

Bella looked uncomfortable and opened her mouth hesitantly, but it was Rose who spoke first. "That's sort of pathetic, Alice."

Her words stung and I opened my mouth to argue.

She didn't let me get a word out before she continued. "No, I'm not saying it to be mean, but you're better than that." Her eyes narrowed. "It's really disappointing that you'd use something like that for your own gain. You shouldn't have been hiding it in the first place, and turning it into a game piece is more than a little shitty. You need to tell him for the right reason—not to get anything out of it."

"I didn't mean that I'd _only_ tell him if he came back," I muttered. That was a lie. That was exactly what I had meant. And now I was bitterly ashamed that the thought had even crossed my mind. Rose was right. I couldn't use something like that to control Jasper. I would do just about anything to get him back, but there had to be a line somewhere, and that would definitely be crossing it.

We all froze as we heard the front door open and close, and after a second my mom came into the living room, her arms full of swatches and samples which she dumped unceremoniously on the loveseat next to Bella. Her mind must've still been on her work, because she looked surprised to find anyone sitting there.

"Oh." She looked around, her eyes falling on Rose and me in turn.

"Hey Mom." It occurred to me that as much as Bella had been around lately, she still hadn't actually met my mom. "This is Bella."

"Nice to meet you," Bella said quietly.

Mom smiled at her kindly and then started sorting through the pile of swatches. "The Stanleys changed their color palette. _Again_." She sounded irritated. "After I had _already_ ordered everything."

"You're decorating the Stanleys' house?" Rose asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Unfortunately. They're an unpleasant bunch. Do you want to help, Alice?" Mom only asked for my help when she was feeling especially discouraged and needed to bounce her ideas off of someone.

Ordinarily, I would have jumped at the chance to go through the paint chips and fabric samples. I always pretended that I was decorating my own house. But today I had other things to worry about.

"I've actually got stuff to do. Homework," I added quickly at her surprised look.

Rose stood up and straightened her clothes before grabbing her bag. "Yeah, and I've gotta get home. You know...family dinner." No one pointed out that it was just her and her mom. I got the feeling her sudden need to get out of there had more to do with her intense hatred of Jessica than any disinterest in decorating. When we were younger, she had loved going through Mom's sample books when she came over, building her dream house for when she grew up.

But then again, Rose had stopped talking about things like that a long time ago. I didn't even think she had any plans for after high school.

"Call me if you need help on your homework, though," she added pointedly before she left.

I grimaced. That wasn't exactly subtle. But Mom had already turned her attention to Bella.

"How are you with decorating?" she asked.

I shot Bella a pleading look over Mom's shoulder and she shrugged, smiling uncomfortably. "I can try." She sounded doubtful.

Once Bella had distracted my mom, I took the steps two at a time up to my room, pulling my phone from my jacket pocket and flipping through the contacts as I went. By the time I shut my door, the line had connected and the phone was ringing.

"Hello?" Lucy's cheerful voice answered on the fourth ring.

My heart thudded. Everything came down to this. I hadn't even realized how nervous I was about it until I heard her voice. "Hey, Lucy, it's Alice."

"Hey, Alice, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to make this quick, I'm about to go into work." Lucy's second job was at the local clinic, as a receptionist, and she wasn't allowed to have her phone on at work. HIPAA laws or interference with equipment or something. Probably a combination of the two.

"It's fine. Listen, did Jasper find out about Jeff?" I was kind of glad that Lucy was in a hurry. I had no idea how I was going to approach this subject with any sort of subtlety.

There was a pause. When Lucy spoke, her voice had dropped an octave. I couldn't tell if she was panicked or suspicious. "Why?"

I gathered that, if he had found out, she didn't know about it. "He's just...he's acting a bit strange. And not like, "chemo" strange. Anyway, I don't think I can do this. Keeping this from him...it doesn't feel right. It's making me paranoid and I feel guilty and I just..."

"Alice, calm down." Lucy's voice was calm again, soothing. "I know this is hard for you, but I really think it's for the best—"

"I don't think so," I blurted out. I rushed on, not wanting to upset her. "I don't know what kind of guy Jeff is now, or who he was then. I don't know if he has any ulterior motives for helping Jasper. But this is eventually going to come out, and when it does, Jasper is going to hate me. Don't make me do this..."

"Well, Alice...you've kind of already hidden it from him, haven't you?"

It felt like my blood had turned to ice, each heartbeat a struggle, goosebumps rising on my arms. She was right. Even if I told Jasper now, I _had_ still hidden it. What was I going to do?

"But to answer your question, no, I don't think Jasper's found out about Jeff. And we should keep it that way. For everyone's good."

X

**AN**: Again guys, sorry for the delay on this chapter. It was turned over to me by **almondgirl3** and **Faith212** quite awhile ago and I completely dropped the ball. Thanks for being so patient with me. I'll try not to let further chapters take so long. But know that I've recently reregistered at university and I don't know that I can keep a regular update schedule. I promise updates will still happen though.

Also, by now most of you know **almondgirl3** (or you don't read my ANs and therefore aren't reading this, most likely). Well, she's started a fic of her own, titled "The Silent One" and my gosh, you guys have to check it out. If you like this story, you'll probably really enjoy hers. Not because of plot similarities - that would get boring, right? - but because she lends so much to my story and my style and just. Trust me, it's gonna be awesome. She's still at the beginning and so it's the perfect time to jump in!

Okay. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm working from a mobile browser that doesn't allow multiple windows at the moment, so I can't find all of your names, but know that it is so, so appreciated. I hope to hear from you all again!


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